This Guy’s Gonna Be Speaker of the House, For Cryin’ Out Loud!

From the Guardian:

You’d think that John Boehner would have seen enough drunks blubbering into their drinks at his dad’s tavern to be wary of easy tears.

You know, that humble boyhood tavern in Ohio Boehner is always talking about, where he mopped floors and waited tables, until he eventually worked his way up to becoming the third most powerful man in America after Tuesday’s epic Republican midterms victory.

Whereupon Boehner, telling a story he must have told hundreds of times in his career, choked up in tears recalling his own accomplishments.

Original DVD cover

Politicians do cry in public. The Bushes, father and son, have been known to shed a tear. Bill Clinton wells up. Barack Obama cried at a rally on the eve of the 2008 elections, when he learned the grandmother who had raised him had just died of cancer.

I might be less offended if Boehner had been crying about a 9.6% unemployment rate, or the tens of thousands of people who lost their homes at the stroke of an auto-signature pen in the wrongful foreclosure scandal.

But there is something unsavoury about seeing a well-off, white, middle-aged male overcome when the subject moving them to tears is their personal career track.


[Boehner] has cried accepting awards, at an unveiling of a statue of Ronald Reagan, and at a rousing chorus of America the Beautiful.

Is it genuine? That’s between Boehner and his handkerchief.

But it’s interesting to note that when Hillary Clinton teared up towards the end of a long and gruelling campaign for the New Hampshire primary in early 2008, conservative columnists accused her of faking it to win votes.

And, though it’s entirely unsurprising, there were no tears from Nancy Pelosi, who just lost her job as speaker on election day. Women politicians are still not permitted to cry in public, lest they be accused of being too soft for the job.

So, John, man up!

Original movie poster

Anyone else find it ironic that Boohoo Boehner isΒ such a nancy boy?Β  πŸ˜†


Filed under 2008 election, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Chimpy, Congress, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, humor, John Boehner, movies, Nancy Pelosi, parody, politics, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

36 responses to “This Guy’s Gonna Be Speaker of the House, For Cryin’ Out Loud!

  1. Nancy looks cute. But John’s complexion matching his tie is pretty cute, too.

    Remember when he cried a whole bunch about his brothers’ unemployment predicament? Oh yeah, that’s right, he didn’t know if his brothers were still unemployed.

  2. jeb

    When I think of all of the working people who bought into the myth that Boner and his crowd are selling – only to benefit their corporate donors – I want to cry.

  3. i’m watching real time, and darrell issa is on. he’s got a gigantic head! seriously, he belongs on easter island with john cornyn and queen nutmeg whitman.

    • OMG That was funny!
      I’ve seen Cornyn in person and his head is the size of an ATM machine.

      • you know who else, zippy? bristol palin has not only been the only contestant on dwts to gain weight, but her friggin’ head is getting bigger! not only that, but the bigger her head gets, the smaller her partner’s gets. i think her head is eating his. 😯

  4. Nonnie –

    I’ve decided that anytime I do a Tangerine Man “in his own words” post, I’m going to call it “Boehner, uncorked.”

    The man is iced to the eyebrows, as Noonan once said. (OK, I said it, but still…)



    • i think boohoo is still living in the world of mad men. he probably has bottles of booze and cigarettes everywhere. he probably drinks in his office, at home, in the bathroom, and at the golf course. it will be interesting to see if his words slur more and more as the pressure of being speaker (and having to make sure the middle-aged young guns aren’t stabbing him in the back) starts to weigh on him.

      • jeb

        You’re right about the pressure Nonnie. The Washington Post ran a big gush piece on him days before the election which nearly made me gag. What he and Yertle don’t know though is that they’re riding the tiger. All of the Teabagger candidates that are coming in are going to be screaming at him to burn down the house and we know that within a few months of being sworn in they’ll probably start foaming at the mouth for impeachment proceedings against Obama. Boo-boo is going to have to walk the line of the old establishment corporate toady while trying to manage a base that’s on fire. When he doesn’t deliver Eric (I’d sell my mother for power) Cantor will be pulling out the knives.

        Sure Boner wanted to be speaker but he’s going to find out that getting in bed with these folks ain’t going to be a pleasant little romp. The tears and mucous should become a regular part of life for the Boner.

        • i hope that batshit bachmann’s office is really close to boohoo’s so that she can stop by several times a day to make her demands. he’ll have to take his booze intravenously.

          • jeb

            I saw where she’s claiming she’s going to try for the number four position in the hierarchy. Normally, I would say I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy but the thought of her plaguing Boner and the rest of the Rethug leadership has too much entertainment value to feel bad for anyone.

  5. Inspired and I watched that speech. We thought he was drunk. In fact, we’re sure of it.

    • i think he’s usually drunk when he’s in front of the cameras. maybe he’s not comfortable with making speeches, or maybe he’s just a lush. my money’s on the latter.

  6. If when every time Boner switches into his fake crying mode, the camera were to gently avert its lens and stare intently at the ceiling,

    AND simultaneously the caption “oh for fuck’s sake, he’s crying again and there is snail slime coming out of his nose” were to appear at the bottom of the tv screen …

    well it might, just might, put a stop to all the crying antics for ever.

    Which in turn would greatly reduce the collective vomiting sensation felt by the nation at the prospect of Boner on their tv screens.

    (Hello Nonnie πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ , I’m back on internet again πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ :D)

    P.S. Have look at last Tuesday’s stats!

    (OK, I know you looked already) πŸ™‚

    P.P.S. If you type your comment between
    <code> -- them things -- </code>,
    your comment comes out green!

    • mighty mikk0mouse!!!!!

      you won’t believe me, but somehow i knew you were going to show up! πŸ˜€ for the last couple of weeks, i had a feeling that you were going to find you way to the internets again, but i didn’t know that you’d bring a new trick with you! all i can say is yayyyyy!!!!

      i’m hoping for a cry-off between boohoo boehner and glenn blechhh. it will be a snotfest for the ages! πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯ πŸ˜₯

  7. jeb

    An alternative title for this story (or future ones about his crying jags) could be “Tears of a clown.”

  8. jean-philippe

    An orange man shouldn’t wear orange ties.

  9. Wha’d I miss? Pelosi is out & Orange boy is in. Oh crap! Wait till he realizes in the big scheme of things, less time @ the golf course.

    Poor John B…. he may have to start drinking the fake tan stuff.

  10. The dude has a lot of screws loose. Since this posting, he did the 60 Minutes interview and blubbered three times on air.