Guffaw & Disorder: Special Victims Unit

From the Los Angeles Times (Editorial):

Who knew that Laura Schlessinger was so thin-skinned? After all, this is a woman who has relished her perch as a radio shock jock. In her 30 years on the air she has offended many, blaming women for their husbands’ affairs and referring to gay people as “biological errors.” Even friendly callers often get a piece of her mind. So it’s a bit surprising that a fairly predictable reaction to her enthusiastic use of a racial slur has sent her scurrying out of the kitchen, so to speak.

Schlessinger, better known as Dr. Laura, announced Tuesday that she was leaving her show because she wants her 1st Amendment rights back.

Original movie poster
(Click on image and then on that for larger version)

If only Dr. Laura could give Dr. Laura one of her famous tongue-lashings. Since she’s moping, we’ll try: The 1st Amendment is just fine. Schlessinger exercised her right to use a racial slur when criticizing her caller, and offended listeners exercised their right to criticize her for it. That’s America.

Or perhaps Schlessinger honestly does not understand the nature of the protections she says are being denied her. [The First Amendment] does not guarantee that the world will agree with radio hosts, only that the government will not censor them. The government didn’t demand Schlessinger’s ouster; listeners did.


Sarah Palin, apparently, also is confused. She tweeted: “Dr. Laura: don’t retreat…reload. (Steps aside bc her 1st amend. rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence isn’t American, not fair.)” It’s frightening that a former governor and candidate for the vice presidency thinks that public dissent is either un-American or unconstitutional.

Schlessinger isn’t quitting because she can’t say what’s on her mind; she just couldn’t take the heat after she did it.

From boingboing:

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is leaving radio to regain her “first amendment” rights on the internet. Welcome to the blogosphere, Dr. Laura! This follows her on-air use of the N-word to suggest that it shouldn’t always be taken as a slur.

It’s not clear exactly who Schlessinger claims took her free speech away, though she suggests special interest groups are silencing her by pressuring sponsors.


Schlessinger’s announcement — and her invocation of a constitutional right to earn a living from her speech — was made on Larry King Live. In it, King and Schlessinger both indulged the idea that the issue is about whether its OK for black people to use the N-word but not OK for whites.

“I thought I was trying to be helpful,” she told King. “I thought I was making a philosophical point.”


Laura’s not quitting because her constitutional rights are under threat, but because she said the N-Word eleven times in an act of childish transgressive spite and can’t take the heat. People get the criticism of our racial double-standards, but also get that she used that as a specious excuse to turn a caller’s personal problems into an inane tirade about something else entirely.

In watching the Larry King Live segment [Gawker TV], however, the most striking thing is how eager Schlessinger is to play the hapless, helpless victim herself.

From Ken Paulson, president of the First Amendment Center at YAHOO! NEWS:

In the wake of Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s decision to end her radio show after repeatedly using a racial epithet, she’s spent quite a bit of time talking about freedom of speech. “I want to regain my First Amendment rights,” Schlessinger said, contending that special-interest groups were limiting her freedom to express herself.

Sarah Palin jumped in and tweeted, “Dr.Laura: don’t retreat … reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence”isn’t American,not fair”)”

That was soon followed by a second tweet:

“Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles,so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice, America!)”


Though Palin speaks frequently of the need to protect the Constitution and elect politicians who understand it, in this case she is misreading the amendment and how it works.

Here are five facts about Dr. Laura and the First Amendment:

The First Amendment protects us from the government, and not from other Americans who disagree with what we have to say.

Boycotts are also protected by the First Amendment. Dr. Laura complains about being “bullied” by those who might pressure her radio affiliates or advertisers, but boycotts are a time-honored use of the First Amendment to address perceived wrongs […]

Efforts to punish controversial speech comes from the right and the left. It’s true that liberal organizations are attacking Dr. Laura for use of the racial epithet, just as conservative organizations burned Dixie Chicks CDs when Natalie Maines told a London audience that she was embarrassed that President Bush came from Texas.


The marketplace of ideas and the marketplace are different things.


Dr. Laura’s First Amendment rights are alive and well. Although she’s leaving her radio show, she says she’ll continue to share her views through public speaking, TV interviews, in print, online, and in a new book due in January, all made possible by the First Amendment.

A division of RNC Entertainment:


Filed under Chimpy, George W. Bush, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, movies, parody, politics, radio, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Scandals, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

32 responses to “Guffaw & Disorder: Special Victims Unit

  1. Where did everybody go? It must be free beer weekend or something. Now it’s a chore to find what’s most objectional about Laura, her racism, or homophobia, her money shots, etc. The thing that scares the hell out of me is that neck waddle! My eyes are drawn to it everytime her pix show up and it’s giving me stress. You would think by this time the Palin woman could at least work a little product placement into her rants for the extra dough. Something like “Don’t retreat..reload…with the new Remington 44 magnum 280 grain Nig-r-mort hollow points, available at Walmarts everywhere.” Don’t forget to pick up a couple of speed loaders!

    • i was wondering the same thing, jerry. my little heart is broken, because this is my favoritest poster in a while, and nobody but you came by to see it. 😥

      don’t give princess any ideas. her next book might come with coupons for bullets. i don’t put anything past her.

      i’d really love to see the 2 of them together. dr. whora has already called princess stoopit, and it would be hilarious to watch her having to stand on the sidelines with a forced rictus smile, trying to make believe that the shrieking shrew is saying anything intelligent.

