Express Yourself

From The Arizona Republic:

The “Tea Party Express” was greeted by about 1,200 to 1,500 supporters as it rolled into Phoenix on Sunday, the third stop on a three-week, cross-country tour that ends in Washington, D.C., on April 15.

Activists from across Arizona and from as far as Seattle gathered at the Arizona State Capitol complex to sing, chant and voice their distaste of taxes, health-care reform and big government.


U.S. Senate candidate J.D. Hayworth, who is challenging U.S. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., told protesters that a rancher in southern Arizona had just been found shot to death on his property near the Mexican border.

While admitting that “we do not know who perpetrated this attack,” Hayworth strongly suggested “illegal aliens” were to blame.

The federal government failed to protect that rancher, who was “one of the good guys,” Hayworth said.

Original movie poster

Oooh! It’s the Battle of the Expresses–the Tea Party Express vs. Captain Underpants’s Straigh Talk Express. It’ll be fun watching them throw each other under their respective buses.

Tea-party activists often bristle when described as an “angry mob” or as being “on the fringe.” But Levi Russell, communications director for Our Country Deserves Better political-action committee, said he could see how such statements could lead to that sort of perception.

But the core principle of the movement is simply “reducing the intrusion of government in private lives,” Russell said.


The rally in Phoenix with 1,200 to 1,500 participants was the lowest attended of the first three Tea Party Express stops, Russell said. At least 8,000 people were at the kickoff event in Searchlight, Nev., and about 5,000 people attended the protest in Henderson, Nev., organizers said.

The Tea Party Express plans to stop in 39 more cities, including Salt Lake City, St. Louis, Mo., and Boston.

So, lemme try to get this straight. The Teabaggers want less intrusion of the government, but they’re complaining the government didn’t intrude enough to save that rancher’s life (even though nobody yet has any idea why he was killed). And guess who else was in attendance, kids! Joe the Plumber! From the same article:

[T]he Phoenix rally also addressed issues specific to the border state.

Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel Joe Wurzelbacher, of Ohio criticized liberals for what he called lax enforcement of border security.

His solution? “Put a fence in, start shooting,” Wurzelbacher said.

The plumber also said the federal government made a mockery of the military by choosing to “coddle terrorists.”

“Line up every last terrorist and I’ll torture them myself,” he said. “And I’m not just talking.”

And Joe the Plumber is an expert on the subject, because he comes from the border state of Ohio! And he has every right to diss the military, because he served, dont’cha know? Princess Sarah Palin said so! From the October 29, 2008 New York Times:

BOWLING GREEN, Ohio – Speaking at a campaign rally 25 miles outside Toledo, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska was well into her riff on tax policy when she paused.

“You know,” she said, smiling playfully. “There’s someone here who really gets it when it comes to this issue.”

The crowd, anticipating the surprise guest, started to clap and cheer.

“He’s a fellow Alaskan, and he’s a fellow military man who served our country proudly,” Ms. Palin said. “I’d like you to meet him! Please welcome Joe the Plumber!”

(emphasis mine)

I did a little digging to see what theater of war he served in so valiantly. This is what I found THE TUFTS DAILY (November 11, 2008):

Question: There has been some confusion amongst the media with regards to your name and occupation. Could you provide some clarification?

Answer: All right. Well, my name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. I go by [my] middle name Joseph and shorten it to Joe and have gone by that since I was born and have always been called Joe. With regards to my occupation, I was a plumber in the military for the United States Air Force. I used to teach plumbing in the military.

Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, Joe the Plumber, military strategerist extraordinaire.


Filed under 2008 election, humor, Immigration, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

35 responses to “Express Yourself

  1. I think that I’ll have to borrow a response from FailBlog to get quite the right spirit, here …


    • it’s amazing in this information age that so many people are so ill-informed or uninformed. with so much access, i have to believe that they’re willingly clueless.

      • I was arguing with a guy I know about the character of Obama/Biden vs. previous admins.

