The Orly Bird Catches the Worm…I mean, a Fine

From npr:

Federal District Judge Clay D. Land [appointed by George W. Bush] has slapped top birther Orly Taitz with a $20,000 fine for wasting the court’s time, among other issues, with her constant filings after he, last month, dismissed her lawsuit against President Obama’s right as commander-in-chief to deploy the military because he allegedly isn’t legally president.

Because he didn’t get rid of her the first time, he’s hoping she gets the message this time from the barbed language in the 43-page order he issued Tuesday.

Original DVD cover

Right off the bat, on page 1 he writes:

For justice to be administered efficiently and justly, lawyers must understand the conditions that govern their privilege to practice law. Lawyers who do not understand those conditions are at best woefully unprepared to practice the profession and at worst a menace to it…


Among Taitz’s missteps, she accused the judge of treason. That never works out well.

While it’s clear the judge was greatly annoyed by Taitz, it seems like some part of him must have derived satisfaction from smacking her down. The order has real verve to it, with the judge sometimes resorting to biting sarcasm to make many a point that will no doubt be lost on Taitz.

An example from page 27:

Although counsel’s present concern is the location of the President’s birth, it does not take much imagination to extend the theory to his birthday. Perhaps, he looks “too young” to be President, and he says he stopped counting birthdays when he reached age thirty. If he refused to admit publicly that he is older than the constitutional minimum age of thirty-five, should Ms. Taitz be allowed to file a lawsuit and have a court order him to produce his birth certificate? … Or perhaps an eccentric citizen has become convinced that the President is an alien from Mars, and the courts should order DNA testing to enforce the Constitution. Or, more to the point, perhaps the Court should issue a nationwide injunction that prevents the U.S. Army from sending any soldier to Iraq or Afghanistan or anywhere else until Ms. Taitz is permitted to depose the President in the Oval Office. The federal courts were not established to resolve such purely political disputes or to assist in the pursuit of a political fishing expedition, particularly when that intrusion would interfere with the ability of the U.S. Army to do its job.

Taitz has 30 days from Tuesday to pay the fine. “If counsel fails to pay the sanction due, the U.S. Attorney will be authorized to commence collection proceedings,” the judge writes.

(See Judge Land’s entire order at the link above)


Filed under Barack Obama, Chimpy, Constitution, George W. Bush, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

33 responses to “The Orly Bird Catches the Worm…I mean, a Fine

  1. Applauds Federal District Judge Clay D. Land.
    Clap clap clap……..
    Stop wasting our time!

    Tune in 30 days from now, to see if Orly joins a chain gang, of puts her money where the judge ordered it to be.

  2. Sadly, hard-core birthers will just charge that this is further proof of corruption.

    It turns out, of course, that just about everyone in the world is corrupt except the birthers.

    Have you see “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”? The best line, I’m afraid, is in the opening sequence when a young Indy is separated from his Boy Scout troop on a hike. When he rushes out calling them, he looks around and declares, “Everyone’s lost but me!”

    The truth, of course, is just the opposite.

    “The federal courts were not established to resolve such purely political disputes or to assist in the pursuit of a political fishing expedition”

    Perhaps, maybe, this can bring the sad, stupid chapter of history to a close?

    • when orly and her buddies don’t like the facts, they change them. they will always be victims, and everyone else will always be liars. no proof will ever be good enough for them.

      β€œEveryone’s lost but me!” perfect, wickle! πŸ˜€

  3. jeb

    She accused the judge of treason? Oh yeah, that’s a great legal strategy.

    I love what the judge wrote and it probably is completely lost on her. Everything else is.

    • a brilliant strategerist, isn’t she? accuse the judge of treason and then believe things will end well. she’s a perpetual victim of every modern conspiracy. how long before the rethugs have her run for congress?

  4. Love the cover, especially the “Directed by The Voices in Her Head” part.

    You know, there was a time when people this crazy would have been carted off in straight jackets by men in white. Just how delusional do you have to be, to call the judge a traitor and expect a good outcome.

    You know what the definition of insanity is? It’s doing the same thing over and over again (such as filing the same complaint repeatedly) and expecting a different outcome.

    Just remember, you can’t reason with crazy. Don’t waste your time.

  5. I can’t compete with the people on JournalFen.

    My favorite? “All in favor of sending Judge Land a big package of cookies?”

