We continue with nominations for the Mock, Paper, Scissors–Hysterical Raisins 1st Semi-Regular Macaca Awards.
(Image courtesy of Tengrain)
Tonight’s category is Outstanding Achievement in Humpin’ While Bible-Thumpin’, and the nominees are:
(Click on image and then on that for larger version)
Carl Paladino–The Republican candidate for governor of New York in his own words: I think my children or your children would be better off and more successful getting married and raising a family and I don’t want them to be brain washed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option, it isn’t. Yeah, they should follow in Ol’ Carl’s footsteps and cash the rent checks from his son’s gay bar in Buffalo. Well, that and have a daughter with a woman who isn’t his wife and keep her a secret for 9 years.
David Vitter–Diaper Davy is Louisiana’s very own conservative family values candidate, even though he’s frequented prostitutes and had an aide on his payroll for 2 years, even though the guy attacked his girlfriend with a knife.
Mark Sanford–2 words–Appalachian Trail.
George Alan Rekers–He’s a Baptist minister and a member of the founding board of the conservative Family Research Council, and he hates teh gay. Poor George has a lot of baggage, but luckily, he found someone to help him with his load.
Mark Souder–Remember Congresscritter Souder of Indiana? You will in a minute. He’s the guy who recorded those videos for a local cable access show with a women who was his part-time aide (for which she got paid $10,000-20,000 a year). They talked about the importance of abstinence. Only one problem: the now ex-Congressman, who is married and a conservative who couldn’t thump his Bible loudly enough was getting his dinky stinky with the aide (who is also married) since 2004!
John Edwards–It’s not just Rethuglicans, and it’s just as icky when it’s a Democrat.
Let’s have a round of applause for our nominees.
Click here to vote. Winners will be announced tomorrow.