        He started off by saying that Biden’s “big effing deal” comment showed how little respect he had for his office. I pointed out that Cheney told a sitting Senator to F himself, openly and in public. That would seem to show less respect, given that Biden’s wasn’t supposed to be overheard.

        So he then went to the story that Bush had a rule about everyone wearing suits and ties in the Oval Office. I showed him a set of pictures including GWB without a jacket and Reagan without a tie, at the big desk itself.

        No response from there … he simply chooses his opinion, and ignores facts that don’t line up.

  2. maybe cheney was doing some more canned hunting

  3. writechic

    Omg! That’s hilarious! My 20 and 21 year old kids and I are cutting up together. You’ve captured Hayworth’s soul. 😆

  4. That Hayworth piece is just like the opening scene in The Oxbow Incident. Kinkaids been killed, laying in that ditch! Ain’t somebody gonna do somethin about it? The right wing crank solution is to go find someone or a group of people and kill them. No trial will be required because they are guilty and who wants the delay and public expense of a courtroom. They will get what they deserve. In the film rope was rigged and the three men were hung at dawn. But there was a problem. Kinkaid was not dead.

    • they’ll keep blaming immigrants for everything until they accidentally get it right. then they’ll proclaim see? we told you they’re all no good! it won’t matter that all the former accusations are proven false.

  5. Well this post is *loaded*.
    The roster of assclowns running for the Senate seat in Arizona is epic.

    check out this guy:

    Speaking of loads– Joe the Plumber…. who the hell even listens to that dolt?

    But his quote:
    “And I’m not just talking.”

    No, sir ~ you are BLATHERING.

    Seems like the circus is complete– along w Steele’s latest stunt.

    The stench of elephant dung & bull shit is overwhelming.


    • holy crap! and i thought jd hayworth was bad. this deakin guy is a real wingnut!

      i can’t believe that anyone would even want to be associated with joe the dumber. he’s an embarrassment. every time he opens his mouth, the stupid comes out.

  6. Watching from here (Nova Scotia), the ‘teabag’ spectacle and the institutional support they receive both from government and media is concerning to say the least. I believe you can see that from parts of Alaska too…

    • hey cynical one! nice to see you again.

      i think it’s disgusting that the media covers this fringe group. they never gave this much attention to the anti-war marches during the chimpy years. the teabaggers represent a miniscule percentage of the population, but they get most of the news coverage. i guess the corporations that finance this nonsense are the same ones that can pay to influence the media.

  7. Joanaroo

    Oh Good Lord! Embarassing to know coverage of Tea Party and GOP lunacy goes all around the world. I imagine the international set is so used to American idiots that all they do is roll their eyes and say, “There go those f’n batshit Americans again!”. King George on hearing of the Declaration of Independence back in 1776 said, “Hey, fine by me and they can have their guns, Tea Party and lunatic fringe! Oh, and they can stick American football too!”.

  8. Good one. I couldn’t presume to be that harsh since Ann Coulter recently invaded several of our universities, a couple of which had paying customers to listen to her rhetorical nonsense. Suggestion: Tea Party, Coulter and PM Harper must go to Easter Island to carve stone.

    • maybe you canadians need to put up a fence, and when someone like ann coulter crosses over, you should start shooting. that’s what joe the dumber would do. and he’s not just talking. 😛

  9. Well, I think I’d rather try to appeal to her inner anger and have her confront the real issue she has attempted to sublimate by writing terrible books. Then give her directions to the nearest transgender clinic and get on with it.

    • i would rather everyone just ignore her so that she’ll go away. she’s like the kid who throws a temper tantrum. when people aren’t paying attention to her, she yells louder and louder. the trick is to just ignore her no matter what crap comes out of her foul mouth. she’ll become irrelevant, and she’ll go away.

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  11. I agree, and well said. Times two. Later hombre…

  12. I agree, and nicely done. Times two. Later muchacha…