Primary Dolors

From The Dallas Morning News:

AUSTIN – As the GOP struggles nationally to redefine itself, the debate over what it means to be a Republican is playing out in Texas, too, through Kay Bailey Hutchison’s challenge to Gov. Rick Perry.

Hutchison says the “core principles” that will help the party grow are not social, but economic: smaller government, lower taxes and free enterprise.

Perry’s appeal is to a GOP base that sees social issues such as abortion as a litmus test of party purity.

Original DVD cover.

In Texas, where Republicans hold every statewide office, some are watching the Hutchison-Perry race as a test of whether big-tent conservatives or the GOP’s social-conservative wing will shape the party’s future just as Democrats begin to show signs of being competitive again.

“You’ve got a very hard case to make that Kay Bailey Hutchison wouldn’t be the stronger general election candidate,” said Charles Cook, editor of the Cook Political Report. “To me, she projects moderation, which is great – except in a Republican primary.”


Recent GOP primaries have averaged around 650,000 voters, and religious conservatives have dominated the outcome.

Next year’s primary could attract more than 1 million voters. Both candidates are well known: Perry has been governor since 2000, and Hutchison has served in the Senate since 1993.

Hutchison’s political team believes its campaign would benefit from a higher turnout and is targeting center-right voters, including suburban women and economic conservatives.


Hutchison supports embryonic stem cell research and abortion rights, though she backs restrictions on abortion such as a ban on federal funding for organizations that perform abortion and a ban on late-term procedures.


The Republican governor has stepped up his appeal to social conservatives in advance of the GOP primary in March. He has promoted anti-abortion bills in the Legislature, cultivated politically active pastors and appeared at anti-tax “tea party” protests, where he led the crowd in chanting “states rights!” and expressed sympathy for those supporting secession.

And he’s leaving no doubt where he comes down on the question of how to build the party.

“I don’t make any apologies to anybody for being a true-blue conservative, both a social conservative and a fiscal conservative,” Perry said Thursday night on a teleconference, dubbed “Tea Party 2.0,” with opponents of government spending and corporate bailouts.


Nationally, the Republican debate over its future follows losses in two successive election cycles. Moderates say the GOP must become more inclusive or risk permanent minority status; conservatives say the party succeeds only when it rallies around clear principles. Recently, the debate was crystallized when former Secretary of State Colin Powell said the party had to accept that voters want a more activist government, and Vice President Dick Cheney said he would prefer Rush Limbaugh’s vision of Republicanism to Powell’s.


In Texas, the Republican Party has suffered some losses in the Legislature and at the county level, but it remains dominant statewide. Democrats have not won a statewide election since 1994.

From Talking Points Memo:

Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) told the Houston Chronicle that his co-Senator, Republican Kay Bailey Hutchison, could potentially resign her Senate seat pretty soon in order to campaign full-time in her GOP primary challenge against incumbent Gov. Rick Perry.

“My guess,” Cornyn said, is that Hutchison will resign “this fall sometime.”

A resignation at that point in time would allow Perry to appoint an interim Senator who would serve until a May 2010 special election — an affair that Cornyn would very much prefer to avoid, given the potentially strong Democratic campaigns of Houston Mayor Bill White and ex-Comptroller John Sharp.


Filed under abortion, Colin Powell, Democrats, Dick Cheney, humor, John Cornyn, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

17 responses to “Primary Dolors

  1. jeb

    Sound like the makings of a good old hair-pulling catfight. The nice thing is we won’t even have to order it on pay-per-view.

    • i love watching rethugs rip each other apart. i hope kbh gets her nails sharpened before they let her loose on little ricky. not sure it will do her much good if the fundies come out for the primary, but it will be entertaining to watch!

    • Jeb – that’s exactly what was going through my mind as I was reading! 😉

  2. Nonnie, the original film looks like a thoroughly trashy movie, perfect for this parody.

    BTW, where did you find the more modest outfit for Madame Senator?

    • doesn’t it look trashy? i love using the really obscure crappy movies. they’re fun to work on.

      i made madame senator’s outfit. i couldn’t let her look like a hoochie, so i used the original outfit and manipulated it as best i could. this cover was a rush job, so i didn’t get a chance to really shop for something for kbh to wear.

