He’s Dreaming of a Bronze Christmas

From npr:

We know some of you have been worrying about that new bo-tax even if your face can no longer move to express it. But now you can relax: the cosmetic surgery tax is out, but the tanning tax has replaced it. All indoor tanning services will be subject to a ten percent tax should the Senate Democrats’ health bill prevail.

The lobbying effort by those not-so-happy cosmetic surgeons has apparently paid off, and is leaving the tanning salon industry feeling a little singed.

The President of the Indoor Tanning Association […] said in a report Saturday that the move was ironic as tanning has at least some proven health benefit.The amendment seems to have accounted for this, though, and wouldnt tax phototherapy issued by a medical professional, just tanning services purchased by individuals. Its estimated to raise $2.7 billion in that first ten year period.


But the health debate’s not over yet. The Senate bill still has to be married with the House bill. The tanning provision might even provide Minority Leader John Boehner, known for his year-round glow and his opposition to new taxes, with some new talking points.

To the tune of O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree):


Filed under Chimpy, Christmas, Congress, George W. Bush, humor, John Boehner, music parody, parody, politics, Republicans, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

26 responses to “He’s Dreaming of a Bronze Christmas

  1. writechic

    OMG, Boehner is gonna flip his shit.

  2. Bwaahhaaaahhaaa!!
    I sang this outloud to my wife, and as horrible as my rendition was, she laughed out loud through the whole thing!
    I’d love to see Boner sing it!

    • your rendition can’t be halfway as bad as mine. i made sure nobody was around to hear me when i was singing it a thousand times to figure out what when where. i’ll deal with all the broken glass later. πŸ˜‰ glad you and the missus enjoyed it, mh!

  3. A new X mas classic. Great job…. love the Chimpy verse…..

    I’m sure he’s missing the bad old daze.

    Swing by & catch a new version of an old holiday classic– Twas the night before X mas. …..
    2009 health care version.

  4. JaxDem

    Sweet…and I’d rather hear you singing it than him πŸ˜€ broken glass and all!

    Joyous Festivus Nonnie – I have no grievences with you this year

    and Merry Christmas in case I miss ya

    • jaxdem! πŸ˜€

      it’s about time you got over here and commented! you made my day! πŸ™‚

      have a wonderful and safe holiday, jaxdem. i have no grievances with you either. πŸ˜‰

  5. mary b

    I hope that Boner goes broke paying for the Tanning Tax.
    But never fear, the Tanning Bed Lobby will pick up the tab.

    Why can’t he get his tan from good old fashioned sun bathing?
    Is it because the sun will make him melt?

    • well, mary, if it gets really bad, maybe princess sarah will let boohoo use her tanning bed. i assume she took that with her after she quit.

      i bet a good deal of boohoo’s tan comes from his golfing excursions. however, it’s too unnatural to be just from that.

  6. A tax on microwaving yourself?

    How about a “freaky unnatural tax” on plastic surgery, tanning beds, and Glenn Beck’s tear ducts?

    • how about a plain old phony tax? you know how in some families, you have to throw a quarter in a jar if you say a bad word or don’t do one of your chores or whatever? every time a politician tells a lie, they should have to pay a few thou. the money has to come from their personal accounts, not from campaign funds. the national debt should be paid off in a matter of weeks.

  7. Friend of the court

    Brava!!! nonnie. Still, Prima Diva. No wonder your throat is still a little sore. “Without suffering, there is no art”?
    And, also, that’s big bucks to be just the tax revenue projected. I had no idea….I’m from California where, “the girls all get so tan”. Maybe in shady states they shell out plenty dough to get baked?

    • mary b

      If Boner wasn’t half baked all of the time, he might actually get something accomplished, other than becoming orange.

      But they should tax plastic surgery, but not the kind that fixes cleft palates and the like. Just the kind they use for vanity. How many more face-lifts does Palin need? Because the few she has already gotten have made her look much worse. Although I’ve never seen any beauty in her, especially after she opened her mouth at the RNC. And I wonder how many Boner has had? He can’t be too young, can he? If he is, there may still be time for him to be educated about the Constitution.

    • thanks fotc! πŸ˜€

      i think a tanning tax is good, only because it’s so unhealthy. howevah, health care reform should be paid for by taxing the ultra-wealthy, at least in my opinion.

      while we’re on the subject of the ultra-wealthy, i’ve always thought that things like traffic tickets should carry fines commensurate with the income of the perpetrator. a $100 fine might be a huge burden for a poor person, but it’s meaningless to a millionaire. punishment should be equal, and unless the impact of punishment is not the same, then it’s not equal, even if the amount is identical. states and cities could make a dent in their deficits if they implemented fines based on income. if a fine doesn’t hurt, then it doesn’t teach a lesson.

      • Friend of the court

        I agree completely about the value of punishment.

        • it’s something i’ve thought about for a long time. a couple of hundred bucks means nothing to a rich person, so why should he slow down when he drives? not only would city and state coffers grow, but maybe the roads will get safer, and fewer accidents might mean less expense for cops, emts, and health care.

          • mary b

            That is a fantastic idea! Just one or two parking tickets can take up nearly some one’s minimum wage paycheck.
            Same with food tax.
            If you make a little too much to get food stamps, but not enough to buy enough groceries, they should wave the tax on them all together. The working poor pay a much larger percentage in food taxes (for those states that still do tax groceries) than the wealthy or even the middle class.

  8. Excellent post. You have brought in a brand-new devotee. Please keep up the superb work and I look forward to more of your intriguing posts.