Millions of pets’ ears won’t be bleeding

From Daily Finance:

First she got a big fat book deal. Then she was supposedly being courted for TV stardom. Now Sarah Palin could be taking into the airwaves in a different form, as the host of her own radio talk show. “[S]ources say Palin representatives have been quietly testing the waters to see how much interest radio syndicators have for her,” reports Inside Radio.


Original DVD cover

Imagine Princess’s ear-piercing shriek wafting across the airwaves along with the dulcet and psychotic tones of Rushbo, Beck, Hewitt, Gordo, and Weiner Savage!

This is, not to put too fine a point on it, a stupid idea. And it’s not just that Palin’s media-bashing would sit uncomfortably with a career in broadcasting; Rush Limbaugh has managed to make a go of it, even though his 30 million listeners (or however many it really is) make him, by any reasonable measure, a part of the mainstream media he ostensibly loathes.

No, the real problem is that Palin’s talents, such as they are, don’t extend to talking, as anyone who watched her hilarious/excruciating resignation speech or her career-killing interviews with Katie Couric can attest. […] Her voice is harsh, her accent jarring — the opposite of the honeyed mellifluousness that radio listeners gravitate towards.

…snip…

It’s no accident that most of the top conservative radio and TV hosts, from Limbaugh to Glenn Beck to Bill O’Reilly, started out as broadcastsers, not politicos. Limbaugh was a top-40 DJ; so was Beck. On the other end of the political spectrum, Keith Olbermann was a sportscaster, and Rachel Maddow co-hosted a morning show. Radio listeners want someone who agrees with their politics, but they need someone who is, above all, a masterful talker and entertainer, capable of constructing a pleasurable, cosy aural environment. Palin can’t do that.

So how’s that radio deal going for ya, Princess?

From Broadcasting & Cable:

Inside Radio reported yesterday that a new career choice for Sarah Palin, the now former governor of Alaska and Republican lightning rod, might be a nationally syndicated radio show.

…snip…

Don’t think so. While you might assume Palin would be a better fit for conservative radio than the less partisan world of syndicated broadcast TV, my sources say the country’s biggest radio conglomerate, Clear Channel, has already passed on her.

The main objection to Palin as radio talk-show host is that she would have to hold forth for three hours a day. While some of her recent remarks may indicate a talent for improvisation, anyone who’s listened to Rush Limbaugh or Thom Hartmann or Don Imus or Howard Stern or even Ryan Seacrest knows it’s the rare personality who can blab extemporaneously for 15 hours a week. And relying on callers to get you through won’t help, because as we’ve all experienced, callers-in are usually more embarrassing than compelling.

Inside Radio also gleefully points out the irony of these rumors, since Palin’s disdain for the media is clear. As she admonished reporters in her departure speech: “Quit making things up.”

Here are some of the “talents” that Princess won’t be joining at Clear Channel (from wikipedia):

News talk stations owned by Clear Channel usually have a standard slate of hosts. The morning show is usually local, with other timeslots filled by local and syndicated hosts. Programs that appear on many Clear Channel talk stations include Glenn Beck Program — getting his talk show start at Clear Channel owned WFLA (AM) in Tampa, The Rush Limbaugh Show, The Sean Hannity Show, Dr. Laura, and Coast to Coast AM, all of which are affiliated with Premiere Radio Networks in some fashion. The Savage Nation, The Mark Levin Show and Dave Ramsey are non-Premiere shows that air on many (if not most) Clear Channel stations. Limbaugh is almost universally carried on Clear Channel stations in markets where the company has a news talk station, with the exception of markets such as Washington, DC and San Francisco, CA, where ABC Radio (which previously was Limbaugh’s home network) has a news talk station in the market.

chazerei: Pronunciation: (khä”zu-rī’; Eng. hä”zu-rī’),
—n. Yiddish.
anything of little value; junk; garbage. Also,chaz”ze•rei’,chozerei.

30 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Alaska, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Hugh Hewitt, humor, Katie Couric, Media, movies, parody, politics, radio, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

30 responses to “Millions of pets’ ears won’t be bleeding

  1. If Clear Channel has passed, her options are limited. RushBo’s whore owner, EB, could hire her however.

    During The Shrub’s administration, Clear Channel got bigger and more powerful. Big..cough..contributor.

    I love this line from you: but they need someone who is, above all, a masterful talker and entertainer, capable of constructing a pleasurable, cosy aural environment. Palin can’t do that. The whole thing is about that..she can’t make sense for any length of time..even five fucking minutes. 😉

    • i don’t think anyone in radio will want her. in fact, i think the bloom is off the rose, and this is the beginning of the end for princess. she’ll be nothing but tabloid fodder. i don’t think she’ll even be very useful as a rethug fundraiser. stick a fork in her. she’s done.

  2. I really can’t imagine any sensible radio network wanting her. Between the shrillness of her voice, like fingernails on chalkboard, I think, to her nonsense like words and rhythm, I can’t believe she would have much of a following. Even her loyal minions would tire of her very soon.

    The thought of her talking for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week is nearly impossible.. the best she could hope for is to maybe get a spot on the Dobson Network doing Bible study or something or maybe filling in for Huckabee when he takes off since he has taken over for Paul Harvey… Those would be scripted and shorter spots and she might be able to handle that.

    • i agree, annette. she can’t sustain a radio show, and the only way she’d be able to last through a tv show is if she had a co-host. of course, we know she’s too narcissistic for that, so i suspect we won’t be seeing too much of princess.

    • Annette, I think she has little value too, but RushBo is the highest paid talk jock in radio and I really think his group would love the shit outta ole Bible Spice.

