Birthers and Deathers, and all kinds of crazy,
A Twitterer quits, ’cause she’s just too damned lazy,
Rescuing banks ’cause they’re too big to fail,
Tales about the Appalachian trail.
Michele Bachmann’s nuts, at least that’s the consensus,
She thinks Steele’s da man, and won’t fill out the census,
Barbie turned 50, does not look her age,
Jindal’s mistaken for Kenneth the Page.
Fox News and radio hosts get so flustered,
They found out Obama likes burgers with mustard,
Snarling Liz Cheney is so filled with hate,
And a woman’s so fertile, she gave birth to eight.
Grab a teabag,
Have a party,
Go on, act like jerks,
Dick Armey is back, and he’s running the show,
All paid for by Freedomworks!
Blue Dogs on health care say yes, no, and maybe,
Shadegg’s ventriloquist act with a baby,
Pawlenty goes hunting, and he wounds a deer,
Obama and Crowley and Gates have a beer.
Tiger screws everyone, ‘cept for his caddy,
While John Ensign‘s mistress gets paid by his daddy,
Renters on C Street pretend they’re all chaste,
And Roy Blunt knows where to get your hip replaced.
Saying that gay people never should marry,
Spells the demise of a bimbo named Carrie,
Cynthia Davis thinks Mickey D’s fine,
All this shit happened in Two Thousand Nine.
But it’s over,
And it’s hist’ry,
It won’t come again,
Let’s all cross our fingers, and hope for the best,
Now that it’s Two Thousand Ten!