Now for a little Levi-ty

From the Los Angeles Times:

If former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin thought John McCain’s staffers stabbed her in the back when they tried to blame her for his loss last November, one can only imagine what she thinks these days about Levi Johnston, the father of her grandchild.

Johnston, who is weighing the many “celebrity” career options now coming his way thanks to the meteoric rise of his former mother-out-of-law, is in sharper-than-a serpent’s-tooth mode in the October issue of Vanity Fair, where he — how to put this delicately? — rips Palin a new one for what he perceives as her personal failings.

Original DVD cover

In “Me and Mrs. Palin,” Johnston’s first-person account accuses Palin of being a bad mother, of being a bad wife, of not knowing how to shoot a gun, and even — get this! — of not even being a real hockey mom! (She only attended 15% of her son’s games, says Johnston, who was his teammate.)

In short, he accuses Palin of being an all-around phony.


[…] 19-year-old Johnston’s perceptions should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, he did live with Alaska’s first family, and was privy to deeply private incidents and attitudes. And the details of what went on inside this apparently dysfunctional American family are juicy.

The Palins frequently fought, says Johnston, and Todd, who sneaked beer in the garage because Sarah didn’t like him drinking, regularly threatened divorce.

Palin, he says, paid more attention to Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, than she did to her own baby, Trig, who was born with Down syndrome and became a symbol of hope for parents of special-needs children during the campaign. Says Johnston: “I couldn’t believe it when she would come over to us and sometimes say, playing around, ‘No, I don’t want the retarded baby — I want the other one’ and pick up Tripp. That was just her, even her kids were used to it.”

Attempts to reach Palin’s spokewoman were unsuccessful.

[…] we did enjoy his portrait of Sarah Palin as a busy governor:

“Throughout the years I spent with them, when Sarah got home from her office — almost never later than 5 and sometimes as early as noon — she usually walked in the door, said hello, and then disappeared into her bedroom, where she would hang out. Sometimes, she’d take an hourlong bath. Other times she sat on the living-room couch in her two-piece pajama set from Walmart — she had all the colors — with her hair down, watching house shows and wedding shows on TV. She always wanted things and she always wanted other people to get them for her. If she wanted a movie, Bristol and I would go to the video store; if she wanted food, we’d get her something to eat, like a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell. She’d try to bribe everyone in the house, or give us guilt trips.”


Three days after Sarah Palin was announced as the Republican vice-presidential candidate, the McCain campaign released a statement saying that her 17-year-old unwed daughter, Bristol, was pregnant. The baby’s father, an 18-year-old former hometown hockey star, was thus thrust into the national spotlight. In the October issue of Vanity Fair, Levi Johnston explains what happened behind the curtains of the campaign—and inside the Palin home.


He turns a number of commonly held beliefs about the former governor—the purportedly loving mother, devoted wife, and prolific hunter—upside down.

The Palin house was much different from what many people expect of a normal family, even before she was nominated for vice president. There wasn’t much parenting in that house. Sarah doesn’t cook, Todd doesn’t cook—the kids would do it all themselves: cook, clean, do the laundry, and get ready for school. Most of the time Bristol would help her youngest sister with her homework, and I’d barbecue chicken or steak on the grill.

Even before Palin became John McCain’s running mate, she seemed worried about what a grandchild would do to her political career. According to Johnston, she had a plan for how to handle her daughter’s unexpected pregnancy.

Sarah told me she had a great idea: we would keep it a secret—nobody would know that Bristol was pregnant. She told me that once Bristol had the baby she and Todd would adopt him. […]

After the campaign, Johnston watched Palin turn into a different person. The result back home in Alaska was a woman ready to turn in elected office for money.

