With All Doo-doo Respect

From Paul Slansky at THE HUFFINGTON POST:

Lost in the coverage of President Obama’s too-gentle smackdown of John McCain at the health care reform summit – I would have preferred to have heard something like, “You know, John, instead of whining about all of my broken promises, why don’t you take this opportunity to apologize to your fellow citizens for inflicting that morally-impaired harridan Sarah Palin on them?” – was something sublime that passed this bitter old hack’s lips while he was using his allotted time to remind viewers how consumed with resentment he still is about entering the history books as the first white man to lose a presidential election to a (half) black man.

Health care legislation, McCain bellyached, was drawn up not in full public view, as the president had pledged it would be, but was “produced behind closed doors,” in the kinds of back rooms that McCain himself had hidden out in decades earlier while working on behalf of his old buddy Charles Keating, architect of the nation’s biggest savings and loan collapse. Griped McCain about the health bill, “It was produced with unsavory – I say that with respect – deal-making.”

Original DVD cover

McCain called the process “unsavory,” but did so “with respect.” Let’s take a moment to savor that.

And then let’s take another moment to appreciate exactly who is so respectfully pointing his pious finger at Obaman seediness. A man who graduated from the Naval Academy ranking 894th in a class of 899. A man who left his disabled first wife for a rich young beer heiress, who, once she was less young, he did not hesitate to call – in front of witnesses whose reports have never been refuted – a “cunt.” A man whose frequent explosions of temper earned him the sobriquet “Senator Hothead,” and prompted one of those on the receiving end of his disproportionate wrath to observe, “His volatility borders in the area of being unstable.” A man who got up in front of a crowd and told a joke whose witless punch line explained why then-17-year-old Chelsea Clinton was “so ugly.”

Where’s Princess Sarah to tell him that kids of politicians are off-limits? Do you think maybe Captain Underpants was being satirical?

A man whose political career was built on little more than having been a tortured POW, but who lacked the guts to vote to ban waterboarding.

And finally, a man whose overriding need to be president – and whose delusional belief that his spluttering, unprincipled essence qualified him for it – led him to choose as his running mate a preternaturally ignorant, demagogic harpy whose entire platform turned out to be unearned umbrage.


And, of course, I point these things out with all due respect. Which is to say, none whatsoever.


Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, humor, John McCain, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, television, Torture, waterboarding, Wordpress Political Blogs

30 responses to “With All Doo-doo Respect

  1. writechic

    Blah, blah, blah, it’s the “Chicago style politics” talking point in code. McCain’s pissed that Obama talked back to him. Grandpa dudn’t like no* back sass, especially from no tall, skinny, cigarette smoking half-Kansan Hawaiiany President.

    *in the South a double negative means no

  2. Friend of the court

    that is why I like dogs best.

  3. Last Monday marked ten years since my last action as a Republican–voting for McCain over Chimpy in the Michigan Republican Primary. I left the party shortly after that. Back then, McCain was worth voting for–he at least had an independent streak. That’s all gone now. He jumped the shark once he named Princess as his running mate.

    • happy anniversary, neon vincent! 😀

      capt underpants was a better selection than chimpy, especially back then. of course, that’s like (as jon stewart would say) being the thinnest kid at fat camp.

  4. awesome, nonnie; that pose is insane! you’re doing major surgery on the covers these days with great results; and yes I would have made the puddle, but then, are we not men?

    • thanks terry! 🙂 the cover was too long, so it’s a good thing capt underpants is so short. i thought about making the puddle, but i decided that the yellow oval that the doggie looks to be sniffing could pass as a puddle. i made up a little story in my head that the doggie was passing by, smelled the puddle, and had to mark his territory. capt underpants is so insignificant that the doggie either didn’t notice him or didn’t care that he was standing in the way of the stream about to come in his direction. either that, or the doggie smells the bitterness, and he is trying to mask the odor with pee, which smells much, much better. 😉

  5. I once heard a joke of someone mentioning a double negative means no, but it does not work the same for a double positive.

    Someone in the back of the classroom said:

    Yea, right!

    Things about McCain that bother me:

    • He tries to portray himself as “everyman” but is so sickeningly wealthy he does not know how many properties they own (dozens), or how many cars they have in the fleet.

    • The guy is so out of touch with reality.

