Oh, kids, I know this will break your heart, but there appears to be a rift between the Rethuglican National Committee and some congressmen and senators. A week or so ago (according to POLITICO), John Boohoo Boehner, Mitch No-chin McConnell, Jon I-don’t-need-maternity-care Kyl, John NRA Thune, and Heady Lamar Alexander got in Michael Phathead Steele’s face and told him to lay off on the policy-making. According to me my infallible anonymous sources, Phathead replied that he’s tired of just being a pretty face for the GOP when he goes out on the road and people ask him questions about Rethuglican positions on stuff. Heady Lamar said that it should be elected officials who set policy, called him a “baby, baby, baby,” and directed Phathead to “stick your head in gravy, wash it out with bubblegum, and send it to the Navy.”
Original image (by Frances Tipton Hunter)
Of course, when they all came out of the room, they said that they all had a wonderful discussion, and they all just love each other to bits now.
Not so fast. Enter James Bopp, vice chairman of the Republican National Committee. From his Op-Ed at POLITICO:
The latest Washington turf war seems to be between some in the GOP congressional leadership and Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele. As reported in POLITICO on Oct. 5, some Republicans in Congress, led by Tennessee Sen. Lamar Alexander, took Steele to task for straying beyond politics to policy by announcing his “health care bill of rights.” Alexander declared, “We are elected to set the policy.” But, in my view, the national committee’s job is to create the environment in which Republicans can be elected to set policy.
This is the tail wagging the dog. The Republican Party was founded to advance a set of principles — most famously, ending slavery. Electing politicians to public office is a means to that end. Alexander, it seems, would reverse this: Let’s just elect public officials and see what public policies they come up with. Furthermore, there is no artificial separation between policy and politics. Good policy is good politics.
Unfortunately, we have just come off two electoral defeats where the Republican Party followed Alexander’s prescription — just let the politicians decide policy — and abandoned the Republican Party’s conservative fiscal and free-market principles. As a result, many Americans became disillusioned with the Republicans, and now America is paying the price with President Barack Obama’s march toward socialism.
Dammit, we’re marching towards socialism? I was told there was going to be transportation. Now I have to see if I can find a comfortable pair of shoes. Maybe boots. I think boots are more impressive when marching.
I certainly agree with Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.), who said that Republicans “need to coordinate as much as possible” their message. But that is quite different from saying that the RNC has no role in formulating public policy. And Steele says that before it was released he ran his “health care bill of rights” by the Republican congressional leadership.
And what about the Republican Party platform? The 2008 version has 55 pages of Republican principles and policy proposals, including six pages advocating conservative reforms of the health care system. The RNC frequently updates its policy positions through the adoption of resolutions applying the Republican Party’s conservative principles to current public policy debates.
And what is the platform for? To provide a blueprint for how Republicans will govern if America entrusts us with that responsibility.
You know what this means, kids. One, Michael Phathead Steele is too much of a wimp to stand up to other Rethuglicans, so he sends out his toady to fight his battles for him. And two, now I have to give James Bopp a nickname. I’ve got it! Bippity! Bippity Bopp. Works for me.