A Few of My Favorite Zings

To the tune of My Favorite Things (music by Richard Rodgers, lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein):

Health care and midterms and all kinds of fighting,
Rallies and scandals, it was so exciting,
Tea party darlings were at it again,
All this shit happened in 2010.

Nothing but heartache for millions of Haitians,
While dumb old Pat Robertson hurled accusations,
John Roberts’ activist band of Supremes,
Were simply the court of a lobbyist’s dreams.

If Coakley had known a bit more about sports,
Scott Brown would be home in his pink leather shorts,
Carly was running, with pockets quite deep,
And giving us nightmares with her Demon Sheep.

If you’re hungry,
Get a snack, kids,
Whether sweet or starch,
We have to review all that happened this year,
And we’re only up to March.

Kentucky’s Jim Bunning, for his own enjoyment,
Said Tough shit! to those who are on unemployment,
In Texas, rewriting our history‘s neat,
And Kay fought with Rick for the governor’s seat.

The GOP proved to be less than discreet,
Bondage clubs, and the big mess on C Street,
Barbour’s a bigot, Paladino’s a creep,
Sue Lowden can get you a doctor’s care cheep.

Republicans wish they could resurrect Reagan,
He wouldn’t have stuck them with Elena Kagan,
She must be a lesbian! She’s way too short!
And there are just too many Jews on the court!

Take a break, kids,
Have a sandwich,
Hope we’ll be done soon,
But an awful lot happened,
That we must explore,
And we’re only up to June.

Though oil was still oozing, and tempers were rising,
Joe Barton could not do enough ‘pologizing,
Oh gee, Tony Hayward, why must they attack,
When all that counts is that you get your life back?

The Rethugs are crazy, no ifs, ands, or maybes,
How else to explain Gohmert’s terrorist babies?
Stanley McChrystal learned you should postpone,
Drinking when you’re talking to Rolling Stone.

With no common sense and not one bit of knowledge,
Glenn Beck decided to start his own college,
Palin keeps tweeting, can’t get her facts straight,
Something she finds hard to re-fu-di-ate.

Hold on tight, kids,
Don’t get sleepy,
Have a piece of pie,
And don’t give up hope,
That we’ll ever get through,
We’re almost done with July.

When Breitbart got done, Ms Sherrod was still slandered,
By good old Faux News (bigotry is their standard),
And then they took time to stir up some old fears,
By giving the mike to anti-mosqueteers.

Mean Dr. Laura, she sure had a ball,
Repeating the N-world (Thirteen times in all),
But she was the victim, and suffered such slights,
Thank goodness, Glenn Beck just reclaimed civil rights.

Christine O’Donnell,  a dumb Palin clone,
Says Don’t masturbate, leave your privates alone!
Be careful of mice, they might have human brains!
She lives off of money from all her campaigns.

You still there, kids?
Take a pee break,
And then pop a beer,
We had better hurry,
And finish this song,
Before it’s another year.

Business has this country over a barrel,
Rich Iott dresses in Nazi apparel,
Juan Williams got fired, continues to moan,
Ginny Thomas should just step away from the phone.

Things are a mess for New Yawk’s Charlie Rangel,
Reid puts his pants on and beats Sharron Angle,
There’s a jarred fetus in Chimpy’s new book,
Tom Delay’s guilty, the man is a crook.

Congress is reeling, no surprise, that’s in keeping,
With a Teabagger caucus (that’s why Bronzo’s weeping),
Don’t Ask is repealed, McCain’s head starts to spin,
He’s feeling as weak as Mitch McConnell‘s chin.

That’s the story,
In a nutshell,
All there is to tell,
So we’ll start all over,
Until it’s next year,
And we’ll do it all
Again!