Custom Maid

(CNN) — Amid a number of bills filed in Texas that address the issue of illegal immigration, one, proposed by Republican state Rep. Debbie Riddle, stands out.

As proposed, House Bill 1202 would create tough state punishments for those who “intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly” hire an unauthorized immigrant. Violators could face up to two years in jail and a fine of up to $10,000.

But it is an exception included in the bill that is drawing attention. Those who hire unauthorized immigrants would be in violation of the law — unless they are hiring a maid, a lawn caretaker or another houseworker.

You know, people that a lot of rich people hire and pay crappy wages to.

Original DVD cover

Texas state Rep. Aaron Pena, a Republican, said the exception is a wise one.

“With things as they are today, her bill will see a large segment of the Texas population in prison” if it passes without the exception, he said.

“When it comes to household employees or yard workers it is extremely common for Texans to hire people who are likely undocumented workers,” Pena said. “It is so common it is overlooked.”


The Texas legislature convenes only once every two years, so Texas has not passed tough anti-illegal immigration laws like some other states.


Another bill would place an 8% surcharge on all money wired from Texas to Latin America. About $480 million could be collected from money sent to Mexico alone, the representative said. The proceeds would be earmarked for state hospitals.

A third bill would require police officers to ask every person they stop what their citizenship status is.

Amid all of these tough proposals, why the large exception to Riddle’s bill on hiring unauthorized workers?

Riddle did not return repeated calls for comment. Her office said she would not comment on the bill because it could still be modified.

In a interview with the Texas Tribune, Riddle’s chief of staff, Jon English, explained that the exception was to avoid “stifling the economic engine” in Texas.

But, Debbie, what if some of those maids are carrying terror babies? Don’t you remember what you said before? From THE HUFFINGTON POST (August 11, 2010):

Riddle appeared on “Anderson Cooper 360” to discuss the threat of “terror babies” — a supposed threat in which terrorist organizations send pregnant women to the United States to have their children, who would be US citizens but trained and raised abroad to be terrorists and could enter and leave the US without raising suspicion.

Riddle based her claims on her conversations with “former FBI officials” but Cooper demanded evidence.

“What former FBI officials?” he asked. “What evidence is there of some sort of long-term plot to have American babies born here and then become terrorists?

“Well, at this point, I don’t have the hard evidence right here in front of me,” Riddle responded. She would not reveal her ex-FBI sources or the basis for their claims, and then tried to change the subject to porous borders and the threat of dirty bombs.



Filed under CNN, FBI, humor, Immigration, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Texas, Wordpress Political Blogs

30 responses to “Custom Maid

  1. jeb

    Molly Ivins used to claim that covering the Texas Lege was full time entertainment. In other words, this might seem bizarre or hypocritical anywhere else but it will make perfect sense there.

    • unfortunately, instead of what’s going on in texas serving as a cautionary tale, it seems to be inspiration for a lot of batshit legislatures across the country.

  2. and don’t forget another of Debbie’s pearls from an interview with the ElPaso Times
    “Where did this idea come from that everybody deserves free education, free medical care, free whatever? It comes from Moscow, from Russia. It comes straight out of the pit of hell. And it’s cleverly disguised as having a tender heart, [but] it’s ripping the heart out of this country.”
    In response, a few Texas legislators sported stickers reading “I’m from the pit of hell.”

    • hello nyc edge,

      welcome to the raisin! 😀

      i hadn’t heard that about her before. she’s just a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped up in bullshit, isn’t she?

      p.s. i was looking at your pictures, and i was getting homesick.

      • I hadn’t heard of her before the CNN spot either — so many batshit teabaggers out there, it’s hard to keep track without having your head explode!
        thanks for the welcome and for the wonderfully funny & informative site

        • they’re like tribbles! first, there are only a couple, and they’re kind of amusing, but they just keep multiplying, and they become dangerous pests.

          glad you like the raisin. hope you’ll be a frequent visitor, nyc edge! 😀

  3. Another example of out-sourcing. They won’t hire an American worker and withold Social Security. And bet me that is part of the proposed legislation.


