We continue with nominations for the Mock, Paper, Scissors–Hysterical Raisins 1st Semi-Regular Macaca Awards.
(Image courtesy of Tengrain)
Tonight’s category is Outstanding Achievement in Promoting Fundamentalist Christian Theocracy and Pooping on the First Amendment, and the nominees are:
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Michele Bachmann–Minnesota’s Bathsit Bachmann wants to repeal a federal law that prevents houses of worship, from endorsing or opposing candidates. “We need to repeal that and give Christians back their First Amendment rights to free speech in the church.”
Carrie Prejean–I would explain Sister Carrie’s inclusion as a nominee, but I’m afraid it might be inappropriate.
Sarah Palin—Princess Sarah’s mind is boggled (that explains a lot) that everyone doesn’t realize that this is a Christian nation. How can she be a Christian when it appears that all she worships is herself and money? Just sayin’.
Glenn Beck–Blechhh is all about religion. Well, except for all that taking care of the poor stuff.
Sharron Angle—First Amendment? Nevada’s Obtuse Angle wants to make sure we’re not all violating the 1st Commandment.
Mike Huckabee–Chuckleberry is just so Jesusy!
Tony Perkins–The big daddy of the Family Research Council is a lot scarier than the other Tony Perkins ever was in Psycho!
Sam Brownback–1 Corinthians 15:33-34- “Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.” (Yeah, I can get all Bible-y when I need to!)
Glen Urquhart–The Delaware Congressional wannabe in his own words: The exact phrase ’separation of Church and State’ came out of Adolph Hitler’s mouth, that’s where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask them why they’re Nazis. (Rich Iott is a liberal?)
Dan Severson–Candidate for the Secretary of State of Minnesota says that the concept of church and state separation “does not exist in America…because we are a Christian nation.”
Todd Akin–The Missouri Congresscritter, in his own words: We could learn from the Pilgrims by understanding that the Bible is not just a book of how to be nice to people, it is an entire blueprint for the way civilization can be structured.
Let’s have a round of applause for our nominees.
Don’t forget to vote here .