On a late-night talk show, Let-ter-man made a joke,
About Bristol, not Willow, not Willow!
Sarah acted so mad, you’d think she’d have a stroke,
The silliness be-gan to billow.
I have to ask, Sarah, why oh why do you rave?
Is it simply to get the attention you crave?
If it is, don’t continue attacking poor Dave,
It’s about you, not Bristol, or Willow!
I’m sorry to tell you, your daughter’s fair game,
I mean Bristol, not Piper, or Willow,
Ever since she told Candies they could use her name,
From Seattle down to Amarillo,
They want her to speak of her abstinence views,
(As they try every day to sell ‘come-fuck-me-shoes‘)
After boinking with Levi (that’s no longer news)
When she should have been hugging her pillow.
I’m thinking this whole thing might be a big ruse,
It’s not about Dave’s peccadillo,
But controlling debate with the help of Fox News,
With Sarah their so willing shill. Oh,
Sarah, we’re really so sick of your games,
You pimp out your kids (with their fercockteh names),
You’re phony, and one day will go down in flames,
Just like Seany, and Glenn Beck, and Bill-O.