  4. What a load of crap!
    Will she try to play the diversity card on this one?

    We just want to have some illegals, you know, the essential ones for uppity Stepford wives types– hiring a maid, a lawn caretaker or another houseworker.

    She could add a few- shoeshines boys, pool maintenance workers, window washers, babysitters, and pet caretakers.

    What about all that uproar over illegals taking away “American jobs”– not finding hoards of US workers eager to scrub Debbie Riddle’s toilets??

    Someone ought to tell her he hypocrisy is showing!

    Hey who is in the framed photo on the wall?

    • i’m thinking that little debbie might have a poolboy named alejandro and a nanny named valentina at her house. if she doesn’t, then some of her rich friends do.

      whenever you’re in doubt, fran, check the tags. that’s gov little ricky goodhair hanging on the wall.

  5. jean-philippe

    It seems to be April fool all year long in Texas…

  6. Now you see why I left. And thanks Nonnie for getting that quote right. Now let us consider “working around the house”. Can’t help but to notice in the remodel business that when the forms are being set for concrete (around the house) it’s Mexicans. Most installed drywall (around the house) is done by Mexicans. ALL stone countertops in kitchen remodels (around the house, of course) are cut and installed by..wait for it…Mexicans! This is the same lameass argument that racist used against negroes in the fifties. They hate them all, unless they are wiping the babys ass or making dinner. PS-got a topic idea for you reading about the demise of a certain ex AK gov. See if you can find a good poster of Huckaby Fin.

  7. or is it AR? I hate the two letter code.

  8. Snoring Dog Studio

    “Stifling the economic engine.” A few minutes went by while I wiped the coffee off my keyboard. The economic engine that allows undocumented workers to be paid slave wages. That’s all it is. In what twisted kind of logic would we ever believe the need for this bill will allow the “smart” folks in Texas to attend to the important work of creating jobs, building industries. It’s just government sanctioned slave labor AND racism.

    Someone find the machine that’s spitting out these lunatics and destroy it.

    • the really ridiculous thing is that the law won’t even be enforced. it might be used occasionally to punish a business here and there that doesn’t support the rethugs, but it will be business as usual for the most part. what it will do is give cover to those people who want to run but who have a nanny problem. i think that’s the real impetus for pushing this ridiculous crap.

  9. MNLatteLiberal

    a limousine liberal, i am for saving money on my chauffeur. but that Pena proposal is Riddled with lamentable lack of details. how would i go about getting my illegal driver a license? and would that make him legal?

    maids, lawn workers, rental concubines – that’s all small potatoes. where are the provisions for butlers, gay underage baggage handlers and sommeliers?

    and you know, the hidden danger lurking in illegal gardeners is that your very gardener can become a Manchurian Candidate:

    I want to party with Ms. Riddle. I think we could have such fun!

    ~ MN “i like to watch” Liberal.

    PS: So looking forward to the teabagged GOP primary season!

    • i know how you feel, latte. i’m practically tripping over all the domestic help i have. i’d fire some of them, but being the kindhearted person i am, i allow them to pick up after me and then split whatever i left over on my plate. that said, i’m always keeping an eye on them, because you never know when one of them is going to drop one of those terrorist babies.

      p.s. don’t use the embed code for youtube. just copy the regular url from the top. i fixed it so that the video shows up here. 🙂

  10. South Austin Viceroy

    She’s from Fort Bend County, which is the county directly SE of Harris County (Houston). Trust me, she’s more than a Tea Partier – she most likely follows the ilk of John Birch and Ayn Rand.

    • maybe they should change that to around the bend country, or maybe bend over county. i’m glad you commented, viceroy, because i like it when someone who knows an area wayyy better than i do tells me the facts. so what you’re saying is that little debbie is rand paul in a dress?

      • South Austin Viceroy

        She’s worse the Rand Paul. She’s helping push the bill through the Texas legislature that will require that before a woman be granted and abortion she must undergo a sonogram and discuss her decision with the physician.

        The pigf***ing Republicans are pissed over the US Government trying to improve access to health care yet dictate required medical procedures. Hypocritical sons of bitches.