Finger-lickin’ Bad

From THE MILEHIVE:

Asked what efforts he’s undertaking to include minorities in the Republican Party, Michael Steele, the party’s new chairman, replies, “My plan is to say, ‘Y’all come, because a lot of you are already here.'” He adds laughing, “I got the fried chicken and potato salad, OK.”

Seriously, Steele, the first African American chairman of the national GOP adds, “the goal of this party has been, from its inception, about inclusion.”

Steele made the remarks in Illinois on July 8 to citizen journalist Cameron Cowan, a contributor to MileHive.com, a sister site to dscriber.com.


Original DVD cover.

While they’re chowing down on drumsticks and mayonnaise-drenched taters, Michael Phathead Steele, you can regale them with tales of the modern, inclusive Rethuglican party. For example, that adorable curmudgeon, Uncle Pat Buchanan. From Buchanan.org, March 21, 2008:

[…] America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

…snip…

Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.

Governments, businesses and colleges have engaged in discrimination against white folks — with affirmative action, contract set-asides and quotas — to advance black applicants over white applicants.

Churches, foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all over America have donated time and money to support soup kitchens, adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for blacks.

We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude?

I can read the love between every line! I don’t know if the country can handle so much inclusion!

Let’s remember, though, that Uncle Pat’s not an elected official. Little Jeffy Beauregard Sessions is! I bet he’s oozing with love for his African-American brothers and sisters! From the Atlantic :

There is perhaps no one who knows the cost of “selective empathy” better than Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. It’s the reason his own nomination to the federal court died in the Senate 23 years ago.

Long before the Belizean Grove found its groove, Sessions was on the stand himself, defending his nomination against claims that he practiced a form of “selective empathy” as old as the United States itself: the kind where white men can only find compassion for other white men. Accusations of racial insensitivity and prejudice dominated the 1986 hearings.

At the hearing, witnesses testified that Sessions had referred to the NAACP and the ACLU as “un-American,” called a black assistant U.S. attorney “boy,” and made flattering remarks about the Ku Klux Klan during an investigation about a lynching. Sessions denied the charges that he was racist, said that he was “one of the good guys,” and argued that his comments were made in jest.

Of course it was in jest! You’re hilarious, Little Jeffy Beauregard!

The committee killed his nomination. But it didn’t end there. Sessions went on to become an attorney general in Alabama, where his agenda continued to attract controversy for its racial preoccupations.

In 2002, The New Republic profiled Sessions in a story entitled, “The Senator Who’s Worse Than Trent Lott.” The piece was damning, especially in its telling of Sessions’s failed prosecution of three civil rights workers for voter fraud in Alabama.

“The year before his nomination to federal court, he had unsuccessfully prosecuted three civil rights workers–including Albert Turner, a former aide to Martin Luther King Jr.–on a tenuous case of voter fraud. The three had been working in the ‘Black Belt’ counties of Alabama, which, after years of voting white, had begun to swing toward black candidates as voter registration drives brought in more black voters. Sessions’ focus on these counties to the exclusion of others caused an uproar among civil rights leaders, especially after hours of interrogating black absentee voters produced only 14 allegedly tampered ballots out of more than 1.7 million cast in the state in the 1984 election.”

I bet that was all just in jest, too, Little Jeffy Beauregard! In fact, I bet you want to change the name of your state to Alobama to show how inclusive you really are! Now sit down, and have some well-earned fried chicken and potato salad. Hey, Phathead! How about some motherfuckin’ iced tea over here?

Not only are Rethuglicans super-inclusive when it comes to welcoming minorities to their party, there are some who can’t sleep nights, thinking that some of them might never have been born! From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

Arguing to restrict the public funding of abortions within the District of Columbia, Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kans.) suggested on Thursday afternoon that if such “financial incentives” were available some 47 years ago, President Barack Obama himself may never have been born.

“If you think of it in human terms, there is a financial incentive that will be put in place, paid for by tax dollars, that will encourage women who are — single parents, living below the poverty level, to have the opportunity for a free abortion,” said Tiahrt. “If you take that scenario and apply it to many of the great minds we have today, who would we have been deprived of? Our president grew up in a similar circumstance.”

“If that financial incentive was in place, is it possible that his mother may have taken advantage of it?” Tiahrt asked. “Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice, if those circumstances were in place, is it possible that we would be denied his great mind? The opportunity to have tax-funded abortions, a financial incentive, is something that I think most of us want to oppose in America and it’s certainly deserves a clean up or down vote.”

(video at link)

Oh, Toddy, you put the heart in Tiahrt!

So remember, kids, next time you’re hungry, head on over to Michael Phathead Steele’s House of Chicken N Potato Salad, and order a big bucket of diversity!

20 Comments

Filed under abortion, ACLU, Barack Obama, Christianity, Clarence Thomas, humor, movies, parody, politics, Racism, religion, Republicans, snark, Trent Lott, Wordpress Political Blogs

20 responses to “Finger-lickin’ Bad

  1. That’s probably the only compliment (albeit, backhanded) our President will ever receive from those disgusting re-thugs!

  2. Oooohhhh NOOOOO he did not go there!

    Did he think he was being contemporary by saying fried chickn’ & potato salad…. but just to cover his ass did not mention Collard greens, n’ grits?

    As I read Buchanan’s rant, my head almost exploded.

    Points to highlight:

    • It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

    >>Salvery n’ salvation? Ugh!

    • Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans.

    >>Somebody please tell him lynching people really does not qualify as “uplifting”.

    • Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.

    >>> Social services see no color pal. There are plenty of folks in need regardless of race or creed.
    Wake up!

