National Council for a New America–Whatta Pizza Work!

From The Washington Post:

A group of prominent GOP leaders yesterday launched an effort to improve their party’s sagging image, hosting an event at which they did not directly attack President Obama, rarely used the word “Republican” and engaged in a healthy dose of self-criticism.

At a pizza restaurant in Arlington, where they officially unveiled the National Council for a New America, party leaders attempted to portray Republicans as sensitive to the concerns of average Americans and to shake off the “Party of No” label that Democrats have tried to affix to the GOP.

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Va.) rejected the idea that yesterday’s event, the first in a national series, was about “rebranding” the GOP, but it gave the impression of a party looking for a fresh start. Cantor, former Florida governor Jeb Bush and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney sat on stools and lobbed criticism at “Washington” and “liberals.” They took few shots at Obama as they pledged to start a “conversation” with voters around the country.

The new, improved GOP! And pizza! What could possibly be wrong? Well, kids, while Cantor, Mittsie, and Jebby represent the same shit we’ve been hearing for decades from the asshole goopers new face of the Rethuglican party, don’t make any mistake as to who’s still writing most of the menus…

Cantor took the lead in forming the group, which he says is officially nonpartisan, though it includes no Democrats and will be operated out of his office.

Worried that the GOP is being portrayed only as the opposition party, prominent Republicans hope to draw attention to their agenda by using well-known figures such as Bush and Romney to tout their ideas. But they don’t believe they need to shift their political views to the left or the right to win.

Hope they don’t get burned! Better wear an oven mitt. Those pizza ovens get really hot!

The town-hall-style event was also the latest signal of Cantor’s emergence as one of the party’s leading voices. He announced the group’s creation in a conference call Thursday, even as House Minority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) was bashing Obama to reporters.

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele was not included; Cantor’s office said that doing so would have made the effort seem more partisan.


Romney is widely seen as preparing for a second presidential run in 2012, while Bush is eager to assert himself in the debate over how the GOP should reshape itself.


“From the conservative side, it’s time for us to listen first, upgrade our message a bit, not be nostalgic about the old days,” Bush said.

Don’t be nostalgic? Really? Maybe Jebby’s right. After all, he seems to have moved on. Then again, the only thing that the Rethugs seem to offer is warmed-up leftovers from this place.

(By the way, there are some things that are just too serendipitous!)

Those crazy Rethugs! They’re just a little slice of heaven.


Filed under Barack Obama, Chimpy, Democrats, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, humor, Jeb Bush, John Boehner, Mitt Romney, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Rush Limbaugh, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

21 responses to “National Council for a New America–Whatta Pizza Work!

  1. jeb

    Be very careful. That’s not really sausage they’re offering on that pizza.

    • doesn’t matter, jeb. they don’t want any of us to have a piece of the pie anyway! πŸ˜‰

      • jeb

        Oh right, trickle down. If they cut all the pieces for the wealthy, we might get to lick up whatever falls on the floor. It the Raygun principle of Katrina economics, all boats rise to the same level when the levees are breached.

  2. Nonnie, you have no idea how appropriate I find your use of the Domino’s logo for the GOP Pizza Parlor. Tom Monaghan, the founder of Domino’s, is a well-known conservative.

    He’s so conservative, he ended up moving out of his liberal home town, Ann Arbor, to his own new town in Florida. Hey, Nonnie, that means he’s your problem now! πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

    • omigosh! that didn’t even occur to me! i was just trying to think of a famous pizza place that had ‘no’ in the name. i completely forgot about how he wanted an entire catholic town in floriduhhhh. i’m so glad that i never buy anything from domino’s. thanks for that reminder, neon vincent! πŸ˜€

  3. Nonnie, ever been to Satchell’s in Gainesvile ? Good old hippie pizza and you best be ready to wait for it !! As for these clowns, I love the Limbaugh chef with the pill bottle, priceless. Gotta love Jebbie’s understatement : upgrade our message “A BIT” !!!! Yeah, a fucking HUUUUGE bit, chubs, don’t you think ? Forget about how he and Psycho B. Katherine Hairess delivered Kennebunkport’s village idiot to Scalia et al for his coronation ? Thinking maybe there’s a few folks who aren’t quite so ready to forgive and forget. And once again their fresh face of Hip Hop leadership gets pimpslapped by the fat white boys. Priceless.

    • rastamick,
      i live in the ft. lauderdale area, and i haven’t been to gainseville in years. i don’t think i had pizza on the 2 or 3 occasions i was there.

      so you noticed the pill bottle, huh? πŸ˜† i love to throw in little details like that hoping people will catch them.

      the more they talk, the more the arrogance comes out. no humility whatsoever. they never admit their mistakes. if they do, the mistakes were always made by someone else. you can upgrade shit as much as you’d like, but it’s still gonna smell like shit even with the upgrades. they need to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch.

      • My old accountant moved from SE Michigan to Ft. Lauderdale last year. She now has an office on Broward Ave. She seems to enjoy it down there.

        • broward boulevard. after the winters in michigan, i’m sure she’s enjoying the heat (though it was much cooler than usual down here for the past few months). however, she’ll probably get sick of it. i know i am.

  4. dusty

    The pill bottle at Boss Limbaugh’s feet..nice touch! πŸ˜‰

    The faux paux over dipshit Palin was a hoot today. Gawd, I hope these idiots continue to drop the ball, all the way through the next election cycle.

    • they just keep embarrassing themselves time after time after time. when you think they can’t top themselves in the stupidity department, they surprise you! like i’ve said before, they need to change the name to the republican parody. they are really a laughingstock.

  5. Nostalgic about the old days!! lol… Remember when we got to run the Constitution through a shredder? send well-meaning kids off to war on a lie? Pack the Supreme Court with boys who’ll do what we tell ’em?

    Those were the days!

  6. This may be your funniest post EVER.
    That tiny pill bottle really was a nice touch.

    • karen,
      i had so much fun with this post. i kept thinking up new stuff and going back to photoshop. i really need to send the rethugs a thank-you note. they make my life so much easier! πŸ˜€

  7. We don’t deliver!!!!

    You are too funny!

    Wait! Is something burning? I smell smoke!

    • fran,
      thanks so much for picking up on my little jokes on the menu. and, yes, you do smell something burning. there’s plenty of smoke, right next to the mirrors! πŸ˜‰

  8. Pingback: Eric Recanter « HYSTERICAL RAISINS