Make Room for Daddy

From FIRST READ at MSNBC:

Ron Paul, father not only of Senate candidate Rand Paul (R-KY) but also of Ron Paul Nation, leaps to his son’s defense in an e-mail fundraising solicitation.

Paul, who was dismissed by the establishment during his 2008 White House bid, showed a prowess for raising money. And he’s trying to go back to the well for Rand.


Original DVD cover

MSNBC has the full letter. Here are excerpts:

Congressman Ron Paul

Dear Friend,

It sure didn’t take long for the entire establishment to attack my son Rand in the days after he won the Kentucky Senate primary.

As I left Kentucky last week, I was both happy for Rand and anxious for what I knew would be coming at him soon. But it came sooner than even I feared.

A mainstream media network has gone into all-out warfare against Rand, beginning with a full 24 hours of repeating outright lies by Rand’s Democrat opponent.

It’s funny. Rand’s opponent’s ideas are anti-freedom. They’re pro Big Government. They’re pro-welfare state, and will stand lock-step with the Obama agenda. And if they are the issue, he can’t beat Rand in Kentucky. So he’s trying to make sure this race is on a different playing field.

Rand needs to fight back. Some of it will be now, some will be in the coming months. But he needs your help to do it.

…snip…

And now he’s under all-out attack.

…snip…

Please consider helping Rand today, and as often as you can throughout the general election. He’s going to need to raise three of four times what he raised in the primary to compete with the national special interests that will pour money into Kentucky to stop him.

These early attacks prove one thing for sure: The establishment and the powers that be in Washington are scared to death of a Senator Rand Paul. And they should be.

Now let’s start helping him get there to shake up the Senate!

Please donate today at http://www.RandPaul2010.com.

In Liberty,
Ron Paul

I don’t think that letter has enough je ne sais quoi, so I thought I’d help Ol’ Ron out with a new draft that has more of that personal touch:

Congressman Ron Paul

Dear xGullible Moronx xTeabagging Assholex Friend,

It sure didn’t take long for my son Rand to screw up everything in the days after he won the Kentucky Senate primary.

As I left Kentucky last week, I was both happy for Rand and anxious for what I knew would be coming at him soon. But it came sooner than even I feared.

A mainstream media network has gone and actually paid attention to what Randy has been saying. Can you believe it–the media actually doing their jobs?! What can I tell you, the fruit of my loins was never very bright. After I miraculously got him through high school and college, the little bastard decided he wanted to go to medical school, just like me. I tried to talk him out of it, but he had his heart set on it, so I convinced him to pick a body part that doesn’t have a lot of parts. That’s why he’s an eye doctor today. After all, if he screws up, the patient hopefully has another eye to fall back on, right?

Anyway, my moronic offspring can’t seem to keep his damned yap shut. First, it was all that Civil Rights Act nonsense, and now the jackass is flapping his lips about the 14th Amendment, saying he opposed citizenship for babies born right here in the U.S.A. And he said it to a a damned Russian TV station! Don’t even get me started on his ideas for underground fences, satellites, and helicopters to get rid of illegal immigrants. I’ve told him time and time again to let other people take care of all the racism and conspiracy talk. That way, you can say that you had no idea all that stuff was going on while you still collect all those sweet campaign contributions from the nuts and bigots who believe all that stuff. It seems the lunkhead never learned that important lesson, and now everyone thinks he’s even more wingnutty than I am!

So, I hope you can help by donating some money to the little shithead’s campaign. As a parent, you can imagine how it feels when your kid is a complete failure. If you don’t want to take my word for how painful it is, ask George H. W. Bush! Take pity on me, cough up a few bucks, and help that little asswipe I sired get to the Senate. Think of it this way–every day he’s in D.C., he’s not out there blinding another hapless patient.

In Liberty,
Ron Paul

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27 Comments

Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Democrats, humor, Immigration, Media, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Ron Paul, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

27 responses to “Make Room for Daddy

  1. Sue

    Oh how fabulous! Priceless and all that good stuff. Damn, these Kentuckians (?) gotta know this Rand dude is a teabaggin piece of moronic shit! The more he talks the better it gets…

    • i love it! even if kentuckians are stupid enough to elect the moron, he’ll still be ‘the ugly stick’ (hat top to tweety for that phrase) used to smack all the other rethuglican candidates.

      • As a Texan, I knew his daddy was a nutcase the minute I heard him speak. It’s no wonder his spawn is just as nutty, if not nuttier.
        I guess he moved to Kentucky because Texas was too progressive.

        • 😆 too many socialists in texas probably. he and his father are equally nuts. however, his father is smarter than little randy. he knows just how far he can go with his nuttiness, and then he allows his followers to fill in the blanks he leaves behind.

  2. genius, nonnie! I wish I could talk you into making your covers bigger so people could see all the little treasures you’re adding. :-\

    • awww, thanks mh. 😳 a few times, i thought that i should have people click to see larger versions, but i’m not sure how to do it. do you just link the image to photobucket? then again, that would make it easier for people to see all my mistakes. 😉

      • JaxDem

        I just remembered that you can hold down the ctrl button and press the + (plus) sign to make everything on the page larger. To return to normal use the – (minus) sign.

