Tony Hayward: Flying By the Seat of His Pants

From the Los Angeles Times:

His voice breaking as he spoke of a brother lost in the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon, Christopher K. Jones pleaded with lawmakers Tuesday to change a 90-year-old law that limits corporate liability for the 11 lives claimed in the April oil rig disaster.

Jones, a Baton Rouge attorney, displayed photos of his 28-year-old brother, Gordon, including one of an unfinished backyard fort his sibling had been building with his 2-year-old son. Appearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Jones referred to BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward’s remark that he “would like [his] life back” and said, “Well, Mr. Hayward, I want my brother’s life back.”

But Tony (seen here in his office) couldn’t hear Mr. Jones.

(Tony’s Photo Gallery, l to r: Deadeye Dick Cheney, Diaper David Vitter, Haley Barbour of Incivility)

The hearing came on a day of mounting governmental responses to the continued leak from a BP well created by the rig explosion, including the Interior Department’s announcement that it would impose new rules on shallow-water offshore drilling but allow it to resume.

The regulations signaled a more aggressive stance toward oversight of offshore drilling, and focused on suspected contributors to the disaster, including blowout preventers ā€” the device that failed to close the well.


While shallow-water exploration may resume, a six-month moratorium on deep-water drilling remains in place.

Also Tuesday, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.) introduced the Survivors Equality Act, which would allow families of those killed in international waters to collect non-economic damages, such as for lost companionship, in addition to lost wages. “You deserve a measure of justice,” Leahy told Jones.

The act would amend the 1920 Death on the High Seas Act, which does not permit survivors to collect monetary damages for the loss of care and companionship.


Sen. Richard L. Durbin (D-Ill.) said oil companies engaged in risky drilling must shoulder responsibility for the human costs. “If you cannot accept that liability, stay the hell out of the business,” he said.

In addition, Congress is considering whether to eliminate the $75-million cap on liability for economic damages resulting from oil spills. Some Republican legislators have expressed concerns that rewriting liability laws could hurt smaller oil companies and benefit trial attorneys, a big source of campaign contributions to Democrats.

Senate Democratic leaders also unveiled a tax bill Tuesday that would raise the per-barrel tax on oil from 8 cents to 41 cents to help pay for an oil spill cleanup fund ā€” 7 cents higher than a House-approved increase.


BP shares took another drubbing after his remarks, hitting a 15-month low in trading as they closed at $34.68, down $2.08, on the New York Stock Exchange. Since the disaster, BP shares have lost $81 billion, or 43% of their market value.

Hayward will make his first public appearance before Congress next week, testifying before the House Energy and Commerce oversight and investigations subcommittee.

As workers continue struggling to stanch the oil leak, Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen, who is in charge of the federal response, said Tuesday that a recently installed cap had captured nearly 14,800 barrels, or about 620,000 gallons, the day before. BP has said that it would donate net proceeds from collected oil to a fund that will restore damaged wildlife.

University of Georgia scientists who returned from a two-week research cruise in the gulf said Tuesday they had found a 15-mile-long undersea concentration of oil and gas, 3 miles wide and 600 feet thick at its core, with levels of methane gas that were 10,000 times the norm.

“I’ve never seen concentrations of methane this high” in the gulf, said marine sciences professor Samantha Joye in a news briefing. Oil was depleting oxygen levels in and near the underwater mass, which Joye described as highly diffuse, like a mist of olive oil.

“There’s really no way to get the oil out of the water,” she said. “It’s going to be months or years before we realize the full consequences of the spill.”


Although investigations into the causes of the blowout are continuing, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said the Minerals Management Service would begin tightening regulations, including requiring that well design and blowout preventers be certified by third parties. Offshore drillers must also certify that their crews will know how to respond to a seeping well.


The Interior Department said that more new safety requirements would be established in the coming months.

Several of the engineering experts who reviewed the recommendations have taken issue with the six-month deep-water moratorium, calling it a “blanket” measure that amounted to “punishing the innocent.”

Environmentalists, meanwhile, called the new rules insufficient, saying that except for a requirement for third-party inspections, the regulations mostly restate existing policies.


Filed under Congress, David Vitter, Democrats, Dick Cheney, Dick Durbin, House Energy and Commerce Committee, humor, Interior Department, parody, Patrick Leahy, politics, Republicans, Senate Judiciary Committee, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

25 responses to “Tony Hayward: Flying By the Seat of His Pants

  1. Vitter looks a little turned on by what’s going on below him. I’m kinda creeped out now. D:

    • i don’t even want to think about what turns diaper dave on. i just hope he compensated those hookers well. being a whore himself, he really should tip well just as a professional courtesy.

