An Ego of Biblical Proportions

(ChattahBox)—Disgraced South Carolina Governor, Mark Sanford has spent the last two days furiously cherry-picking through his bible, looking for any religious justification for his sinful behavior of adultery, lying and abandoning his family and constituents to jet off to Argentina to be in the arms of his lover. And by golly, he found it!

Gov. Sanford told his staff during a televised cabinet meeting today that he was just like King David, the biblical King of Israel and that if King David didn’t resign after committing adultery and murder, well then neither will he!

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Scandalapalooza!

With the recent focus on Mark Sanford and John Ensign (before they killed Michael Jackson to get reporters off their backs), the spotlight is once again upon past scandals of those in the party of family values. I thought we would take a stroll down memory lane…

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By the way, kids, the woman pictured is Cindy Hampton, Ensign’s married ex-mistress.

Sanford and Sin…or is it Sanford and Spin?

From the New York Daily News:

He’s America’s newest Luv Guv – and he admits he’s a lying two-timer who’s hurt those who love him most.

South Carolina’s wandering Gov. Mark Sanford arrived home from a secret six-day jaunt to Buenos Aires to tearfully confess to an affair with an Argentine hottie – which included graphic e-mails in which he professed his love for her body and her “tan lines.”

Kids, I want you to all click over to Sardonyx’s diary over at the big orange and check out the musical masterpiece he wrote. Go on! I’ll wait. When you’re done, come back here, and I have another little ditty for you. It’s sing-along night at the raisin!

Mystery Political Science Theater

From The Fix at The Washington Post:

Gov. Mark Sanford (R-S.C.) admitted that he had conducted an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina who he had gone to visit over the last five days — during which time a massive media story developed over where he was and why.

“I have been unfaithful to my wife . . . I developed a relationship with what started as a dear dear friend,” said Sanford.

😯 I demand to know which same-sex marriage was responsible for this!

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undiS.C.losed location

From The State:

S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford’s staff said this morning that the governor, who went mysteriously incommunicado for several days, plans to return to his office Wednesday.

Late Monday, his office said the governor was hiking on the Appalachian Trail, ending four days during which staff and state officials said they had not heard from him.

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Shhh! It’s a secret!

From The Plum Line:

A rather intriguing reaction from one of John Ensign’s Senate GOP colleagues to the news of Ensign’s extramarital affair:

“I think he will be welcomed back by his colleagues and go back to being a good senator,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham, who said Ensign shouldn’t have resigned his leadership spot.

Graham downplayed the political impact this would have on the GOP, saying, “Most Americans look at this as a personal situation.”

Graham let out a laugh and said: “I’ve got plenty of sins that I’m not going to share with anyone else.”

Sins? Well, kids, you know that your intrepid reporter (that would be me) cannot let that go without an investigation. Through my sources, I was able to obtain a photograph of what goes on when the Senate Republican are not voting no or making speeches about why they voted no.

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(With a little bit of help from this poster)

Radio Daze

From THINK PROGRESS:

[…] RNC Chairman Michael Steele hosted Bill Bennett’s radio show, where he fearmongered about a non-existent “health police” and advised that President Obama simply “do the deal” to fix health care. He also called the president a “liar” for pledging to fix health care without deepening the national debt:

1. OBAMA [audiotape]: I’ve made a firm commitment that health care reform will not add to the federal budget deficit over the next decade.

STEELE: [shouting] LIAR! Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. We need to stand up and say this. Come on!

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