    • what makes it so hilarious is that judge land was appointed by chimpy and is right in the heart of dixie, georgia! she couldn’t have chosen a place with better odds, and she still got spanked. πŸ˜†

  6. What can you expect from a person with such a name! πŸ˜‰

  7. KarenZipdrive

    I think Keith Olbermann got it right when he kept referring to her as Orly Taint.

    • oily taint might be more descriptive. did you see the interview with joy behar?

      she thinks she’s some kind of glamor girl. watch her mugging for the camera. she’s like a cross between zsa zsa and tammy faye baker.

      • *blink* *blink*

        Wait. This is the first time I’ve heard this idiot speak. Is SHE here legally? Where the hell is she from? Quick, someone call ICE so they can check her papers. LMFAO. Her accent, it makes all of this even more ironic. She can take her dumbass back to wherever she came from for all I care. It is true. Stupidity knows know national boundaries.

        Ho boy. What part of “his mother was born in Kansas and was an American citizen, therefore he is an American citizen” do these morons not understand? WTH.

        He could have been born in Timbuktu, and it DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER, because his mother was an American citizen. Period, and that *should* have been the end of the fucking discussion (hello $20k fine LOL). You see, that’s how our laws work. Only one parent must be a citizen, and their children are citizens by default, and it doesn’t matter where they were born. She is wrong about the law. But reason, common sense, etc. are just lacking here.

        Oh, and one more thing. Obama traveled outside of the country before he ran for President. That means he had a passport, which means that a certified copy of his birth certificate was sent to the New Orleans Passport Agency, and they accepted it as genuine, and issued him a passport. But, then again, I have mad critical thinking skillz. Too bad these idiots don’t.

        • she’s a piece of work, isn’t she? i hope to hell that someone finds out that she entered the country illegally and has her deported. that would be soooo sweet.

          his mother had a passport, too, so if she had traveled out of the county right before she gave birth, it would be on record. does anyone really believe that chimpy’s state department wouldn’t have checked their records when this nonsense started during the campaign? πŸ™„

        • She’s from what used to be the USSR (and is now Moldova) by way of Israel. Because of that history, the tinfoil hat brigade think she’s a foreign agent. However, they can’t decide whether she’s KGB or Mossad. Personally, I think she’s just batshit.

          • i agree with you. who would sign her up to be a spy? she loves attention. too bad, because she might have be useful in hiding tiny transmitters in teeth in her dental office and finding safe houses under her cover as a real estate agent. and then there’s that supposed black belt she has to beat up the bad guys. πŸ™„

          • mwm341

            Aha! Well done!

            She’s with

            Bosnian Agents To SHare Information Technology

            • hi mwm341,

              welcome to the raisin! πŸ˜€

              you’ve reminded me of the girl from u.n.c.l.e.! b.a.t.s.h.i.t. headquarters will be crowded with the likes of orlybird, batshit bachmann, princess sarah, viriginia so-not-foxy foxx, etc. πŸ˜‰

  8. Is this an incarnation of Harpo Marx? She should honk a horn and not speak.

  9. Pingback: The Orly Bird Catches the Worm…I mean, a Fine | JOHNDAVE DECANO

  10. Yeah, I’d like to see her birth certificate AND her veterinary records to make sure she’s legal *and* has had all her shots.
    She definitely looks like a biter to me.

  11. Paul

    Was the $20K fine enough? Maybe when Taitz becomes a real lawyer she will appreciate what just happened. I wonder if she is a mail order bride, just like her law degree? She is perfect reporter material for β€œFake News”, where unfounded rumors and innuendo reign supreme , unlike a our US courts of law, where you need to present documented facts, not half baked lies (prepare for more failures). When flies get too close to the lights they get burned, Taitz just got burned, thing is, like a fly she will continue, no end in sight. Poor little Birthers they are haters not debaters.

    A lawyer, dentist, realtor and black belt, wow I must say a JACK of all trades master of none.

  12. can you believe there is someone that makes Katherine Harris look like Madame Curie?

  13. Orly Taitz, the Glenn Beck of the right win–oops. Hold on let me try this again. Orly Taitz, the Michele Bachmann of the Repub–crap! Ok, ok–I have it. Orly Taitz, the Sarah Palin of–shit. Nevermind. They’re all just such fucknut miscreant morons they defy comparative metaphors.