Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Batshit Goopers Incorporated!

Kids, have you heard? There might be a remake of the old sitcom, Laverne and Shirley, in the works. From The Boston Globe:

Director Garry Marshall has told TV Guide that a few of the stars his flop “Valentine’s Day” may be teaming up in a film version of popular 70s TV show “Laverne & Shirley.” Marshall said Ben Affleck’s bride Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel would star in the film. “Jamie (Foxx) and I are trying to do it,” Marshall said. “He’s writing it. It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.” On the show, Laverne was played by Penny Marshall and Shirley by Cindy Williams.

Oh hell. If they’re going to rehash the show, I think it should be a little more relevant as to what’s going on in the country. I can think of 2 broads who would be much better than Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel. Behold, Lashrew and Squirrely!

Original DVD cover

From Winkypedia:

Lashrew & Squirrely is an American television situation comedy that has run on GOP network (a subsidiary of Fox News) from 2008 to the present. It stars Sarah Palin as  Lashrew De Fuzzihead and  Michele Bachmann as Squirrely Fundy, roommates who, as the series began, worked in Shitz Brewery.

The show was a spin-off from Crappy Daze, as Squirrely was originally introduced on that show as someone who couldn’t keep her hands off Chimpy. Set in roughly the same time period as Crappy Daze, the Lashrew & Squirrely timeline started in approximately 2007 when Squirrely was elected to Congress through 2010, when we hopefully see the last of all the main characters.

Both shows were made by Paramount Insanity Television. “Lashrew & Squirrely” and “Crappy Daze” were both filmed on stage 666.

Characters:

  • Lashrew De Fuzzihead (Sarah Palin) Known for being a shrill-talking basketball-playing, moose-hunting tomboy, Lashrew grew up in Wasilla, Alaska.  Lashrew works alongside whoever will pay her the most to show up (before she inevitably quits early).   She would consider herself a realist, and she sees her life for what she imagines it to be.  Lashrew’s motto is:   “These here are my core values, unless you pay me enough to change ‘em to somethin’ else.”  Lashrew will campaign for tough guys of the “Teabaggers” gang and for old farts to whom she’s obligated for putting her on the national stage and for buying her lots of pretty clothes from expensive stores.  Moose milk and Pepsi is Lashrew’s infamous favorite drink .  Along with her Miss Wasilla sashes, her trademark is the letter “L” monogrammed on her shirts and sweaters.
  • Squirrely Fundy (Michele Bachmann)   Squirrely Wingnut Fundy is the perky, positive one. With apple cheeks to match her personality, Squirrely never “lets her tinfoil balloon land”.  While she’s a bit of a meek little “girly-girl”, she’s never afraid of calling for investigations of anyone with whom she disagrees.   One of Squirrely’s most prized possessions is “Boo Boo Elephant”, a large stuffed GOP symbol which sits next to her bed. Her favorite song is Pat Boone’s “ I xAlmostx Lost My Mind” and that song is featured in several episodes, often used by one of the girls to cheer the other up. Squirrely becomes a huge fan of idol Sean Hannity.

Original image

  • Loony Kosslapski: (Steve King), a lovable goof who pesters Lashrew and Squirrely along with his best friend and roommate Skwiggy (who both live upstairs from Lashrew and Squirrely’s basement apartment).  Loony works as a truck driver at the Shitz brewery. Raised by his father after his mother abandoned them, during the series it was learned that Loony was the 89th in line to the Toilet Throne. When Loony attempted to have the word “King” embroidered on the back of his red jacket, a mistake left him with “Wing” instead; Lashrew was kind enough to sew on a fancy-script “nut” to complete the phrase. Loony says that, while he’s not completely sure, he thinks his last name (Kosslapski) is Iowan for “Help, there’s a black guy in the White House”.
  • Noclue “Skwiggy” Skwigman (Louie Gohmert) The most obnoxious of the bunch, and the greasiest. Skwiggy works and lives with childhood friend Loony. Skwiggy grew up with neglectful parents, and is often scheming to get rid of the 17th Amendment or secede from the union by somewhat devious means. For some reason, he collects dust, and prays for a return to pre-Civil War days.  Skwiggy, like Loony, loves the sour grape-flavored drink Kool-aid, and makes nearly every entrance with his trademark “Hello” said in a slightly dopey voice. In the final season, we learn Skwiggy has a look-alike sister named Skwigdoline (played by Virginia Foxx), who is just as obnoxious and greasy as he is.

32 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Chimpy, Congress, Constitution, Fox News, George W. Bush, humor, Iowa, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

32 responses to “Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Batshit Goopers Incorporated!

  1. The artwork is awesome as always. Palin talking politics now is as irrelevant and doomed as Limbaugh and his cheerleader Dennis Miller when they tried to talk X’s and O’s in the football booth. When someone does get killed by a loonie who finds these 2 whores worth listening to I hope they both get locked up right along with their triggerman. Palin using gun language like “reload” and drawing bulls eyes on districts is as pathetic as the other skank bragging about refusing to cooperate with the census.