Sarah was sad for a while. She walked around the house pouting. I had assumed she was going to go back to her job as governor, but a week or two after she got back she started talking about how nice it would be to quit and write a book or do a show and make “triple the money.” It was, to her, “not as hard.” She would blatantly say, “I want to just take this money and quit being governor.” […]

From THE Reliable Source at The Washingon Post:

“She says she goes hunting and lives off animal meat — I’ve never seen it. I’ve never seen her touch a fishing pole. She had a gun in her bedroom and one day she asked me to show her how to shoot it. I asked her what kind of gun it was, and she said she didn’t know, because it was in a box under her bed.”– Levi Johnston


Filed under 2008 election, Alaska, Guns, humor, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Scandals, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

44 responses to “Now for a little Levi-ty

  1. Why does everyone doubt Levi? So far everything he has said has proven true…lol Yet everything Caribou Barbie has told has been a lie…She is nothing but a quitter, a liar and it was seen on the trail last year what a terrible mother she was.. she used her children constantly as props only.

    I have heard people all day long say over and over, why do we give him any credence and why do we give him any platform, yet every gossip show and every magazine is scrambling to interview him… then they try to discredit him and can’t because his stories all prove to be true, while she is nothing but a liar and it all ends up telling on her in the end…lol

    • i believe him. he’s too dumb to make up these stories and then remember them all. he could make just as much or even more money if he went around touting princess sarah as the perfect mother, grandmother, governor, and candidate. the crazies on the right would eat that up and pay him plenty to say it.

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  3. “She says she goes hunting and lives off animal meat — I’ve never seen it. I’ve never seen her touch a fishing pole. She had a gun in her bedroom and one day she asked me to show her how to shoot it. I asked her what kind of gun it was, and she said she didn’t know, because it was in a box under her bed.”

    LMAO! This passage gives new meaning to “that dog don’t hunt.”

    • i would say that she has been hoisted upon her own petard, but the petard is probably under the bed with her gun.

      by the way, with weapons under the bed, i wonder if toddy sleeps with one eye open.

      • writechic

        And she probably doesn’t even know what “petard” means. Fancy talk. 😉

        • hey wcp!
          long time, no see!

          i’m sure she doesn’t know what petard means, and i wouldn’t be surprised if i hear from her lawyer to say that she’s suing me for slandering her youngest child. of course, i would never do so. it’s bad enough his mother does.

    • Dusty

      Neon Vincenzo~This passage gives new meaning to “that dog don’t hunt.” You speak da truth, and make me howl in the process. 😉

      Nonnie..congrats on making Crooks and Liars front page chica!

  4. Ooooh- pissing off the (sort of) Ex Mother-in-law.

    I for one would not challenge Sarah’s ability to shoot a gun, least she come practicing too close for comfort.

    Besides this tell all crap, doesn’t he need to graduate from high school & go change a diaper for his infant son??? He did drop out of high school…. jeez!

    I’ve had about enough of the Wasilla Hillbilly pseudo trailer trash soap opera.

    • he’s still a kid. geez, he’s only 19 years old. he got thrown onto the national stage, and he didn’t look too thrilled about it. afterward, princess sarah trashed him, and he had every right to lash back. if some doors opened for him, i’m okay with that. he’ll make more money in a few months in hollywood than he would in years in wasilla. hopefully, he has someone with his best interests in mind (what are the chances?) who will make sure he spends his money wisely, including providing for his baby. in the meantime, he’s making a fool of his former future mother-in-law, and i’m just fine with that, too. 🙂

  5. Gup

    Palin is a shadowy reflection of her public persona. The United States took a sad dive into the shallow river with this woman.

  6. Thought you might get a kick out of this…

    In the dark of an Alaskan night
    In the land of the midnight sun
    When America almost died
    And we trembled of her run

    When a crazy woman named Sarah
    Tried to take this country by terror
    and she used McCain as pawn
    With the forces of the neocon

    I heard our country cry
    I heard her weep the night we almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes indeed

    I heard our country cry
    I heard us weep the night she almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes, siree

    And the noise of her mouth rang
    Through the streets of the countryside
    ‘Til the last of the hooligan gang
    Gave in to the winning side

    There was confusion in the towns
    And the sound of screaming clowns
    And I asked someone who said
    This country might be dead

    I heard our country cry
    I heard us pray the night she almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes indeed

    I heard our country cry
    I heard us weep the night she almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes, siree

