She’s Squirrelly, Not Shirley


The aide who helped turn Rep. Michele Bachmann into a controversial mainstay of cable news has informed colleagues that she’s quitting — just as the firebrand Republican congresswoman prepares for her biggest media moment yet.

Multiple sources have confirmed that Michelle Marston, a veteran Hill aide, is leaving Bachmann’s office.

In an e-mail exchange with POLITICO, Marston declined to say why she’s going.

Original DVD cover

“I’m just not talking about it, and frankly I don’t think there’s a story here,” Marston wrote. “Now, the thousands of people calling our office to tell us [they’re] coming to Capitol Hill tomorrow — that’s a story.”

Marston was referring to the prolific Bachmann’s latest political brainstorm, a “house call” on the Capitol Thursday to which she’s invited Fox News viewers and other conservatives to march with her through House office buildings, “find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, ‘Don’t take away my health care.’”


A conservative Republican House member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, suggested that Bachmann’s views — and her willingness to state them — make it hard for her to keep staff.

“When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship,” the lawmaker said.

Marston replaced Bachmann’s former chief of staff, Rich Dunn, last February. She beefed up Bachmann’s outreach operations with the aim of getting her out in the public eye more often.

“She looks like the type of person who you would invite in to have a cup of coffee at your table,” Marston said at the time.

Coffee with Batshit Bachmann? I’ll have mine with cream and 2 lumps…of arsenic!

But when Bachmann infuriated liberals with the suggestion that then-Sen. Barack Obama and other Democrats in Congress held “anti-American” views, Marston acknowledged that her boss wasn’t for everyone.

“You either love Michele Bachmann or you don’t love Michele Bachmann at all,” Marston said in an interview with POLITICO last fall.

(More proof of squirreliness–Batshit Bachmann just gave her little speech about the health care bill while wearing a “precious” lei given to her by a “freedom-loving” couple who flew in from Hawaii to tell their rep to vote against the bill.)


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19 responses to “She’s Squirrelly, Not Shirley

  1. People can only handle just so much crazy!

  2. So Marsten was one of the people responsible for what Bachmann and other GOPasaurs called “a press conference?” Yeah, I’d run away from that thing, too.

    • i think people signed up with her when she wasn’t yet out of control. as soon as she got a little bit of attention (remember the chimpy smooch at the state of the union?), it became batshit bachmann’s drug. she’s out of control, so the rats are leaving the ship before she starts trying to solve the mystery of the vanishing strawberries. 😉

  3. I think you could take Bachmann’s statements and Sarah Palin’s statements and mix them up and nobody would be able to tell the difference.
    Just how much nuttiness is America supposed to tolerate?

    • princess sarah’s statements lately have been more coherent, because she no longer writes them. she’s nothing but a puppet for dick armey and the teabagger set. both princess and batshit bachmann speak in a collection of madlibs. they have their buzzwords, and they just stick them in wherever they think they might fit.

  4. Dusty

    I can only hope that the majority of americans feel similar to what I do:

    These batshit crazy bitches are on my last nerve. Someone get the straight jacket..stat!

  5. bachmann is her own machine of insanity – she probably thinks she doesnt need anyone’

  6. mary b

    Can’t someone, anyone from the government, or even a sane relative, have this loon committed?
    Isn’t it legal when the person (the one you want to have committed) poses a threat of harm to themselves or others?
    We have plenty of cases documented where Batshit Bachmann has posed a threat. Her calling for armed revolt to HCR specifically comes to mind. I’m sure there are a lot of others.
    I just don’t understand how there could be enough crazy people living in her district where she gets re-elected.

    • hello mary b,

      welcome to the raisin! 😀

      i think batshit bachmann is doing her very best to incite violence, and if and when it happens, she’ll claim that she had no idea that would be the outcome. i think the people who voted for her should be embarrassed. i guess they’re so blinded by their own bigotry or just too damned stupid to be ashamed.

  7. Bachmann, with a head full of cement she sallies forth in an unending crusade against sanity.