Rethuglican Tan-trums


Having already declared health care reform a failure just three months after it passed, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) wants to alert the public that today is the day the Affordable Care Act begins to destroy America, one tanning salon at a time. Boehner blasted out a press release and tweet warning about a 10 percent tax on indoor tanning beds, which goes into affect today, to help fund the Affordable Care Act. Citing a Wall Street Journal article, Boehner wrote, the tax is “causing all kinds of problems for business owners who provide tanning services.” Indeed, the Journal notes the horror one owner of a video store that also offers tanning beds will have to deal with:

Today, she wants to offer one free tan for every three rentals. Should that freebie be taxed? Ms. Chamberlain doesn’t know.

Oh, the horror, indeed!
Original DVD cover
(from left, clockwise: Snooki (MTV-NJ), John Boohoo Boehner (R-OH), Dave xBandx Camp (R-MI), and Captain Underpants (R-AZ))
(Click on image and then on that for an even larger version)

The Heritage Foundation blasted the tax as well, while Fox News dutifully whined on behalf of the tanning industry. The network reported live from a tanning salon, declaring the tax to be “unfair,” “confusing,” and even “discriminatory” […]


Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) also refused to take this injustice lying down in a tanning bed. Proving to Americans that his party — despite what his own colleague says — has substantive policy alternatives, McCain told the Jersey Shore’s Snooki via Twitter that if he were president, “u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama’s tax/spend policy is quite The Situation.”

The tanning tax — in addition to raising $2.7 billion to help Americans afford health care who otherwise couldn’t — is aimed at discouraging unhealthy activities, much like taxes on cigarettes and alcohol. A recent study from the American Association for Cancer Research found that people “who tanned indoors had a 74% greater risk of developing melanoma than those who never used the machines.” Melanoma is “one of the most aggressive and deadliest cancers,” killing about 10 percent of those diagnosed — 48,000 each year worldwide. The “tax will significantly reduce the future costs of treating skin cancers,” the president of the American Academy of Dermatology told CNN. Meanwhile, fewer than 10 percent of Americans use tanning beds, and at an average cost of about $15 to $20 per visit, customer will only pay about $1.50 or $2.00 extra.

But if Boehner and the cast of Jersey Shore refuse to pay the extra couple bucks, they can always switch to spray-on tans, which will not be taxed.

Cigarettes, alcohol, and now tanning?  That’s three strikes for Boohoo Boehner!

(Video at THINK PROGRESS link)

From the website of Dave xBandx Camp, ranking member on the House Ways & Means Committee:

Unfortunately, no amount of sunscreen or Aloe will relieve the pain of the Democrats’ impending 10 percent tax on indoor tanning beds,which goes into effect tomorrow, July 1. This $2.7 billion tax will hit tens of thousands of small businesses and consumers and is just one of the many of the $569,000,000,000 in new health care taxes that violate the President’s promise not to raise taxes on middle-class families.

Despite the size and reach of this new tax increase, many Americans and small businesses are unaware of this provision or how to comply with it. According to a survey taken earlier this month, “only 5 percent of tanning business owners in the poll said they had been contacted by the government. Fully 95 percent say they are flying blind about how to collect the tax.”

On June 11, 2010, Ways and Means Ranking Member Dave Camp (R-MI) wrote to IRS Commissioner Doug Schulman asking whether the IRS would engage in aggressive outreach to notify Americans affected by the health care law’s new tax on tanning services. Camp noted that that the IRS sent over 4 million postcards advertising a small business health care tax credit that many employers are ineligible to receive. The IRS has yet to explain why it has not notified tanning operators about this tax.

Below are excerpts from “By the Numbers” put together by the National Federation of Independent Business, Indoor Tanning Association and the International Franchising Association on the new tanning tax.

Because they’ll be totally unbiased.

    2.7 billion: The amount of money the IRS plans to collect from small businesses over
    the next 10 years from this tax.

    ~19,000: Number of “mom and pop” small businesses who may be affected by the
    new tax.

    12: Number of pages it takes the IRS to explain the rules to comply with the
    complicated “suntan tax.”

    36: Number of hours estimated by the IRS to complete and file Form 720,
    prior to the IRS revising and adding the new suntan tax to it.

    >$74: Average cost, per hour, spent by small businesses to comply with federal
    tax paperwork burdens.

    >4 million: Quantity of postcards mailed to small businesses alerting them to the
    availability of a small business tax credit.

    0: Number of postcards sent to alert tanning businesses of the new tax on
    their business.

    2: Number of weeks in advance small businesses received the regulations for
    complying with the new suntan tax.

♪ And a partridge in a pear tree. ♫


Filed under Barack Obama, Fox News, humor, IRS, John Boehner, John McCain, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

26 responses to “Rethuglican Tan-trums

  1. the daily sloth

    So… White Republicans want less Latinos in the country but also want to be more tanned… ?

