Christine O’Donnell Isn’t Foolin’ Around!


Long before she became the latest fascination of the political press and the cause-of-the-moment of the Tea Party movement, Christine O’Donnell (R-D.E.) was appearing on news outlets large and small extolling the sins of not just sex but masturbation.

The Delaware Republican, who is challenging Rep. Mike Castle in the state’s Senate primary and has earned the financial backing of a portion of the Tea Party movement, made an appearance in the MTV series “Sex In The 90s.” Entitled “The Safest Sex Of All,” the episode was ostensibly geared towards understanding the importance of abstinence. But O’Donnell’s guidance went a bit further. Masturbation, she argued, is not a moral substitute for sex. “The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can’t masturbate without lust.”

Original poster
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“The reason that you don’t tell [people] that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because again it is not addressing the issue,” she extrapolated. “You’re just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, toying with his sexuality. Pardon the pun.”

The president of Saviors Alliance for Lifting the Truth (SALT), O’Donnell was, at the time, just becoming a visible voice in the pro-“chastity” movement. Her organization, a youth-based group started in 1996 with a focus on establishing conservative Christian values in college-aged kids, made frequent appearances on television in addition to lobbying Congress.


In November 1998 […] she wrote a piece for an outlet called the Cultural Dissident, discussing why simply being abstinent was not a lofty enough goal.

Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I do seek to surrender my entire life to the will of our Father. That is precisely why I don’t talk about abstinence or secondary virginity when I am asked to speak about sex. Abstinence is a physical discipline, not a calling. It makes our physical condition the goal.

Years later, she was part of a group of outraged religious conservatives who criticized President George W. Bush for allowing continued research on 60 stem cell lines that had already been developed (Bush’s position was considered restrictive in its own right). More recently, she suggested that age-appropriate sex education, even for kindergarteners, could convince children that strangers with candy were “not so creepy.”


The Castle campaign pledged on Thursday to launch negative advertisements against O’Donnell — a remarkable and undoubtedly unexpected use of funds from a candidate who was supposed to coast to victory.


Filed under Chimpy, Christianity, Congress, George W. Bush, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, Senate, snark, television, Wordpress Political Blogs

53 responses to “Christine O’Donnell Isn’t Foolin’ Around!

  1. She can’t be be much of a teabagger spouting that nonsense. Chicken chokers should unite and revolt…and burn an effigy of Augustine of Hippo for making up the anti-masturbation stuff.

  2. jeb

    Does Christine really expect to pull off a primary victory by appealing to the anti-onanism crowd? If she can then I thing we should all give her a hand.

    Before we get too far though, I want to ascertain there is no hypocrisy here. Does she have any songs like “Rosie,” “Dancing with myself,” or “I think I’m turning Japanese” on her iPod?

    And finally, is there some self-gratification involved in winning a political battle? These are very testy issues which need to be addressed.

  3. Ewwwww. Her voters have stink fingers! Yuck. Someone should tell Diebold to invent diddle finger detection lights. That’s the ticket.

  4. Onan was so about the withdrawal method.

  5. Who knew! An Onan theme song!

  6. Very funny poster! I always thought the idea was to find the key to her heart, but..or have to expect this sort of thing from people who, after getting married, have sex only on the birthday/Xmas cycle and then cower waiting for god to kill them for doing the nasty…”No, no Lord, we’re trying to concieve conservative children” they cry ou to no avail! Why they still make such a big deal out of playing weenie & bun is anybodies guess. The article mentioned that “she extrapolated”. Any photos?

    • thanks jerry! i don’t think anyone is rushing to call a locksmith for this bimbo. if you want someone who will roll over and play dead, get a dog. she did extrapolate. i hope she washed her hands afterward and then prayed for forgiveness.

  7. Wankers of the world unite! O’Donnell is never going to live this down — at least, we should do our level best to ensure that she doesn’t.

    It’s carrying their hands-off philosophy a bit far…..No wonder conservatives often seem so tense and antsy.

    Great poster.

  8. Gotts to come see Nonnie so’s I can read words like Onan the Barbarian and wankers unite. I am spitting Iced Tea all over Panera’s reading these comments. Nothing like trying one’s hand at sex to set the wheels in motion huh ? thanks Emo Phillips for that memorable turn of phrase, — did I just quite Emo Effing Phillips ? wanker. maybe she’s right

  9. Usnthem

    I have a feeling that Ms O’ Donnell will continue doing this until WE all go blind.
    But between her and Taitz, Palin or Bachmann, I’ll happily use the cane.
    … and yes, I do sell brain bleach.
    Why do you ask?