    Then grave silence began to mount
    As we waited upon the count
    Then the t.v. was turned up inside
    And numbers stood up high
    And we kissed each other’s face
    And we wiped our fears away

    The night America almost died
    The night America almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes, siree

    The night America almost died
    The night America almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    Yes indeed

    The night America almost died
    The night America almost died
    Oh what a night we truly had
    Oh what a fright we truly had
    You betcha…

    © 2009 mrp/thepoetryman

    • hello poetryman,
      welcome to the raisin! 😀

      thank for the poem. i’ve been reading over at your site. very nice. i have some poetry sprinkled about the raisin here and there, but nothing as eloquent as yours. mine is a bit less..what word shall i use?…refined. 😆 for example, some xmas cards here, here, and here. 😉

  7. GO LEVI! Is he from out of the Bible?

  8. Hey Levi, you dopey douche bucket. Your 15 minutes ended 9 months ago so have a big glass of STFU.

    How dare you sully the good name of Sarah “the next POTUS and PILF” Palin. I hope she goes all maverick on you and stomps you into dust with her sexy as hell red pumps. (Oops….something is happening in my pants again).

  9. Nonnie9999,
    The pleasure is all mine. I really like your blog. It is colorful (photomontage/political movie poster), it is smart and it is funny. What more can I say, until I’ve had the time to venture deeper into your madness.


    • you are very sweet, poetryman. please call me nonnie. no need for formalities here.

      so very happy that you like the madness here. the news always seems so dire, so we all need a little chuckle once in a while to make it all palatable.

      just one other thing, poetryman. under each comment, reply appears in blue. if you click on that, you can answer individual comments directly.

      peace to you, too. so very glad to have you here. 🙂

  10. I’m sure you noticed but the poem above is a parody of “The Night Chicago Died” by the one or two songs more than a one hit wonder Paper Lace. I was just having a bit of fun and destroying a classic to vent my frustrations at the Palin machine still chugging along despite her empty rhetoric.

    • oooh! i loved that song. i didn’t realize that it was a parody, and i went back and just sung it. you’re a man after my own heart. the regulars here know that i love to write song parodies. you’ll find quite a few here. i still don’t know how to isolate things using tags here, but if you check the music parody tag at wordpress, you’ll see that almost all of them are mine. there are 3 pages of them (i didn’t realize there were so many). click here if you’d like to look at any of them. maybe we can collaborate on one someday! 🙂

  11. Thanks for the links to your xmas card series. I think you should make a whole series of cards and sell them this year… If you don’t…I might. ;>)

  12. The Hatfield’s and The McCoys do Alaska!! 🙂

  13. I thought you might get a kick out of it.


  14. The way I see it, Levi has made no bones about being in it for the money. That kind of honestly already puts him ahead of his quitter baby grandma.
    And I can believe all he’s said about her- a self indulgent, spoiled, lazy ass who defines Nascissistic Personality Disorder.
    I just hope with all the money she’s raking in, she sets aside a good chunk for her kids’ therapy sessions–they’re gonna need it.

    • i agree. the kid is not the sharpest crayon in the box, and he couldn’t keep his stories consistent if they weren’t true. he’s said from the beginning that he needs money to take care of his kid. if posing for a few pictures is what it takes, then i don’t blame him for going for the easy buck.

      • Nonnie,

        Levi learned the art of “posing” from his would be mother-in-law.

        • i feel sorry for the kid. i don’t think he had a lot of parental guidance at home, and i’m sure he didn’t get any over at the palin household. he just wanted to learn to be an electrician, and he got pulled into the national spotlight. he never looked comfortable. he wouldn’t be the worst person to make a buck from being undeservedly and unintentionally famous.

          • Oh. I didn’t mean that in anyway against Levi. I meant it as being a poser is Palin’s specialty. She poses as whatever the political winds wave before her greedy eyes. As for Levi, well he doesn’t appear to be dumb or doing anything the rest of us might do. After all, we all have the potential to be just like those we think are the worst of humankind and those we think are the best of humankind. Kahlil Gibran, of course, says it better in The Prophet, eh?