The Apprent-ass

From Paul Harris at the Mail & Guardian online:

The bright lights of the Las Vegas strip were an apt setting for the Donald Trump carnival roadshow to end up in last week. Amid the garish neon of the gigantic Treasure Island Casino, the business mogul-turned-reality TV star-turned-potential Republican presidential candidate made his latest stop.

Speaking at an event called The Reagan Revolution: From Ronald to Donald, Trump made his pitch to an audience of Nevada Republican bigwigs and curious onlookers in one of the key early-voting states in the nomination process. In the casino’s ballroom, which featured an ice statue of himself, Trump gave a virtuoso performance that was full of braggadocio and littered with expletives. “Our leaders are stupid, they are stupid people,” he said, before referring to the Chinese government as “motherfuckers” against whom he’d raise trade tariffs.

nationalcomicscarnivalbarkerOriginal comic book cover

Despite such a performance — and perhaps because of it — there is no doubt that Trump has injected a remarkable shot of adrenaline into the stilted Republican search for a nominee to take on Barack Obama next year.


But, as Trump’s “will he, won’t he” campaign rolls on, the Republican party may be waking up to the fact that they have bitten off more than they can chew. Trump’s decision to make “birtherism” his first big issue and fan the conspiracy theories about Obama’s citizenship last week led to one of the more spectacular political bunfights of recent memory.

Trump’s claims to have sent investigators to Hawaii who had uncovered evidence to support him were dismissed in stunning fashion by the Oval office. As Trump touched down last Wednesday in New Hampshire — another key early-voting state — the White House revealed the president’s long-form birth certificate, which birthers had said did not exist. So, instead of being treated as an emerging Republican champion with a tough pro-America agenda on China and business, Trump became a national media joke.

Obama referred to him as a “carnival barker”.


[Trump’s] travels are certainly starting to look like a genuine campaign. His poll numbers among Republicans certainly put him among the leaders, with a Rasmussen survey showing him on top with 19%.


That prospect has most Democrats sharing Trump’s delight at all the attention.


Conversely, senior Republicans are nervous.


But looking like a campaign does not mean that one can pull one off. Even a showman like Trump must know that if he does run he will face press scrutiny of his lavish lifestyle and sprawling business dealings. He already faces demands to release his tax returns, and the Huffington Post last week ran a story about suspected organised crime ties to some ex-business associates.

His personal life will put off social conservatives who are a key segment of the Republican base: Trump is on his third marriage and not especially devout. His ostentatious lifestyle is out of step with a national mood still smarting from the “Great Recession”.


There are inconvenient truths like the fact that he has donated more campaign money to Democrats than Republicans, including Obama right-hand man Rahm Emanuel and Senate leader Harry Reid. Or that Trump has not bothered to vote in many elections in the past 20 years. Then there is his “foot-in-mouth” syndrome. Last week, he claimed a CNN poll showed him neck-and-neck with Obama. He repeated the claim in an interview on CNN itself. When CNN correctly denied it had ever conducted such a survey, Trump insisted he was right and it was wrong.

Trump’s gift for reducing events down to simplistic and populist soundbites has few limits. On Libya, Trump bluntly said the US should just take the country’s oil, rather than assist rebels fighting Muammar Gaddafi.


Yet all this is just the tip of the iceberg, with far more likely to come. That has many top Republican strategists terrified. “When Donald Trump not only dominates the airwaves but also the Republican polls then you know that they are a party in trouble,” said Professor Bruce Gronbeck, a political expert at the University of Iowa. It is a general rule of US presidential politics that the middle ground “independents” hold the key to national victory. Yet Trump, by so aggressively advocating birtherism, has seen his support there dry up.


Yet Trump is striking a chord in part of the American psyche. Away from the clamour over birtherism, there are other elements of his message that resonate. His strident talk against China, which he has accused of “raping” the US economy, is powerful stuff in a country struggling with the mass outsourcing of its manufacturing industry and high unemployment. Trump can say these things so bluntly because he is an outsider to politics: something that also appeals to many disenchanted Americans.

He is filling a huge void in a Republican party that has struggled to build on its victory in last year’s mid-term elections. Instead of finding a united voice, the party appears deeply split between its Tea Party anti-government wing, still powerful social conservatives and a sliver of moderates.


No wonder then that the field of Republican candidates alongside Trump has failed to inspire. It contains semi-famous names such as Ron Paul and Mitt Romney, who have run and failed before. It includes congresswoman Michele Bachmann, from the far right and former senator Rick Santorum. There is Newt Gingrich, who has not held office since the mid-1990s and whose private life is even more colourful than Trump’s. There are virtual unknowns such as former Utah governor Jon Huntsman and former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty. The few well-known names — Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee — are still on the fence, with Palin looking likely to stay out.

The field is so barren that in the first TV debate of the contest, planned for this week, only four potential candidates have agreed to turn up. […] No wonder Trump was still smiling. He has swaggered into a void in the Republican field and the top party bigwigs have only themselves to blame.


