From James Wolcott at VANITY FAIR:
Look, I have no idea why Senate candidate J. D. Hayworth would want to marry a horse […]. Perhaps he fell under the spell of a lustrous filly while vacationing at a dude ranch, which I gather are plentiful in his home state of Arizona, or struck up a conversation with Mr. Ed in a bar catering to lonely men whose wives are deep into denial, a casual chat over a bowl of peanuts that led to a spirited “hayride,” if you catch my innuendo.
[…] I think the voters of Arizona should think twice about a man willing to toss away 2000 years of Judeo-Christian values to mate with a horse. “[If] you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse,” he told an interviewer from KORN News. I wonder what Mrs. Hayworth thinks of her husband’s cavalier attitude about the sanctity of marriage, his willingness to cast it and her aside if the right pony came along that he could make his horse-wife. “A devoted family man, J.D. is happily married to Mary, and they are blessed with 3 children, Nicole , Hannah, and John Micah.” Oh sure, now they are blessed; but if J. D. Hayworth insists on giving in to his affections, he may eventually be the proud sire of a second set of children named Flicka, Pegasus, and Phar Lap, whose glossy manes would be the envy of their classmates but would make any future candidacy “problematic,” even in a Palinized Republican Party barely distinguishable from your average freak show.
Me, I’d have no problem with J. D. Hayworth’s cross-species lifestyle, but not everyone is a fan of John Waters films, and the conservative “base” might very well cool and him gravitate towards Mitt Romney, who only looks like a horse.
Hayworth, during an interview with an Orlando, Fla., radio station explained: “You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, ‘the establishment of intimacy.'”
“Now how dangerous is that?” asked Hayworth, who is challenging Sen. John McCain from the right in Arizona’s GOP Senate primary.
“I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point,” he continued. “I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.”
The former Republican congressman then insisted that the “only way” to prevent men from marrying horses is to create a federal marriage amendment. Hayworth noted that he supports such an amendment.
In fact, the 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling striking down a ban on gay marriage defined marriage as “the voluntary union of two persons as spouses, to the exclusion of all others.”