  3. “Recent GOP primaries have averaged around 650,000 voters, and religious conservatives have dominated the outcome.”

    Gah. That’s because they are idiots who don’t think for themselves.

    KBH is the queen of earmarks. . Pretty hypocritical for somebody who’s always yammering on about wanting smaller government and less govt spending.

    • nunya,
      let the fundies keep deciding who their candidates are going to be. they’ll keep losing.

      how ironic that kbh is the queen of earmarks, when little ricky is ready to secede from the union and give up all that federal gelt. yeah, right! 🙄

  4. Nonnie that is brilliant, how did you EVER get that text to match like that?!?

    I love the original cover, good lord, that IS about as trashy as it gets.

    Yes indeedy do, it’ll be quite entertaining to watch the rethugs slug it out.

    Rick Perry is such a major douche-bag. I think his biggest supporter is the whacked-out psychopath Ted Nugent.

    • helen,
      if a poster is about kbh and little ricky, it should be as trashy as possible! 🙂

      the way i get text to match very often, as is the case here, is that i cut and paste the existing text on the poster and putzing around with them until i get them to look somewhat like the letters i want to make. that sometimes means that i have to figure out words with letters i think i can make. i’m lucky when the title is long with a lot of different letters. in this one, i only had to make the F. it’s really a combination of the L, T, N, and E. then it was just a matter of moving the ‘ight’ to cover the N and then filling in the background to cover the old lettering. i like having to use the old lettering. it’s challenging, especially when i have to figure out how to make the harder letters–the ones with curves when all the existing lettering is made of straight lines, and the ones with angles, like N, W, A, or Z. now aren’t you sorry you asked? 😉

  5. As a liberal queer living in Texas, you have no idea how mortifying it is to have these assholes representing us as lawmakers.
    You’d think after foisting off that Yankee carpetbagger Bush on the nation for so long, Hutchison, Cornyn and Perry would want to make up for it by showing a little dignity.
    It’s like they’re trying to out-do each other as the new King (or in Perry and Hutchison’s case) Queen of Ridiculous Texan Politicians.
    If I had to rate them in order of obnoxiousness, I’d choose Hutchison as the lesser of the three, and put Perry and Cornyn in a tie.
    Cornyn is a soft, pasty white wimp who cheats on his wife and Perry is a notorious closet queen with a meanstreak as wide as Texas.

    • 😆 since when are you texaszipdrive?

      i haven’t seen a lot of perry, but cornyn makes me want to puke whenever i see his giant head on tv. kbh has that stepford wife vibe that makes me throw up in my mouth. she seems totally phony to me, and it still pisses me off that she was allowed to adopt an infant when she was 58 and her husband 68. that’s supposed to be natural when gay people adopting is not? yes, grandparents can raise their grandchildren when it is necessary, but having a 58-year-old mother who is very rarely home and an old fart for a father the best start a baby can have?

      • I just added the Texas for emphasis.
        Kay Bailey has her squinty eyes on the Texas Governor’s office, so she’s allowing Rick Fairy to go after the extreme right wingnuts of the GOP.
        I’m just glad she’s leaving the Senate, because a new freshman senator from Texas who’ll likely be another Republican will have less clout.
        She’s definitely a conservative, but unlike these other two turds, she rarely looks for crazy topics like secession to throw out to the media for attention.
        I dislike her but I don’t hate her.
        Cornyn and Fairy, I hate.

  6. i just cannot stop laughing…… kbh wishes her tits were as pointy as the ones you gave her.

    my favorite kbh line – when asked about mccain picking palin she said “i hear she is a nice woman.”

    • the rethug women really should pay me. i’m really very kind to them. i do a better job than any plastic surgeon.

    • Word on the street was that KBH nearly pulled her hair out in an agonized rage when she was passed over for that hick Sarah Palin.
      See, we Texans think Alaskans are backwoods hicks without no culture or nuthin.’
      Those sumbitches will eat anything, including bears and moose. Roadkill is a delicacy.
      They make jewelry out of moose turds, for chrissakes, and they chew on whale blubber (mucktuck) as a little snack.
      And their meth labs are better than ours.

      • 😆 the ever-expanding name!! why would kbh want to be veep? i guess she figured capt underpants would kick the bucket, and she would be the first female prez.