A Few of My Favorite Zings

To the tune of My Favorite Things (music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein):

Health care and midterms and all kinds of fighting,
Rallies and scandals, it was so exciting,
Tea party darlings were at it again,
All this shit happened in 2010.

Nothing but heartache for millions of Haitians,
While dumb old Pat Robertson hurled accusations,
John Roberts’ activist band of Supremes,
Were simply the court of a lobbyist’s dreams.

If Coakley had known a bit more about sports,
Scott Brown would be home in his pink leather shorts,
Carly was running, with pockets quite deep,
And giving us nightmares with her Demon Sheep.

If you’re hungry,
Get a snack, kids,
Whether sweet or starch,
We have to review all that happened this year,
And we’re only up to March.

Kentucky’s Jim Bunning, for his own enjoyment,
Said Tough shit! to those who are on unemployment,
In Texas, rewriting our history‘s neat,
And Kay fought with Rick for the governor’s seat.

The GOP proved to be less than discreet,
Bondage clubs, and the big mess on C Street,
Barbour’s a bigot, Paladino’s a creep,
Sue Lowden can get you a doctor’s care cheep.

Republicans wish they could resurrect Reagan,
He wouldn’t have stuck them with Elena Kagan,
She must be a lesbian! She’s way too short!
And there are just too many Jews on the court!

Take a break, kids,
Have a sandwich,
Hope we’ll be done soon,
But an awful lot happened,
That we must explore,
And we’re only up to June.

Though oil was still oozing, and tempers were rising,
Joe Barton could not do enough ‘pologizing,
Oh gee, Tony Hayward, why must they attack,
When all that counts is that you get your life back?

The Rethugs are crazy, no ifs, ands, or maybes,
How else to explain Gohmert’s terrorist babies?
Stanley McChrystal learned you should postpone,
Drinking when you’re talking to Rolling Stone.

With no common sense and not one bit of knowledge,
Glenn Beck decided to start his own college,
Palin keeps tweeting, can’t get her facts straight,
Something she finds hard to re-fu-di-ate.

Hold on tight, kids,
Don’t get sleepy,
Have a piece of pie,
And don’t give up hope,
That we’ll ever get through,
We’re almost done with July.

When Breitbart got done, Ms Sherrod was still slandered,
By good old Faux News (bigotry is their standard),
And then they took time to stir up some old fears,
By giving the mike to anti-mosqueteers.

Mean Dr. Laura, she sure had a ball,
Repeating the N-world (Thirteen times in all),
But she was the victim, and suffered such slights,
Thank goodness, Glenn Beck just reclaimed civil rights.

Christine O’Donnell,Β  a dumb Palin clone,
Says Don’t masturbate, leave your privates alone!
Be careful of mice, they might have human brains!
She lives off of money from all her campaigns.

You still there, kids?
Take a pee break,
And then pop a beer,
We had better hurry,
And finish this song,
Before it’s another year.

Business has this country over a barrel,
Rich Iott dresses in Nazi apparel,
Juan Williams got fired, continues to moan,
Ginny Thomas should just step away from the phone.

Things are a mess for New Yawk’s Charlie Rangel,
Reid puts his pants on and beats Sharron Angle,
There’s a jarred fetus in Chimpy’s new book,
Tom Delay’s guilty, the man is a crook.

Congress is reeling, no surprise, that’s in keeping,
With a Teabagger caucus (that’s why Bronzo’s weeping),
Don’t Ask is repealed, McCain’s head starts to spin,
He’s feeling as weak as Mitch McConnell‘s chin.

That’s the story,
In a nutshell,
All there is to tell,
So we’ll start all over,
Until it’s next year,
And we’ll do it all


Filed under Anita Hill, Barack Obama, Barbara Bush, Books, Chimpy, Congress, Fox News, Gay rights, George W. Bush, Glenn Beck, Harry Reid, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, John Boehner, John McCain, John Roberts, Jon Kyl, Media, Mitch McConnell, movies, MSNBC, parody, Pat Robertson, politics, radio, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, Scandals, Senate, snark, Supreme Court, Texas, Tom Delay, Wordpress Political Blogs

33 responses to “A Few of My Favorite Zings

  1. kids, so sorry to be soooooo late. at 8:00 this evening, i realized i had absolutely nothing to post, and i kept going back and forth on what i wanted to do. i will send myself to bed without any supper for putting off my homework until way after it was due.

    i wish all my dear raisinettes a wonderful, safe, happy, and healthy new year. i love you kids! πŸ˜€

  2. Another year of too funny… Happy New Year to all! Since I don’t have a Chevy to drive to the levee, I’ll take the bus instead. Cheers!

  3. Friend of the court

    Happy New Year, nonnie! you are a “drop of golden sun”. today is 01/01/11, a good number for a new start.

