The Great Rethuglican Toy Catalog

Hey, kids, Chanukah starts tonight, and the War on Christmas is just around the corner, so those of you who still have jobs, can afford to buy some presents, and have a few Rethuglican kids on your gift list, you might want to start thinking about what kind of toys you might want to purchase. Well, you know that I’m always here to help! This afternoon, I visited a store with lots of different toys to choose from…
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So, what are you interested in? Something for a boy who might be tired of that G.I. Joe who got thrown out of the military under DADT? Well, no worries, kids, I’ve gotcha covered. How about an awesome Mitt Romney action figure?
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If you’d rather the kids had something that will help build eye-hand coordination while learning that, if you’re loud enough, you can say all kinds of stupid things and get away with it, then Rethugs Π― Us has just the right toy–the Rush Limbaugh Erection Set (Viagra sold separately)…
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But don’t worry, kids, I haven’t forgotten those little Rethuglican girls. There are plenty of toys for them, too! Do they like dolls? Well, there are plenty of Barbie dolls to choose from. There’s the classic Princess Sarah Caribou Barbie…
(Wolf Patrol Helicopter sold separately)
If the little lasses like to pretend they’re heiresses, there’s the Cindy Lou McCain collection…
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(Private jet and prescriptions sold separately)
If they don’t like Barbies, no worries. If they want something with a harder edge, here’s the Liz Cheney doll…
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If they don’t like dolls at all, how about a nice tea set? There are some for girls, like the Orly Taitz/Michele Bachmann set…
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…and some for boys, like the Mark Sanford/Rick Perry one…
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Why, even Michael Steele has one (though that only has service for one)!
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Of course, they’ll need some treats to serve at those tea parties, so how about an Easy Bake Oven?
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Of course, if you don’t want to spend too much, and you just want a little something for the kids to open, you can’t go wrong with a simple yo-yo!
Happy shopping!


Filed under humor, Mitt Romney, parody, politics, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

37 responses to “The Great Rethuglican Toy Catalog

  1. I have to have the Liz Cheney doll and the half-baked oven!!!!!!!!! Muahahahahaha, god your fucking awesome chica! πŸ˜‰

  2. Happy Chanukah! πŸ˜€

    I used the last of my menorah candles last year. My kids used to be really into it because they want to celebrate everything and get presents. πŸ˜€

    Does “Lizzy Daughter of Evil” happen to come with straight pins? If yes, I’ll order one. πŸ˜‰

  3. jeb

    Arrrrrrgggghhhhh! What have my kids ever done to deserve any of this?! It would be preferable just to give them lumps of coal in their stockings.

    I know you didn’t include costs but I must say that the Rushbo Erection Set is priceless (Viagra sold separately of course).

    • they’re not for your kids, jeb, they’re for rethug kids. not sure how much any of the toys cost, but i think i read something at the cash register that they only accept money received from the bush tax cuts for the top 2%.

  4. Mitt Romney=Plastic Man. That’s perfect! It’s even better than calling him the biggest stuffed shirt I’ve ever seen in national Republican politics, and I’ve been following the GOP since 1968!

    • that was from one of my old american street diaries. plastic fits mittsie perfectly, because not only does he look like he was poured in a mold, but he’s so pliable. he’ll change any position and kiss anyone’s ass in order to get elected.

  5. Shit! I wasn’t gonna do Xmas this year; now I find I want one of everything on this page! Just for MY office! Where oh where can I find a Rethugs R Us??

    • no worries, terry, it doesn’t have to cost you a cent. i’ll find out where the rethugs ‘r us store is, and we’ll shoplift whatever items we want. πŸ™‚

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  7. ‘Wolf Patrol Helicopter’…Oh, that’s just shameless, Nonnie.


    ‘…you can’t go wrong with a simple yo-yo!’

    Or Clackers!


    • every barbie needs her accessories. πŸ™‚

      batshit bachmann/princess sarah clackers would be a perfect gift. i can just hear the jingle now–they keep yakkin’ while you keep clackin’!

  8. A true winner nonnie. But I have a question. When did real cowboys start drinking tea?

    I’d like to get the Rick Perry set but the Erection set looks temptign too.

  9. ROTFL! This was great. I can see lots of good opportunities for gifts for my Republican friends. Oops, wait, I forgot! I don’t have any!

  10. jean-philippe

    Awww… no one wants to play with little Michael… 😦

  11. what do we get Sharon Angle, Christine ODonell, Joe Miller and Ken Buck – what kind of loser tea sets are there..

    nonnie – you really need to be the host of the Tonite Show, not the incredibly boring Jay Leno

    • they only get coal–clean coal, of course (which means they get nuthin’ ’cause there ain’t no such thing).

      if you see some of the bigwigs about, tell them i’ll be available to host the tonight show starting a week from monday. i’ll be away this week. πŸ˜‰

  12. An irony of modern Xmas. You see it in all kinds of advertising. On cards and big displays in malls. An icon, a mainstay! The train set. As a boy, I would pour over the Sears and Wards and Penneys catalogs studying page after page to pick out the one I wanted most and would never get, although in grown up years, I went to train shows and bought all that old stuff that could be found. The irony you ask? Just go out and try to find one!

    • i once dated a guy who collected trains. we went to a couple of train shows, and i loved them. i tried to get the offspring into model trains, but that didn’t last long.

  13. You’ve been to train shows? That is just so cool!!!