    • He’s “icky”, but not “mavericky”.

    • He expresses outrage over things he himself has done or said in the past. He either has a short memory span, or is a hypocrite or both.

    • i don’t like him, because he’s never really accomplished anything. however, he keeps getting ahead, no matter how much he screws up. he relied on his father and grandfather to stay in the naval academy, and if not for his father’s rank, he might have been killed in the prison camp after he crashed his plane (how many did he crash again?). he relied on cindy lou’s father’s connections and money to get ahead in politics, and after that, he depended on the backroom unsavory deals that he decries now. he’s a phony with no talent, little brains, and no allegiances, except to himself.

      • He crashed five and lost a sixth because of a fire on the carrier. As as result, one of his nicknames is “reverse ace.”

        • it’s as difficult for me to keep up with how many planes he crashed as it is for him to keep up with how many houses he and cindy lou own.

          reverse ace, i like that! 😆

        • jeb

          There was a great article about this in 2008 in Rolling Stone. He crashed the first one simply because he never studied or paid attention in class as he was always out partying. His second crash was also negligence and carelessness on his part and the article pointed out how any Navy Pilot would have lost their career after the first crash and definitely never have survived the second. He was just as covered and protected as Bu$h Jr.

          • the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. from wiki (this is about capt u’s father):

            McCain entered the United States Naval Academy in 1927, at age 16.[2] He disliked the hazing tradition and behavioral restrictions of Annapolis, and accumulated many demerits and earned mediocre grades during his years at the Academy.[2][4] As one biographer wrote, McCain “was given to taking unauthorized midnight leave and spent much of his four … years in contention with authority and working off massive doses of extra duty.”[6] McCain later stated: “I was known as a ‘ratey’ plebe, and that’s the plebe who does not conform always to the specific rules and regulations of the upperclassmen. Some of these upperclassmen would … require you to do such things which only incited rebellion and mutiny in me, see.”[4] At one point, McCain had so many demerits he was at risk of not graduating; his partying and drinking was especially dangerous as it was taking place during Prohibition.[4] For much of his final year there, he was banished from Bancroft Hall, the normal residence for midshipmen, and forced instead to live on the barracks ship Reina Mercedes.[1] He graduated in 1931, finishing 423rd out of 441 in class rank, eighteenth from the bottom.


            While stationed on Oklahoma in Long Beach, California, McCain met Roberta Wright, a freshman at the University of Southern California whose father was a successful wildcatter.[9] After Roberta’s mother objected to her daughter associating with a sailor,[10] the couple eloped to Tijuana, Mexico, marrying in Caesar’s Bar on January 21, 1933.

            so he was a total screw-up in the naval academy, but he was never thrown out, because his daddy was an admiral. plus he married an heiress. he had a temper and a drinking problem. it’s an interesting read.

    • Friend of the court

      republicans seem to have a lot of memory problems.

  6. It was five planes, an “inside the park ace”. Granted, the NV/AAA got one of the Skyhawks and the dumbass crew of the Forrestal, brought from the Atlantic to China Station, didn’t have enough sense not to live wire loaded rockets on the flight deck before you hook up for the catapult launch can take credit for another. He will have a good chance of losing that primary challenge to the bagger. Our Texbagger has rebounded in the poles from her patently dumbass remarks last week and is surging greatly. How I underestimated the dumbassery of the Lone Star State. Primary tomorrow, will require extra popcorn.

    • i won’t be surprised if capt underpants loses to teabaggin’ j.d. haywire. i wonder if he’ll run as an independent if he does. i don’t know how it works in arizona, so that might not be an option. it would be pretty funny if he ran as the connecticut for lieberman party candidate!

      make sure to check in tomorrow night. i just finished a little something to commemorate the election in texas.

  7. geez53

    Leahy was lambasting the rethugs for obstructing judicial nominees just now (senate floor), but still no call to have the asshats actually filibuster. The senate isn’t just broken. It’s folded, spindled and mutilated as well. And that’s just fine with I-still-wannabe-the-preznut-McShame.

    • geez! you’ve stayed away too long, my friend! i think jon stewart was correct–most of the senate is just too damn old. there are dems who could have easily outlasted a 78-year-old man. sooner or later, he would have had to go to the bathroom. use that opportunity to ask if there are any objections, and then slam the gavel!