Daily Archives: July 9, 2009

The Witless Protection Program

I don’t know about you, kids, but I’m worried sick over Princess Sarah Palin’s future now that she’s told the people of Alaska to go f#¢k themselves stepped down from the governorship of Alaska. It’s been keeping me up nights, and since there’s not a damned thing on TV in the middle of the night other than informercials and commercials for wee-wee extenders, I’ve come up with a plan for her. First, she needs to have one last hurrah amongst her most fervent supporters. They include Bill Kristol (who likes to use parentheses), Elisabeth I’ll Tell You My View as Soon as I Get the Fax Hasselbeck, Rich I Touch Myself Lowry, Rush The Boss Limbaugh, and Greta I Am So Friggin’ in Love with Todd Van Susteren.  Of course, Captain Underpants John McCain will have to show up, because he can’t admit he was wrong in choosing her for his running mate. Once the adulation is over, though, it’s off to the Princess Protection Program!


Original book cover.
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