With the recent focus on Mark Sanford and John Ensign (before they killed Michael Jackson to get reporters off their backs), the spotlight is once again upon past scandals of those in the party of family values. I thought we would take a stroll down memory lane…
Original DVD cover.

By the way, kids, the woman pictured is Cindy Hampton, Ensign’s married ex-mistress.


Rudy Giuliani (2002): There was no greater New York tabloid story than former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s high-profile divorce from wife Donna Hanover. She accused him of “notorious adultery,” and Giuliani is now married to then-girlfriend Judith Nathan.

And let’s not forget Cristyne Lategano, the 28-year-old press secretary he was boinking while married to Donna. There were rumors for 20 years that he was having affairs. He’s been married 3 times.

Don Sherwood (2006): The then-65-year-old Pennsylvania congressman lost his House seat after it was revealed that he’d had an extramarital affair with a 29-year-old woman who’d called 911 from a closet in Sherwood’s DC apartment, charging that he’d choked her. He claimed he was just giving her a back rub. The woman had filed a lawsuit against him for $5.5 million, charging he’d repeatedly abused her during their relationship. She settled for about $500,000.


Republican Mark Foley (2006): A text message gay page scandal ended Foley’s career and gave his Florida congressional seat to Democrats – albeit for one term.


Republican Newt Gingrich (2007): As he was weighing a 2008 presidential run, the former speaker acknowledged — in an interview with the Christian conservative group Focus on the Family — having had an extramarital affair during the 1990s.

This defender of marriage has also been married 3 times, just like Rudy. This shithead announced his decision to his first wife (his former high school geometry teacher) to divorce her while she was in the hospital recuperating from cancer surgery.

David Vitter (2007): The married Louisiana senator got caught up in the DC Madam prostitution scandal. But after his wife chastised the media at Vitter’s mea culpa press conference, he’s stuck it out.

Let’s not get into little Davy Vitter’s diaper fetish. One wonders, though, why the DC Madam was prosecuted, but Diaper Davy wasn’t.

Larry Craig (2007):
“I’m not gay,” were the words that made headlines from the press conference where the Idaho senator professed his innocence of charges that he had solicited gay sex in a bathroom stall in the Minneapolis airport after he’d pleaded guilty to those charges.


Vito Fossella (2008): The married former congressman from Staten Island, who had three children with his wife, admitted he’d had a secret affair with a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel — who’d birthed his love child in Virginia — after he was arrested for drunken driving.

We can’t leave out the most recent Republican nominee for President, Captain Underpants. From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

John McCain had a well-documented affair on his first wife, with his current wife. He has admitted in the books he has written about his life that he ran around with several different women while still married to his first wife. And don’t forget that he left her for a younger, richer woman – multi-millionaire Cindy Hensley who is now Cindy McCain – after she had been severely hurt in a car accident.


Remember Ronald Reagan, Nancy Reagan and Ross Perot were so upset with how John McCain dealt with his first wife that they didn’t forgive him for a very, very long time. Perot still hasn’t forgiven him. In fact, he said recently about McCain dumping his first wife for Cindy, “McCain is the classic opportunist. He’s always reaching for attention and glory.”

Oh, irony, how I love thee! From The New York Times, reporting on Kitty Kelley’s Nancy Reagan, the Unauthorized Biography:

[Nancy Reagan’s] movie career never got off the ground, because she did not have star quality, according to a number of directors who worked with her, and she focused on wooing Ronald Reagan.

“The 41-one-year-old actor never asked because at the time he was deeply in love with an actress named Christine Larson who, despite her Wisconsin roots, looked very much like one of those big beautiful Rose Bowl queens that he so favored,” Ms. Kelley writes. “It was Christine Larson, not Nancy Davis, who received Ronald Reagan’s proposal of mariage in 1951, a proposal accompanied by a diamond wristwatch as an engagement present.”

Miss Larson kept the watch but refused the proposal.

Ronald Reagan married Nancy Davis soon after she told him she was pregnant. Mrs. Reagan obliquely acknowledges the out-of-wedlock pregnancy in her memoir, “My Turn,” published in 1989 by Random House.

Ms. Kelley writes that Mr. Reagan continued to see Miss Larson for the first year of his marriage. “In tears, he told her that he felt his life was ruined” because Nancy had “tricked” him into marriage, the book says. Mr. Reagan was with Miss Larson when his daughter Patti was born, Ms. Kelley says.

Mr. Reagan gave up Miss Larson when he came to visit one day and “a French actor opened the door wearing only a bath towel,” Ms. Kelley writes.


The author writes that, for the rest of the marriage, Mr. Reagan “was not known to play around.” One time when he did, however, was in 1968, when Mr. Reagan was in his late 50’s. He met an 18-year-old girl named Patricia Taylor at a party, the book says.

Ms. Taylor told Ms. Kelley that she had had a fight with her boyfriend, and that Mr. Reagan found her by the pool and “wanted to comfort me.”

“One thing led to another,” she said. “He led me back in the house through a doorway that led up to a loft bedroom, and we laid down to make love. He was very gentle and passionate. He was no prude. I didn’t realize he was the Governor then. Being 18, I guess I was more interested in myself, you know? But he was great. Just great.”


Filed under David Vitter, Focus on the Family, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, John McCain, Judith Nathan, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, movies, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Rudy Giuliani, Scandals, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

19 responses to “Scandalapalooza!

  1. Dusty

    Ah yes..a wonderful trip down memory lane Nonnie! 😉

    Didn’t know Ronnie Rayguns played around on ole Nan though…thanks!

    • i didn’t find that out until today, dusty. i had read before than old nan gave the best blowjobs in hollywood. i call her blowjob nancy, a woman a’head’ of her time.

      oh, and jane wyman was still married when st. ronnie was seeing her.

  2. Wonderful little excursion and a great distraction. I am like Dusty, I wasn’t aware that the “great” Ronnie had ever strayed from his Nancy…Never did like the old I am beginning to feel a little closer to him…lol NAH..never happen.

  3. jeb

    Who better to represent values, morals and virtues than those who have none. And of course it extends beyond infidelity with the likes of druggie Rush and Gamblin’ Bill.

    • sorta like asking a priest for marital advice.

      ever see my bill bennett song? i wrote it back when his little gambling problem was disclosed. it’s to the tune of bill bailey, won’t you please come home (but you probably would have been able to figure that out by yourself):

      Won’t you go home, Bill Bennett, won’t you go home?
      You gambled all night long.
      You say it’s okay, cause you don’t bet the rent,
      But, Bill, you’ve got it wrong.

      You wrote “The Book of Virtues,”
      To preach to us; the Right called it a lofty tome!
      Off your pedestal, you fell,
      So, before you condemn the rest of us to Hell,
      Bill Bennett, won’t you please go home?

  4. Why the need for Viagra when a simple membership in the GOP seems to work like a charm?
    I didn’t know that stuff about Ronnie Raygun or Nancy Blow Job–fascinating.
    I’m still stumped about how when Democrats get caught they quit, but the family values cheaters stay in office. I guess Values Voters are as stupid as I thought they were.

    • i think this tells us why viagra is covered by most health insurance plans, but birth control pills aren’t covered by some. those getting their pockets lined with cash by big pharma need the viagra boost, but they don’t really give a shit whether anyone gets knocked up. remember how funny it was when someone asked capt underpants about it during the campaign, and he got so embarrassed, he could barely speak?

  5. Okay, off topic but too good not to share!
    mouse around when you get there
    make sure you run the paper shredder!