  2. Sue

    I have this same story in my drafts, isn’t it hysterical??! Can the rethugs look any dumber and can Americas voters get any dumber??

    • “Can America’s voters get any dumber?”

      Yes. Just look at Snooki.

      • snooki is dumb all the way to the bank. she’s unattractive, dumb as a box of rocks, and she’s nasty. it’s no wonder capt underpants would find her a kindred spirit.

    • they have their panties in a wad over a little more than a buck each time they go to the tanning parlor. it’s just bs that it’s going to affect the tanning business. my sister and a lot of her friends are addicted to tanning, and we all live in south floriduhhh! it’s just like going to the hairdresser or the manicurist. if there’s a place you go to that’s convenient and that you like, paying a dollar and change more isn’t going to keep you from going.


      Is grandma in Al Queda? Or are these state sponsored “drills” part of conditioning us to a Police State mentality and get us used to invasive gential grabbing, child molesting, naked body viewing tactics by TSA employees at airports? Or soon to be sporting events, shopping malls, you name it, unless we do something government goons with be grabbing your nuts everywhere in no-time unless we stop this at airports.

      • hello nnwo,

        welcome to the raisin! 😀

        i think things will change very quickly in the airports. people will stop flying, and that will get the attention of the powers that be. the unwashed masses complaining won’t affect anyone’s day, but anything that might take money out of the pockets of an airline’s ceo surely will.

  3. Joanaroo

    Hi! My name is Little Johnny Boner and this is my song, Suntan Tax Blues: Don’t know why I’m bitchin when I don’t do it in a booth. But I think making the buxom blond ladies pay a buck-fifty tanning tax is so uncouth. Now I like being tan because I think I look like I did in my youth. And I like my orange tan because I’m getting long in the tooth. Oh, YEAH, but I’m a GOPer with the Suntan Tax Blues! And I think the machine tanners are getting screwed! BA-BA-BA-BA. Now Obama says it’s to pay for added cancer and melanomas from sun exposure and burn. But us veteran tanners can tan from a can and learn. We think this tax is unfair to those who spend American money they’ve hard-ly earned. (Say what?) And yes I go to the bar every night and no my nose is not sunburned! Well I got those Suntan Tax Blues! And my tanning and drinking friends are getting screwed! OH YEAH!

  4. kaylaspop

    John McCain has had how many melanomas removed not the result of tanning beds?

    • it’s amazing that someone with a history of melanoma would be so against taxing tanning parlors. it just shows that he has a total lack of disregard for other people. he’s got his excellent health care paid for by the government, but he doesn’t care if anyone else gets the same disease as he had and can’t afford medical care.

  5. They got a lot of nerve. Last April/year I went to my regular retailer to purchase some tobacco and low and behold, the price had doubled! After questioning the clerk about what the hell was going on I left quite annoyed, sans smoke, to next store and was told “Oh yea, we raised the prices on everything”. No news stories, nothing in paper, nothing on radio about this great fait acompli. Now Texas, with every state wide office held by gopers, should be firmly in the pocket of big tobacco and yet not a peep out of our suck-ass politicos. You can’t count on them for anything! Good poster Nonnie, but Snooks ought to be the color of Cheetos.

    • i’m so glad i quit smoking, because there’s no way on earth i would be able to afford ciggies now. even 7 years later (well, 7 year on august 5th), i still crave the damned things. i’m tempted to get those electronic ciggies.

      snooki actually is the color of cheetos. however, standing next to boohoo boehner, she just looks faded.

  6. The network reported live from a tanning salon, declaring the tax to be “unfair,” “confusing,” and even “discriminatory”

    Yea! Power to the Orange people!

    Figures John Bonehead would get his panties in a wad over tanning beds. Such a big big issue for We the People.

    • i love how they love to use the words ‘discriminatory’ and ‘discrimination’ when it comes to business. however, they never seem to use it when it comes to arizona’s paper please law or when they talk about little randy paul’s believe system. they don’t mention the lack of color at the tea party protests. well, the lack of color except for those teabaggers who spend time at the discriminated-against tanning parlors. 😉

  7. GreenApples

    Rethuglican Tan-trums and Three-Year-Old Tantrums have much in common. Giving in to crankiness just encourages more of it.

  8. Joanaroo

    Yup, and remember, Green Apples, when Little Davy Vitter wanted his ladies of the evening to enjoy him in a diaper? LOL! The Rethugs are a curious bunch!

    • little davy vitter probably pays to get spanked when he’s throwing a tantrum. i wonder who takes care of that in the senate cloak room.

  9. i dont wish melanoma on anyone


  10. Dusty

    laughing my tired ass that Snookie from the Jersey reality show? Priceless woman!

    • that’s her! i had to find a movie that snooki (MTV-NJ) could co-star in. the rethugs want ideas from the american public, and this is the moron they’re asking? she’s the princess sarah of reality tv.