    Also, the black community only needs help getting into the mainstream because they have been systematically locked out. Poor community/poor schools/poor education/cycle of poverty.

    Governments, businesses and colleges have engaged in discrimination against white folks — with affirmative action, contract set-asides and quotas — to advance black applicants over white applicants.
    >> The GOP only likes “fair & balanced” when the scales are tipping in their favor?

    • Churches, foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all over America have donated time and money to support soup kitchens, adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for blacks.

    >> Yea… I sincerely hope you get to log some time in the government run nursing home for low income people, in a black neighborhood.

    We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude?

    >> Ask the kids who were denied access to a Country Club swimming pool because of the color of their skin.

    I must stop here the KKK affiliations, and the how can we make any topic into the abortion debate is just too over the top for me.

    I’ll close with this thought….
    What if Babbs Bush would have had an abortion & the world did not have George W Bush????

    I’m out!

    • slavery n salvation is going to be uncle pat’s restaurant to complete with steele’s chicken n potato salad.

      pat spews a bunch of crap, and the facts be damned.

      • I really thought that Buchanan was done when Bill Buckley wrote his huge essay on “Anti-Semitism in America” back in the early 90’s. Since it concluded, through methodical study of his comments and writings, that Buchanan did show himself to be anti-Semitic, I thought that would be the end of him.

        I certainly didn’t expect he’d still be around fifteen years later, still spouting this crap.

  3. Here’s are my comments about Pat at the Big Orange from the past week.

    Pat’s overstayed his welcome. He and Joe Scarborough have been useful to have around as anti-Bush people on the Right, but now that Bush is out of office, both of them are showing that they are increasingly out of step with the people around them. Mind you, they may still be useful as foils and as demonstrations that progressives are more fair-minded than authoritarians–uh, I mean conservatives, but I’m beginning to wonder if there are other voices on the Right who would work better for those purposes.

    I really wish him upon any candidate who is foolish enough to take him. Wasn’t the last campaign he was involved with his Reform Party candidacy for President? If I recall correctly, he ended up running the Reform Party right into the ground.

    (In response to another Kossack pointing out that Pat worked for Tancredo’s campaign and asking if that was a failure.)

    Yes! At least for Tancredo, if not for us

    • neon vincent,
      pat’s overstayed his welcome by decades now. i don’t think there’s any use for him or squintborough. there are conservatives out there who are smart and sensible, and don’t have to resort to name-calling and distortions of history in order to make their case. unfortunately, you never see them on tv.

  4. Scary. And amazing that this kind of thinking still exists.

    • see, don? the problem is not just with the g-d damned young people today! 😉

    • This kind of thinking not only exists it is getting louder and more in the open every day. The fact that there is a black man in the White House and he is a Democrat is just killing the rethuglicans… and they will not rest until he is out of there, they really don’t care at this point and time if it is by defeat, impeachment (if they can trump up some charge), or by getting him killed, and if they keep riling up the right wing nut jobs and militia types that is exactly what might happen.

      • it may be getting louder, but only because the 24/7 news channels give these morons a microphone. i think most of the population is getting a bit more mature when it comes to race and gender and sexual preferences. there are pockets of ignorance, and those standing on the soapboxes are targeting those imbeciles.

  5. jeb

    I was watching Rachel Maddow tonight. She highlighted the Tiahrt lunatic comment and asked “Gee, I wonder what Barack Obama and Clarence Thomas have in common that would cause him to wonder about that.”

    She then went on to correct a whole bunch of glaring errors in her debate with Pat Bukkkanhan on her show last week. The most interesting one though was his rant about how unfair affirmative action was and that he’d never been for it. Her research staff dug up a memo he wrote to Nixon in ’72 urging him to set aside a Supreme Court seat (the Jewish one or Black one) for an ethnic Catholic. Seems like he actually was for affirmative action before he was against it.

    Really, why does anyone publish this guy or have him on TV? He’s not even making any attempt to mask his racist views.

    • nonnie9999

      everyone at the big orange is all abuzz over the rachel maddow show tonight. i’m waiting for the rerun which begins in about 40 minutes. i’m glad that she’s debunking the lies he told, but i wish she had all that ammunition when he was on the show. if she can’t outshout him, she should not have had him on in the first place. she could have debunked his nonsense by playing his performance on hardball. while i’m not tweety’s biggest fan, he was very good at shouting over uncle pat. she’s very good at being methodical and careful, but not at shouting people down when they’re being assholes.

  6. Fried chicken and potato salad?
    Poor Uncle Tom Steele is so lame, he forgot to say fried chicken and waffles, or maybe fried chicken and watermelon.
    His offer is like John Cornyn (R-TX) offering Latino voters free beans and tortillas for their votes.
    I’ve created a list for Michael Steele to lure other groups to the GOP Big Tent:
    For gay men: Free lube and hair gel
    For lesbians: Free tire gauges and plaid flannel shirts
    For Asians: Free rice and chopsticks
    For Feminists: Free Carmex and menstrual sponges
    For Islamics: Free American flag/smiley face T-shirts
    For Jews: Free gefilte fish and marbled rye

  7. Wait … Sessions’ middle name is Beauregard? Isn’t that FRENCH? How can he even show his face around the GOP?

    I guess the history of flagrant racism helps him get by, right?

    I still think that Steele is an undercover agent for the Whigs, or else he’s really a white guy in blackface. Everything I’ve seen from him trying to reach out to African-Americans has been playing to a stereotype. Since a lot of these high-level GOP officials don’t actually know any African-Americans in real life, they don’t notice what a fool he’s making of them.

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