Tears of a Bronzo the Clown

From Jonathan Capehart at POST PARTISAN at The Washington Post:

One of the perks of being in the Fourth Estate is that sometimes you get the transcripts of news shows before they air. So it was with great delight that I read the “60 Minutes” interview with Speaker-designate John Boehner (R-Ohio). It read well, especially the stuff on how “dark skin” Boehner was as easily prone to crying as the Pillsbury Doughboy was prone to giggling when poked in the stomach. But, man, when I watched the interview, I kept thinking, “Dude, c’mon!”

thecryinggame-2Original movie poster
(About time I update that poster!)

Boehner blubbers twice in front of Lesley Stahl during the interview. […Y]ou will see his face uncomfortably contort as he talks about why he refuses to visit schools anymore. And then he does it at the end of the interview with his wife by his side.


As I wrote last month about Boehner’s election night waterworks, he humanized himself with his tearful talk of working hard to achieve the American Dream. That being said, watching Boehner cry while saying that he can’t visit a school anymore was a bit much.

Stahl: On election night, what made you sad, what got to you that night?

Boehner: I was talking, trying to talk about the fact that I’ve been chasing the American Dream my whole career. There’s some things that are very difficult to talk about. Family. Kids. I can’t go to a school anymore. I used to go to a lot of schools. And you see all these little kids running around. Can’t talk about it.

Stahl: Why?

Boehner: Making sure that these kids have a shot at the American Dream, like I did. It’s important.


But I’m still trying to square this heartfelt concern with Republican opposition last month to extending the unemployment insurance (while supporting tax cuts for the wealthy) that might help keep the parents of those “little kids running around” from sliding deeper into economic misery.


Filed under Congress, humor, John Boehner, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

44 responses to “Tears of a Bronzo the Clown

  1. jean-philippe

    The magic works… I’m hearing Boy George…

  2. Maybe what makes him sad is seeing these kids in school, instead of sweat shops where they belong.

    Or knowing that those kids are there on the federal dime, distributed by the evil Department of Education.

    Or maybe, like Ralph Hall, he thinks that some of them should be pursuing other career options.


  3. jeb

    I’m crying with laughter. What a bull shit artist he is. But the real question is, where does he get the waterproof orange agent for that healthy glow sans streaking?

    • did you see the interview? i was watching it sunday night, and i just kept thinking how the rethugs would have attacked nancy pelosi is she slobbered like that. it would be one thing if he cried over something substantial, but he bawled about everything. i still think he was drunk.

  4. Distributorcap

    Boner is gonna milk this for all he can. And the media is stepping right into it. The sensitive man. The ONLY place this guy is sensitive is in his wallet, not even there. Two years of agent orange and his crocodile tears is gonna be too much to endure.

    • i don’t think this was a good thing for him. i think most people are wondering if he was drunk or if he’s mentally unbalanced.

      • The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Inspired thinks he should go to therapy because of the cognitive dissonance he’s apparently experiencing because of the conflict between his experience and his ideology.

        • (in my best boohoo bronzo the clown yell) hell no he shouldn’t!!! i want him to be on tv all the time, weeping like a hormonal woman who can’t find the chocolate. let him be the face of the rethuglican party. most people vote with their gut, not armed with what’s actually going on in government. let them spend the next 2 years wondering how this possibly deranged, possibly shit-faced drunk crybaby was chosen to be the head of the rethugs in the house.

          • He was chosen because he handed out checks from the tobacco lobby as campaign contributions 15 years ago.

            • exactly! and at first, i was pissed that lesley stahl hadn’t asked him about it. upon further reflection, though, it didn’t really matter. most people would just brush that off as business as usual in congress. i’d rather they wonder about his sobriety and/or his sanity.

  5. Waterworx! That’s a nice, fat juicy tear, but I looked at his face too long and it started to seem like a demon is emerging from his chin. 😯

  6. J. Tunnessen

    This is hilarious – I love it. In fact, I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes…uh oh…is my nose getting stuffy….what is happening…I’m being Boehnerfied… please don’t let the tears destroy my keyboard.

    • hello j. tunnessen,

      welcome to the raisin! πŸ˜€

      let me get you a box of tissues. we don’t want you getting all congested, or worse–boehnerfied! the next thing you know, you’ll be turning orange, and we can’t have that. πŸ˜‰

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  8. “Hormonal woman looking for chocolate”!! Did you know my X???? I just can’t stop laughing at that one! And you are so spot on about Nancy. They would crucify her and start babeling on about how the weaker sex should know their place and just for good measure, introduce a bill to allow foot binding so the women can’t run off. Since the schoolkids have the bonerman so rattled, it’s time for a little payback. He should get the gypsy woman to conjure up the spirit of Ronald the Infallable and find out how to implement one of his pet ideas from the 1980 campaign: total elimination of any government/USDA support to feed poor children. The practice seemed to be a big deal to The Profit but alas, it never stoped. The new speaker could be known as the one who cut off food to millions of little kids. Now it would be their turn to cry! …and from the Paul Rodriguez stand up on Do You Want To Hurt Me: “Do I want to hurt you? I got cousins from Chino that would line up and pay five bucks apiece to slap the shit out of you!”

    • i don’t have to know your ex. if i ever ran out of chocolate, they’d have to scrape me off the walls. funny, when i was a kid, i loved sweets, but i was never a big fan of chocolate. now, i can’t live without it.

      there’s such a ridiculous double standard, in d.c. and everywhere else. oh well, this too shall change, but it will take time.

      i see that the stock market is up again, and the big corporations are doing just dandy. meanwhile, little kids are going hungry and won’t get any presents this year. i hope the teabaggers are happy.

      i love that quote from paul rodriguez! πŸ˜†

  9. p.s. Tears are full of toxins. Since the Republicans are so full of shit, they should all be sobbing uncontrollably.

  10. afrankangle

    “Bronzo” …. wow … first time heard that one. But hey – he’s just a sensitive guy – especially realizing that his party helps add obstacles what he want he wants for youth today.

  11. I’m verklempt! I have to go get some Kleenex now– Tawk amongst yourselves… I’l l give you a topic:

    Boehner! He’s no Barbra Streisand!

    Investigative journalists…. Did Johnny B miss a t time on this tearful day??
    He may just be secretly missing the country club @ the golf course.
    Sniffle, sniffle

    • let me get you a tissue. hey wait!! you’re female! you’re not allowed to cry. it means you’re weak. put your man pants on. this isn’t a bake-off, you know. πŸ˜‰

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