Don’t let the door hit you in the Bridge to Nowhere on your way out!

From The New York Times:

Up here in Alaska, wildlife metaphors tend to be as abundant as their flesh-and-blood counterparts, and Gov. Sarah Palin has helped herself to them generously in explaining why she’s stepping down today, barely halfway through her term.

She didn’t want the state to be stuck with a “lame duck” chief executive, she said. She could hang around the Statehouse and go with the flow, she allowed, but “only dead fish go with the flow.”

Palin’s departure — she’s officially handing over power to Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell at a community picnic in Fairbanks — has left many Alaskans largely confused.

Some are confused, but there are others who are scared shitless that she’ll have plenty of free time now!

Original DVD cover

And state legislators are scrambling to convene a special session to recover $28.6 million in federal energy funds that Palin rejected as one of her parting salutes to independence from Washington.

Only a year ago she was Alaska’s youngest-ever governor, riding a nearly unprecedented wave of popularity. But Palin has weathered stinging criticism across the state since her July 3 resignation announcement.


Supporters are struggling to improve on Palin’s explanations: frustration over unfounded ethics complaints and a desire to “effect change” from outside government were among those she cited in her somewhat disjointed announcement — along with the desire not to be a lame duck or dead fish. Critics see her early departure as a bid to marshal money and connections for a run for higher office.


That ambition, suggested one of Palin’s allies, made her a target in Alaska after her failed 2008 vice presidential bid, especially among those who opposed the governor’s moves to increase oil production taxes and champion a gas pipeline independent of two of the North Slope’s major producers.


The governor has had an unhappy reunion with the Alaska Legislature since her return from the campaign trail in November.

Her nominee for attorney general, National Rifle Assn. board member Wayne Anthony Ross, in April became the first in state history to be rejected by the Legislature. And lawmakers complained that Palin was making national trips — addressing an antiabortion group in Indiana in April, flying to New York to commemorate Alaska’s 50th year of statehood in June — while showing little enthusiasm for state business.

Commemorating Alaska’s anniversary in elitist New York? Isn’t that like celebrating your birthday with someone else’s cake?

Legislators on both sides of the aisle were outraged when Palin threatened to veto about a third of the $900 million in federal stimulus money offered to Alaska. She wound up backing down, but declined $28.6 million offered for energy conservation and weatherization.

Palin said that taking the money would require Alaskan communities that never have wanted building codes to adopt them. Republican state Rep. Mike Hawker countered that most mortgage lenders already required the kind of energy standard sought in the federal stimulus package.


“I found her very disengaged from the entire [legislative] process,” Hawker said. “Clearly, she just did not seem to have any interest in the daily business of government. It’s kind of like that World War I ditty: ‘How do you get ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen the lights of gay Paris?’ “


Filed under 2008 election, abortion, Alaska, humor, movies, NRA, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

30 responses to “Don’t let the door hit you in the Bridge to Nowhere on your way out!

  1. Exactly who was she supposedly commemorating with in NY? Who in NY gives a “you know what” about Alaska turning 50?

    • last week, i was watching ace of cakes on food network, and they made a cake for alaska’s 50th anniversary. the guy who owns the bakery (which is in baltimore), duff, flew to alaska to take in all its glories so that he could incorporate all his alaskan adventures into the cake. he flew back to baltimore, and i thought it rather strange that he didn’t just make the cake in alaska. when the cake was done, he drove it up to new york. i was even more confused. it seems that alaska has offices in nyc for some reason. maybe that’s where all the lobbyists bring their baskets of money. so, anyway, i figured that they were having a party for the people who are from alaska who work in that office. now, i find out that that’s where the party was! i don’t get it. πŸ˜•

      • Just an excuse for their politicians (governor & whoever else) to take a Big Apple vacation.

        • it didn’t appear that princess needed any excuses to travel. she just grabbed the kids, picked out the best hotels, and charged it all to the state. i still think the nyc office is where the lobbyists bring the money.

  2. It was the home of Seward.. the guy who was Sec of State or something when Alaska was bought.. That’s where they were…

    Doesn’t make much sense to me.. but that just shows that she hasn’t been and isn’t much connected to Alaska anymore.. She is such a loser and a quitter and people just have to remember that..if she ever runs for any other office and bring it up over and over again.

    • i remember when she was visiting the home of seward, but where they delivered the cake was definitely not the same place. it was nyc.

      people need to be constantly reminded that she quit who-knows-how-many colleges, and she quit her job on the state energy board, and now she quit the governorship. i don’t think she’s going to run for office again. i think she’ll travel around to see her adoring fans and collect lots of money for herself and for the rethugs. hopefully, she’ll have a falling out with the gop so she won’t want to funnel money to them.

    • jeb

      William Seward was a Senator from New York and was appointed Secretary of State by Abraham Lincoln. He stayed on and served under Andrew Johnson. He negotiated the purchase of Alaska from Russia. At the time that action faced a lot of political opposition and became known as Seward’s Folly. Of course it’s value later went up when gold and oil were discovered there and as a strategic bulwark against the Soviet Union in the Cold War.

  3. jeb

    She’s quickly turning herself into one of the most reprehensible pols in the country. I usually can’t stand most Rethug pols but I’m really aghast at the idea that someone would run for public office and then quit for no apparent reason other than a lack of interest or their own self-aggrandizement. I understood her willingness to leave office for the VP slot. Moving up is a normal part of politics. I could understand (and heartily endorse Sanford or Ensign resigning) but her resignation is one of the most despicable things I’ve ever witnessed. I would say it confirms all of the bad things I believed about her in the campaign but actually, I didn’t think that even she was this low.

    Goodbye and good riddance. Exit stage left. No one gives a shit about you anymore you worthless quitter.

    • jeb

      And also, if I were Alaskan, I’d petition the State to recoup all of her salary that she didn’t earn and to ensure that she gets no benefits for her service. Quitter!

      • i think that’s an excellent idea! i agree with you, quitting just because everyone is so mean to poor little princess sarah is no excuse for quitting. she’s shown that she has no integrity whatsoever. however, there are a lot of stupid people who will hand lots of money over to the moron.

  4. I did hear today that her approval among GOPeeps is down to about 30 %. From what we’ve seen she doesn’t appear to have any innate ability to drive it back up to where it was. The more America sees of her the better because her cheerleader bitchiness and stupidity cannot be contained. The girl just has to be herself and what worse curse could you put on a person ?

    • i don’t think she’ll run for office again. however, she’ll still appeal to the fundie right, barring a sex scandal, and she’ll rake in lots of moolah. the rethugs will use her behind the scenes in closed events where she can’t embarrass them. that said, i still think she’ll manage to publicly put her foot in her mouth. her idiot acolytes will still follow her and bewail the nasty old press who victimizes poor princess sarah.

  5. “Acadummy Award Winner Sarah Palin …” is v. funny πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

  6. I always prefered Natasha to Mooselini. So, does that mean Putin gets to be Boris, or Fearless Leader?

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  8. Well I’ve lost all respect for the frickin’ Acadummy.
    Wake TF up, dummies! She’s NOT ACTING!

  9. Here’s Palin’s cake recipe

    1. Open a box of Duncan Hines
    2. Dump in bowl
    3. Get an egg out of refrigerator
    4. Quit.

  10. Oh, Sarah! We hardly knew thee. I wish it would remain that way. (sigh)

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