        Now we can see those “treasures” as Michael said…and you know me and the bling…

        ‘Nother great poster nons…:D

        • thanks jaxdem! 😀 you make it so easy for me to be lazy. actually, making the images bigger might work for some pix, but it doesn’t help the resolution that might be needed to pick out certain things in more intricate pix. maybe i’ll experiment one of these days and try to make a pic bigger and then link to it.

  3. Sequel = Getting Stupid From Dad

    Hopefully the Paulites are paying attention and get the real Paul message: The Constitution is unConstitutional!

    • hello weatherdude!!!

      welcome to the raisin! 😀 i’m so happy you commented.

      little randy is just parroting his daddy, but he’s not as slick. ron paul had his minions do his dirty work and cement his standing with the fringies, but he left himself wiggle room. he allowed other people to post on his website and then distanced himself from what they said, even though he accepted campaign money from the people attracted to his site because of the craziness posted there. stupid little randy says all the things that were posted at daddy’s website, and he does so on camera so he can’t deny it later on. he’s such a moran.

      • Hiya nonnie! I really like your site! Methinks I’ll have to add it to my regular rounds (DKos and weather sites). 🙂

        I just hope he keeps eating his own two feet. It would be rather awesome to take a seat from a teabagger, and on top of that, have it be Jim Bunning’s old seat. 😀

        • thanks weatherdude! i really like that you visited and commented! 😀 that makes you an official raisinette! i hope you’ll stop by often. the best people comment over here. just be sure not to have any liquids in your mouth, because some of the comments are laughter-inducing.

          i like to picture little randy as one of those snakes on the teabaggers’ gadsen flags, eating his own tail. i bet yertle mcconnell is kicking himself in the ass for pushing beanball bunning out of the senate. to think that beanball would turn out to be saner than their new nominee! it boggles the mind. 😯

  4. Hello Nonnie, isn’t it fascinating to try and discover what makes a Rand Paul type of wingnut tick?
    To do just that we first have to sort out the muddle of his name.

    Is it possible

    A) Rand is named after Ayn Rand?
    OR
    B) Rand is simply a shortened version of Randal?
    OR
    C) Rand changed it (“it” being his name, what ever that was before it was Rand) during his father’s ’08 presidential campaign to remind his father’s supporters of Ayn Rand?

    B) is correct! Turns out that he WAS Randal/Randy (originally), then his wife renamed him Rand (but nobody in the Paul household knew at that point who the hell Ayn Rand was, so it was definitely not changed in honor of her!)
    See:

    Having cleared that up, next to his policies, and Village Voice has a very good set of Rand Paul policies (24 in fact) that they have cleverly worked out using special wingnut logic. They’re called Rand Paul-isms.

    Here’s one:
    Rand Paul-ism: “It’s not that I’m for botulism. It’s just that I abhor government telling business to keep cow shit out of our vegetables.”

    There are another 23 like that here.
    If you read all 24 you will have a full understanding of what it takes to make a wingnut tick.

    • mighty mikk0mouse!!! 😀

      i knew that his real name is randal, but i didn’t know that his wife shortened his name to rand (wonder what else she shortened). you picked the best one out of the 24. that more or less sums up the rethuglican outlook. of course, if any of them got botulism from the poop in veggies, they’d be the first one to file a lawsuit, and i bet they’d completely forget their stance in favor of liability caps.

  5. je ne sais quoi away baby!!!

    • i took french for 5 years. i used to speak it perfectly. i could read books in french. now, however, i think je ne sais quoi is all i remember. tis true, use it or lose it.

  6. That sequel letter is a work of art and Mikko’s Rand-ism is the best out loud laugh of the week. That linked list is solid gold but will grow quickly! One of their commenters said “the only laws we need are in the constitution…don’t rely on government so much” which makes as much sense as having a great owner manual and warranty but I don’t want the car. If they truly believe we’re heading straight back to 1840 when everyone knew their place, they better start handing out those free rose colored glasses that were so popular when Reagan walked the earth in his human form. One thing for sure, the only way little Rand will get inserted into the Senatorial orifice will require a great amount of KY jelly.

    • little randy should use that KY jelly on his hair. #1, because his curls are out of control, and he looks like a poodle’s ass, and #2 because he’s a dickhead.

  7. I gotta take a break from playing games on Facebook. It’s keeping me away from all your great posts!

    • i’ve been wondering where you’ve been, neon vincent. although i’ve been tempted on occasion, i never signed up for facebook or twitter. i’d probably never shower, and i’d live on cheetos and diet coke.

  8. the best part of this teabagging piece of traif is the fact that most kentuckians really dont understand what they are voting for with him – he is just one “one of them or a terrorist-loving liberal” they just dont get the fact that if it was up to rand, KY would get nothing……

    that is the issue with all teabag lovers – they are really stupid

  9. Joanaroo

    I will always make sure that not only am I not drinking liquid when I am reading your blog, Nonnie, but also make sure I am close to a bathroom! =) I take my Mobile Web phone with me everywhere so I’ll start mapping where the porta-potties are!

  10. Pingback: Make Room for Daddy (via HYSTERICAL RAISINS) « Test Site

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