      • writechic

        Dude. I fell asleep around 6 p.m. 😯

      • I was out with Inspired yesterday and got back late. Then I decided to play a video game. That screwed up my usual routine, including checkin in here.

        • i’m afraid i’ll need a note from you, too. 😉

          • Here’s a note–B flat.

            • snarkiness doesn’t help, mister.

              • Fortunately, I have established myself as an unreliable commenter on this blog because I’m too lazy to type in all my info every time I comment.
                Dr. Laura Shitslinger is one of those right-wing haters who eventually screws things up for herself by just being herself. The poisonous sludge always ends up rising to the top for all to see.
                Sooner or later, seahags like her, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Sharron Angle and the rest of these lunatics will say or do something horrible to permanently disgrace themselves.
                All we really need to do is sit back and watch them fall, one by one.

                • they’ll disgrace themselves, but, unfortunately, they’ll get rich doing so. therefore, others will follow who will see that’s it’s a pretty easy gig, so they’ll try to outdo their hate with their own. as long as faux news is on the air and rushbo and the other haters are allowed to spew their venom for big bucks, these hateful airheads will flourish.

  2. I’m much less concerned about Laura’s rights than I am about the fact that we allow talk hate to win the news cycle. It’s OUR airwaves she and her co-propaganda and hatred spewing jocks fill the air and start the memes that catch hold and end up being reported as actual news and foster polls, as if polls reflect truth. I wish someone would push to get our airways back. The media becomes the message and the righties have the media.

  3. writechic

    Love the headline! Love this poster! I’m dazzled by all the butt flair. 😆

  4. jeb

    “Credibility Gap Blue Jeans” ROFLMAO Nonnie.

    In their pig headed view, Consitutional rights are exclusive to only them. They get whatever rights they feel entitled too (you know how they always complain about entitlements) and their feelings are hurt and rights trampled by any bad things anyone has to say about them. The persecution complex is breathtaking in it’s scope. In the meantime – as pointed out above – they have no problem with their followers burning Dixie Chicks CDs or making the death threats they made because Natalie Maines dared to express an opinion.

    • That label is a winner! I also like the “edited in techniwhite” LOL 😉

      • filmed in techniwhite, actually. i finally saved that image, because i have a feeling i might be using it more often than i thought i was going to.

    • thanks for noticing my little joke, jeb. that was my favorite part of the whole poster.

      ever notice that those who purport to be all about free speech are the first ones to turn off someone else’s microphone or scream over them so they can’t be heard? o’reilly loves to shut off people’s mikes, and the teabaggers went to townhalls specifically to make sure that nobody but themselves were heard. they’re nothing but a bunch of bullies, and when confronted with that truth, they claim victimhood. they’re really disgusting.

      • jeb

        Or like when the Rethugs ran Congress and Conyers wanted to hold hearings on Abu Graib. The Rethug Chairman said no. When Conyers tried to hold hearings on his sub-committee, they had the hearing room locked so no hearings could take place.

        Or the free speech zones at the 2004 GooPer convention, etc, etc, etc…

  5. Well yeah, brilliant! Just what I’d expect; immediately one of my all-time nonnie faves. I always wondered what the R rating was for; makes perfect sense! (May contain morally objectionable behavior.) And even a cameo by “Cackle of Rads.” Priceless. But I’m dying to know what the little GOP logo has written across it; I just can’t make it out. . .

    • i didn’t mean to make you squint, mh! i’ve used the R-rating and the gop logo a few times before. i added the large version of the gooper logo as well as that of the parent company to the post so you can see them in all their glory. 😉

  6. Once upon a time, conservatives used to say that just because you have a right to speak, it doesn’t mean that you have the right to be on the air.

    Of course, that was back before conservatism was defined by snorting tea and such geniuses as currently lead the movement.

    Anyway … I love this poster, Nonnie! I know that I haven’t commented on a lot of them lately, but this one is great!

    Filmed in “Techniwhite.” Gotta love it …

    • thanks, wken! this one is on my list of faves, too.

      if only conservatives realized that, just because you have the right to speak, you also have a right to keep your big wazoo shut instead of saying something insulting and just plain stupid. you also have the right not to tweet, especially when it’s something as stupid as saying that dr. whora will be more dangerous with her “shackles” removed. princess is screeching about the insensitivity of mulsims by putting a community center in manhattan, but she sees nothing wrong with using terms associated with slavery or repeating the n-word over and over again. i honestly despise both of them.

  7. Joanaroo

    AM radio was great back in the days before FM became the desired music source. When the Fairness Doctrine existed and before the rules changed on how many stations an entity could own, you had a more diverse choice. Nowadays you could do away with AM radio and use the frequencies for emergency use, IMHO.

  8. Joanaroo

    Well, US stations that is. Just please keep airspace open for the CBC!

    • the only time i listen to the radio is in the car (and i drive very little lately), and i just listen to the oldies station. there was one liberal talk station here, and they changed it to sports a couple of years ago.

  9. Yes, that is a great poster Nonnie. And everyone eventually showed up. The world has been made right.

    • thank you, jerry. i feel much better now. at first, i thought wordpress had kicked me out, and you were the only one who figured out how to get here.

  10. this poster ranks with your all time best. dr laura is one of the most loathsome people to ever “grace” the airwaves.

    on every level this woman is what is wrong with humanity

    • thanks dcap! 🙂 i didn’t think this poster was going to be anything but mediocre when i first thought of it, but the more i worked on it, the more i liked it. it’s one of my faves now (even if that’s probably because i’ve forgotten most of the old ones).

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