  2. GreenApples

    hi nonnie!

    ya gotta take a listen to “Hey ,Tony”

    Warning, you may want to cry.

    • i’ve never been to new orleans, but i cried anyway. i don’t know why it’s so emotional for me, but every time i see those poor pelicans covered with oil, i start bawling. thanks for the link, greenapples. for anyone too lazy to click over, listen to it here:

      • GreenApples

        thanks. ya know, nonnie, you are an artist. And I believe sometimes art and music can penetrate when nothing else can. I’m happy you like it.

        • i don’t consider myself an artist, and it sounds weird to me when someone says that. i’m just a manipulator of images.

          that song sounds like it came straight from the singer’s heart. that remark by tony hayward made me despise him. i might have cut him a bit of slack, but he’s so self-absorbed that i hope he never has a decent night’s sleep again.

  3. Snark is an art form m’dear. You are an artist.

    Tony reminds me of Mr. Subliminal (SNL).
    We’re doin’ everythin’ we can to help (the shareholders to get a hefty profit dividend)

    Seems obvious if he was @ the helm when this shoddy work went down at the direction of BP, he should lose his job (the I want my life back remark segway would have been an appropriate time to fire him. )

    I wish every person who participated in the political conventions with the oil thirsty (dracula- like) Drill baby drill chanting…. should be made to go work the worst hit areas of the shoreline.
    They need to experience the consequences of their

    It ia heartbreaking to see the carnage…..
    not only of the wildlife during hatching season, but of communities.

    Heads should roll– and from the top. Because that is where orders come from.
    Buh bye Tony– & take your karma with you!

  4. jHhtttttrrfffdderredderdeswqqzzzcvnnmjuihkij654321szqqqdewwqqqztttvvf-wet kees from sI)ill….dmitt

  5. zqqsswoneswqz-kees wet from s ill d mmit!

  6. Joanaroo

    Love that pic, Nonnie! Exactly where Mr. Hayward’s head has been the entire time!

  7. Joanaroo

    Maybe not, since NOAA’s top lady and now Mikey Bloomberg have their heads up there too! MSNBC said today that little Mikey wants people to leave wittle Tony Hayward alone and not be quick to judge BP. Just like a Rethug, huh? Like Orange Boner. I was like WTF? Then heard British media is bugging David Cameron (the British version of a Rethug) to say something to Obama. Gee, can’t we kick wittle Tony’s ass, Davey and Mikey? Pwease!

    • i heard today that bloomberg was defending bp, but i’m still in comcast hell (because COMCAST SUCKS!!!!, and my tv is all screwy. that’s going to come back to haunt him if he plans on running for higher office.

  8. Joanaroo

    By the way, I had watched Commons Question Time on C-SPAN for years when Tony Blair and PM Brown were on, and before David Cameron, the Conservative leader, whose name escapes me, was just as smarmy and smug as David Cameron was before he became BP. The Conservatives were a harumphing pain in the backside just like Rethuglicans.

    • i say we send some of those tankers that are sucking up the crap from the gulf over to the english channel, where they can dump it all. then we’ll see if the brits still think we’re making too big a deal of the disaster over here.

  9. Barber of Uncivility. Where else can you find a line like that ? and to highlight your genius the opera also goes by the title The Useless Precaution. Who knows useless precautions better than this short bus of corporate coproencephaletics featured above ? Well done again, Nonnie.

    • awww, thanks mick! šŸ™‚ i’ve been calling him haley barbour of incivility for a while now. it fits him, doesn’t it? what can i say–i love the puns!

      p.s. corporate coproencephaletics–awesome! we can call them cocos for short. šŸ˜‰

  10. As I was trying to say when I realized the A was a no go (pepsi syndrome) ahem…Your artistic manipulation of images has captured the essence of it all. That’s a good one! Funny thing is, when you did the tale of Toyotas running amuck, my ‘puter went into bizzaro world. When you did this story about a spill, I almost immediately suffered from a spill! Any way I can get you to do a story about an unemployed folk singer with too many girl friends??

    • now when i read those comments, i actually understand them. šŸ˜† i like the inventive way you tried to spell spill.

      i’ll do the poster of the unemployed folk singer with too many girl friends as soon as i finish the one with the amateur photoshopper winning the lottery. šŸ˜‰