  4. That was great! See you in a week, when I get back from visiting my mom and sisters!

  5. Nonnie, Happy New Year and I hope the Rethugs provide you w/fodder the whole coming year. Hugs sista woman! πŸ˜‰

  6. jean-philippe

    I am Sarah πŸ˜€ almost forgot…

    The crying game might be the best overall… πŸ™‚

    You rock, Nonnie…

    • you’re not sarah….ooooh! i get it. πŸ˜‰

      i get the feeling that updating that bronzo the clown poster will have been a good investment in time, as i bet i’ll be using it quite often as the teabaggers make bronzo more and more unstable as the session goes on.

      you rock, too, j-p. bonne annΓ©e et bonne santΓ©.

      • jean-philippe

        Boy George should sing the Crying Game every morning in the House before the first order or business.

        Same to you, Nonnie… Health for the hand are whatever the hand is attached to… πŸ™‚

  7. fireflynw

    Nonnie, you are a treasure. Have the happiest of New Years, and thank you for keeping us laughing.

    • hello fireflynw,

      welcome to the raisin! πŸ˜€

      let’s hope that this year will bring us much laughter, even if some if it is only to take the sting out.

      thanks for your kind words, and happy new year. hope you’ll stop by and comment often. πŸ™‚

  8. Nonnie~ YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF HERE! I was laughing all the way through this tune… splended dahlink!
    Keep up z good work– cause if we could not laugh, we would go insane…. and clearly so many on this list are already there!

    What a strange year– with the demon sheep & the chicken barter lady & joe barton’s blathering to BP’s Hayward.

    • thanks fran! πŸ˜€

      i wish i had started writing the song before it was a last minute deal. there was so much i left out–jan brewer and her hatefulness, joe arpaio, joe miller in alaska and some of the other crazy candidates, and the lame duck session. it really was quite a year for snark. with the rethugs in charge of the house, and crapheads like darrell issa and joe barton in charge of committees (not to mention batshit bachmann on the intel committee), the snark will be all that keeps us from going totally insane.

      happy new year to you and the family, sweetie.

  9. carolita

    Hi, Nonnie,
    What a wonderful tribute to 2010. And that has to be the best pic of Joe Barton ever! Nobody does it like you, darlin’.


    • caro!!!! πŸ˜€

      my new year just got off to a wonderful start, because i was wonderfully surprised that you stopped by to comment! πŸ˜€

      that’s a good pic of joe barton, because he’s in his natural state.

      thanks for stopping by, caro! you know i ♥ you!

  10. Happy New year to you Queen Raisin……
    You bring laughs to our otherwise newz that could make us snooze…. or rankle us to the core.

    You can be late any old time…. there will be no pay cuts OR demerits!

    • you don’t have to call me queen shit raisin. your majesty will do. πŸ˜‰

      i’m glad there are no pay cuts, because tonight i’m taking my first break from posting that doesn’t involve any injuries or computer problems. i might do this every 3 years! πŸ˜‰

  11. Radiowalla

    Hey, Nonnie,
    Let me get in line to wish you a very Happy New Year.
    2011 is going to be much better than 2010, I promise.

  12. Best wishes for the New Year and a bravo for another fun year of the raisin! I would put your name forward for the honours list so you would become a Dame, but I suspect you already are. Don’t sweat a lost day this time of year. We started rocking last night at 10PM and went to 5:30 and total exhaustion, but it sure was fun. The coming year will be a much lighter workload because the jokes will write themselves. The return of the Reagbolah (Party of God) to run the House of Represenatives and most fun of all, the official kickoff of the prez nomination marathon. As a notorious commie once put it: “Let 100 Moes bloom”.

    • happy new year, jerry! πŸ˜€ so glad you enjoyed your all-night jam session. how’s those mountain echoes sound? i felt a little guilty about not posting, but it was actually quite liberating, too.

      i’m sure this year will be lots of yucks, especially watching yertle and bronzo the clown trying to deal with all the teabaggers and the rethugs tripping over themselves trying to diss princess sarah without pissing off her faithful in their quest to get the 2012 nom.

  13. the loon

    i just emailed you to suggest that you slow down. that’s like telling chimpy, princess sara and chrissy-not-a-witch to become smart. what was i thinking?

    thanks for a wonderful year in review kiddo. your wit and photoshop skills are hard to beat.

    • loonietic! πŸ˜€

      i might be slowing down involuntarily. we’ll see how much abuse my back can take and go from there. you may continue to nag me, though, because that’s a twinsie’s prerogative. πŸ˜‰

  14. afrankangle

    Still LMAO … We should do this as the opening act to the Oscars. Happy New Year!

    • happy new year, afa! πŸ˜€ you just reminded me of those songs billy crystal used to do on the oscars. i would watch and wish i could get a job writing that kind of stuff for a living. maybe next lifetime.

  15. Happy New Year, Nonnie. May all the good things in life be yours, and may your enemies be made responsible for all the bills.