    • writechic

      Just read the FBI is rounding up Christian extremist militia types in the Midwest. Chippin’ at the base.

    • thanks mick! can you tell i had fun with this one?

      i think the hate-talkers on the right are feeling more and more desperate, so they’re using all their ammunition in hopes that they’ll regain some ground. they listened to months of the talking heads telling them that the dems were going to go down in flames, and now they’re scrambling. the dems sure surprised them!

  2. writechic

    Picture perfect, Nonnie! The flare is awesome. :-)

    • thanks melissa! :)

      this was so much fun for me, because it reminded me of the very first post here, chimpy in charge. it was a spoof of the imbd page for the show, and mighty mikk0mouse and i had so much fun with that one, and it’s what started the whole movie/tv shtick that became the raisin.

  3. JaxDem

    Lashrew, how frenchy soundin’, but since she’s got a hockey playin’ moose and a “merican” flag pin then I guess she’s alright. Now that squirrely gal with them batshit dangly earrings looks like she’s been drinking more of them shitz beers than she’s been cappin’.

    Ask me, they prove the truth to the adage that older wimmen and dog poop are alike since the older they get the easier they are to pick up.

    • :lol: lashrew is awful frenchy soundin’, but i betcha she thinks it’s okay, ’cause lyndon larouche sounds lika frenchy, too. like you said, that ‘merikan flag pin makes it all aright.

      • Lyndon LaRouche? *gags* I had a run-in with one of his followers a month ago. He showed me one of those photos of Obama with a Hitler mustache. He was lucky I didn’t deck him. Instead, I gave him a look that should have peeled the skin off his face.

        • i think karen zipdrive had the best idea about dealing with morons like that. when they start spouting their nazism/facism/communism/socialism/marxism crap, ask them what all those words mean. they can’t answer, because they don’t know. they’re just repeating what they heard from glenn blechhhh, who doesn’t know what they mean either.

  4. Ha! I just flashed on (bullwinkle’s) Moose & Squirrel!
    The hockey stick is a nice touch.
    Too bad crappy daze still goes on.

    • i’ve used the moose pin before. i found it somewhere on the internets a while back. crappy daze are still here, but it wasn’t reasonable to think that things were going to change overnight. at least we’re headed in the right (as in correct) direction now.

      • Oooh yea, you would not want to go in the wrong right direction– that would be baaaad.

        But for all her goofy stunts, you’d think Palin would be winding it down by now, written off as a loser/quitter, national embarrassment, instead she is in the fricking headlines, daily.

        I know it’s hard to look away from a trainwreck, but this is going on for entirely too long.

        • she’s in the headlines, but for what? writing on her hand, selling a reality show for a mil and a half bucks a pop. putting the screws to her grandson’s father. while she may have her die-hard supporters, she’s being marginalized every day. she’s the paris hilton of politics.

  5. Hollywood hasn’t had a new idea in decades. Remakes of hohum to lame TV shows make it seem like a contest to make the worst movie ever. You find yourself asking deep, serious questions like “do I watch the rest of this Lost in Space DVD or pick up this revolver and shoot myself in the head”. Yea, that kind of quality. Back in the 80s this trend gave me an epiphiny. When the F Troop movie comes out I’m going to shave my head, put on sack cloth and ashes and go sit in the back yard and await the end of the world!

    • hollywood needs to sign up the raisinettes. we’ll give them plenty of movie and tv ideas. i don’t know which is worse, the rehashing of old shows or the crappy reality shows. either way, there’s a real lack of creativity.

  6. Oh, so these are the two in charge of putting mice in the bottles at Shitz brewery.

    ;>)

    Great work, Nonnie – your layers of mockery keep getting deeper with every piece.

    • yep, this is why we never know what’s brewing over at shitz. they figured that, if tequila can have worms, then beer can have mice.

      so glad you liked this little entry of mine, because i really enjoyed thinking it up. :D

  7. Joanaroo

    Love this Nonnie! The pictures you create are so funny! So the Tea Party had their meetings and I’m very surprised there was no body count when they left. I’m curious to know if more guns showed up than actual Tea Partiers. I’m sure one of those Winnebagos had an arsenal in it. I wonder if any of those Tea Partiers have kids like those on Jamie Oliver’s show who don’t know how to use a table knife yet.

    • thanks joanaroo! :)

      there were two casualties at the capt underpants/princess sarah campaign rally. two hecklers were roughed up. funny thing is that they weren’t dems, tehy were teabaggin’ hayworth supporters. i thought princess was so worried about freedom of speech. i guess that’s only for people who agree with her.

  8. don’t know if anyone will see this, but i just found it and wanted to put it here. the posters in actions!

  9. Pingback: The Macaca Awards! Part IV « HYSTERICAL RAISINS

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