      The Dobson freaks would love her as well..think of it as a daily sermon…. 😉

      Yeah I know..sick.

      • dusty,
        as much as i despise rushbo, he’s smart enough to twist things so that they look the way he wants them to, at least to his idiotic listeners. princess, on the other hand, is not smart enough. she can read speeches written for her, but she can’t think for herself. even her most ardent supporters will get bored with her quickly.

  3. Jenn/jlms qkw

    the quality of her voice. heh.

    or lack thereof.

    you have such nice yiddish words!

  4. jeb

    I hope she does get a three hour a day radio show. Look when she finds out how tough it is, it’s not like she’ll just quit or anything, right?

    I’m all for keeping the joke that is Palin running until it is so utterly exhausted that we don’t have to see or here from here again except as one of those “where are they now” pieces.

    • who knows if she’ll ever take another job. after all, she’ll have plenty of money to live on with her book deal. then again, she’s not very bright, and she may piss it all away. if she does get a job, the internets will be all atwitter with the bookies taking bets on the date she’ll be quitting.

  5. She’s better off on TV. The fools will look at her, drool, and not listen. Besides, she actually has experience as a TV sportscaster.

  6. I was really hoping The Celebrity Formerly Known As Governor would get a chance to show the world just how stupid, inane, bland, uninteresting and truly incompetent she is. (sigh)

    • she doesn’t need a show for that. she’ll show up in the tabloids, and her little elves will send out one of her inane rebuttals. the stoopid will still be there for all to see. in the meantime, let’s hope that levi gets a good modeling or acting job. that’ll piss her off and force her to come out of hiding to say something moronic. 🙄

  7. radio is dead… and dying even more –
    if one looks at radio ratings all you see is this huge downward trend – and it is not slowing

    plus economic times are killing the adviertisng biz (i know, it affects me personally)

    even radio rushbo has lower ratings – clear channel for all their insanity — doesnt want to guarantee millions of dollars to someone like sarah — and then not be able to make it up with advertising revenue

    sarah would be a flash in the pan on radio or tv – a curiosity for about 3 weeks and then nothing – no one, not even the rightwing nuts, could sustain listening to her or watching her over a long period

    clear channel knows this

    • clear channel already declared bankruptcy. they aren’t going to throw any money on someone who has a long history of quitting.

    • All of Palin’s cornpone, folksy crap and that droppin’ the g on ing words n’ stuff would get mighty tedious after about two days on the air.
      Her whole schtick is about hating the media and blaming them for her own shortcomings. Beyond that she’s got nothing to say.
      Her guests would all have to be in complete agreement with her, so any show she’d have would end up being an ignoramus circle jerk that only the most ignorant people would appreciate.
      Methinks her audience would lack the education and/or sophistication to be valuable consumers, so WalMart and NASCAR would have to make up for other ad sponsors.
      I wish Clear Channel *would* spend the money to give that hick a radio or TV show so we could watch her burn out and quit before they fired her.
      And I hope it’s a radio show, so she can’t rely on her fading looks and all that winking bullshit.

  8. The name of her show should be more like a game show along the lines of: “Say What?” or “What She Say?” or “Guess That Meaning” or “Who can Top the Longest Sentence?”

  9. Palin’s main appeal to men who don’t care about politics is her ass which can’t be seen on a radio, That shrill, nasally infarcted lobster boat horn of a voice of hers though will likely have the reverse effect that her GILFY appearance has with listeners. She’d be best on camera taking direction from Steve McQueen who advised as few spoken lines as possible. Either way I look forward to whatever form of Hindenberg of a medium she chooses cause it’s going to be another colossal bust. The more exposure she gets the more vile her persona reveals itself to be.

    • she’s too lazy to learn anything, so no matter what she does, she’ll do it badly and then quit. maybe she’ll realize that her time has come and gone, and she’ll become a stage mother instead. bristol is a lost cause, so now it’s up to willow or piper. i don’t think princess wants anything to do with the baby. she just makes sure he’s in all the photo ops.

  10. The thing Palin has going for her is the Ex beauty Queen thing– winking, blinking, etc…. and if they can give her a script she can read. She cleans up nicely in spendy clothes.

    So if she can’t visually strut her stuff…. she may be dead in the water.

    Thing is with TeeVee, non of it is live anymore either…. they would have the advantage of editing out her f-ups & make her look shiny-n-smart.
    (Ugh, did I really just say that???)

    I could totally see her as co anchor w Pat Robertson on the 500 club, but not shootin’ the shit with Limbaugh… he’s not righteously KKKhristian enough.

    I’m guessing she’s going to run with the religious card.

    • the ex-beauty queen thing only gets you so far. there are prettier and younger women on tv, so she wouldn’t last long there either. i don’t know if she’d want to be on religious tv. she loves the adoration of the males in the audience, and those watching the 700 club would feel too guilty drooling each time she crossed her legs.

      • Ha! I inadvertently downrated the 700 club to the 500 club.
        Freudian slip?

        Hey if Ms P. has an $11 million dollar book deal, she does not even have to work.
        She can hole up in Montana like the Unibomber & write a manifesto.

        Some right wing Montana rancher will snap her up- she’s good with a gun & can be in charge of predator patrol.

        • i didn’t even notice that the club was marked down! 😆 that’s because i won’t ever be a customer.

          if she has a multi-million dollar book deal, then, if she had any class and if she meant even 1/100th of a percent of anything she said, she would work as an advocate for kids with downs syndrome or autism. i won’t hold my breath. she doesn’t give a shit about her own kids, so why would she care about anyone else’s?

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