    • πŸ˜† wouldn’t it be funny if she writes notes on her hands like princess sarah, but she can’t read them, because her palms are covered with hair?

      that brain bleach–i’ll take 3 gallons. πŸ˜‰

  10. jeb

    Maybe it’s all a ruse and she’s just jerking us around.

  11. neon vincent (down here, ran out of thread room up there), forgive me, i bow to your geekness…geekitry…geekulosity.

  12. impeach

    Ooopss, sorry. Thought I was on a political site. You guys need a “Jr-High and Younger Only” warning on top of your page. (Ironic hipsterism is a classic sign of immaturity.)

  13. Chris

    I am curious what the reaction (at Huffington Post)would be if National Review had a picture of Hillary Clinton with her skirt blowing up. This is more Democrat sexism at work.

    • screw you. i was over at the website that had the link over here. not one person has chastised your little princess for her and her people implying that castle is gay. don’t play the misogyny card when your candidate is playing the gay card. as for hillary, it wasn’t democrats who set up Citizens United Not Timid (aka CUNT) to educate the public about “what Hillary Clinton really is.” where’s the link to your comments condemning roger stone?

      your little princess is the one who went on a show called sex in 90’s. she’s the one who is talking about abstinence and masturbation. she’s an intolerant moron, and she deserves all the derision she gets. if you don’t like it, then don’t come here.

  14. impeach

    poor widdle waisins..did em lose race against dat mean ol’ bimbo lady? no wonder you are kicking your widdle feet and yowling wit your widdle potty moufs. better hold on tight to blankies when those nasty ol’ elections come in november… or by beddie-bye time, de widdle kiddies might be so mad they’ll have to hold their breaths till they turn blue!

    • this is the last time i will respond to you, only to tell you what an asshole you are. i’m glad your virginal little chrissie won. the dem didn’t have a chance against castle. he does against this bimbo. now go flagellate yourself, or whatever you do to fight those sexual urges you aren’t supposed to succumb to.

    • So let me get this straightβ€” you spell that way, because that’s just the way you talk?
      because you think it’s clever?
      because you’ve never had to talk like an adult?
      because you can’t talk like an adult?
      because it’s a classic sign of immaturity?
      because you’re jealous of people who have talent?
      because you’re a condescending asshole?

      Oh wait. It’s all of those, isn’t it.

      • terry,
        they’re playing the old gender card. everyone is being mean to poor little chrissie, because she’s a girl. meanwhile, they didn’t utter a word of defense when little chrissie and her posse insinuated that mike castle is gay. for some reason, they believe that gay=evil. it’s fine to deride gays and to say people are gay when there is no evidence that they are, but you’re not allowed to say anything about little chrissie or princess sarah or the rest, because that’s misogynistic.

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  16. Usnthem

    Don’t let them get to you, Nonnie.
    Remember, they have nothing to laugh at.
    No candidates, no ideas and no successes in a long time.
    If you want a good laugh, simply go to Google and search for “McCain will win”, “Obama will lose” or variations on those themes.
    There’s thousands of posts by these same jerks who were CERTAIN Obama would never become president.
    The funniest ones are by the people who prayed too.
    When even God isn’t on your side, there’s nothing to laugh at any longer.

    • don’t worry about me, sweetie. they don’t get to me at all. i just wish they were a little more entertaining. they’re not even fun to argue with, because all they do is quote faux news and rushbo. so predictable. and so boring.

      • Oh, those guys. I didn’t go back far enough looking,only a weeks worth. For failing in my achival duty, please dock my internet bucks one weeks worth. Now the first one complemented you on your youthful vigor and energy. Thats why I play rock-n-roll, what a stern critic in the 60s refered to as “perpetual adolescense” (and the downside is…??) Now your second tormentor only reminded me of the first song I ever learned about the Three Little Fishes. The family used to sit out on the back porch and delighted in we little kids doing the funny words. But why is he so concerned about this red/blue nonsense when we all know at the Raisin that that little hottie Christine is going to turn Delaware into a big purple throbber!!!

        • i’ll never dock your pay, jerry. you do too good a job.

          you’re correct, of course. the first one was complimenting me, and i was just too defensive to realize it. πŸ™‚

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