Filed under Barack Obama, China, CNN, Comic books, Democrats, Harry Reid, humor, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Rahm Emanuel, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Ronald Reagan, Sarah Palin, Scandals, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

41 responses to “The Apprent-ass

  1. President Obama and Seth Meyers nailed him last night. And the Mouth had to sit there and take it. πŸ˜†

  2. John Erickson

    Um..shouldn’t “Tiny Tim” Pawlenty be the Tiniest Person Alive? You could’ve put Boehner in the leopard print – then again, you’d be hard-pressed to figure where the orange leopard skin ends and Boehner’s orange begins…. πŸ˜€
    But you know, somebody REALLY needs to go after Seth Meyer. He was really nasty. How DARE he insult foxes by comparing the Donald’s hair to one? Haven’t foxes suffered enough having that News channel named after them? MORE FOX RIGHTS!
    Wait… that sounds wrong….. aw, the heck with it. Good job, Nonnie! Enjoying a dry house? πŸ˜‰

    • i try to stick to the article, and bronzo wasn’t mentioned. besides, this way i didn’t have to change the name. pawlenty is famous for being boring, and you can see my the leotard that he is indeed tiny. πŸ˜‰ this was all last-minute. i wasn’t going to do a poster tonight, but i saw the comic book, and i couldn’t help myself.

      having a dry house is very nice, as is being able to take a shower without risking my life. πŸ˜‰

      • John Erickson

        I think that every adult, sometime in their 30s, should be forced to spend a night, in the rain, inside a leaky tent, wearing wool. When you have debate the challenge of weeing out the side of the tent versus going out into the rain to take a leak, you will NEVER, EVER take a dry house for granted ever again! πŸ˜€ (I say 30s, ’cause 20-somethings are in too good a shape, and 40-somethings are too old for that crap – I speak from experience!)

  3. The bully, blowhard, egotist, and countless other adjectives means unelectable. Besides, I don’t think he’s running because he’s copying a page from the Palin playbook …. meaning, what can I get out of it? For him, it’s keeping his name in the news in order to get higher ratings for his TV show finale.

    Great post Nonnie!

    • i don’t think he’s running either. this is just a prolonged commercial for his crappy show (which is just a prolonged commercial for his various ventures). too bad for him, his little stunt is over. osama bin laden is now osama bin livin’, but now he ain’t, and that will be the news this week. no more royal wedding crap, and no more trump crap.

  4. Yep, the dead OBL will squeeze D. Chump right off the news cycle for quite a while, unless he takes credit for it, as he surely will try to. And the goper field of hopefulls look like pieces of the cheapest store brand white bread that float on the pond waiting for the ducks. And now he goes about saying “fuck” in front of the women! And now there is a b/c floating around that shows his parents listed as unknown and claiming he was born on Neptune, making him unique in these parts. But this is his chance to pull it off and win the race by filling out the ticket with another one-of-a-kind creature for the vice-presi……ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

    • trump can set himself on fire and run around naked, and he still won’t get any serious attention, not that he deserves any. all the others are being very quiet right now, because they know they all look ridiculous for spouting the bs that dems are weak on defense. i hope they choke on the crow they’re eating now.

  5. Osama is not dead…… until Donald sees the long form death certificate. Investigators heading to Pakistan as we type.

    • i hear they threw the long-form death certificate in the sea with his body. i wholeheartedly agree that trump should take a good long look at it asap. πŸ™‚

  6. meanwhile Nene and Star are still fighting.

    • the nene is the state bird of hawaii, and we all know that hawaii is a part of kenya. why does trump have a foreigner (and possible terrorist) on his show?

      p.s. i never had much respect for anyone who would appear on that shitty show, and i have even less now.

      • elizabeth3hersh

        Au contraire nonnie!! I watch almost all news and science programs, but I love the Celebrity Apprentice and I find the dynamics of B list celebrities going at each other endlessly entertaining (the Trumpier the contestant, the more interesting dynamics). You left Gov. Mitch Daniels out of the potential Republican line-up and I would think he would be a formidable opponent once he gained momentum. Trump may be brash, bombastic and a megalomaniac (no more so than Hugo Chavez), but the man has some interesting ideas. Apprent-ass may be a fair assessment, but don’t count Trump out yet.

        • Sedate Me

          I’d much rather watch two squirrels fucking on a tape loop for an hour than watch The Washed Up Celebrity Rim Jobbing of Trump’s Ass.

          The one talent Trump has is the unparalleled ability to polish his own turds. He can, with a completely straight face, say “I accomplished something really important today” when all he did was ask to see some guy’s birth certificate. Wup de fucking do! Yet he acts as if he cured cancer or something. But millions of fucktards will buy into his one ring circus out of sheer stupidity and the desire to be entertained by this worthless billionaire.

          And I’ll always hate Trump for destroying the USFL.

          • well said, sedate me. πŸ™‚

            • Sedate Me

              But I have to admit, it’s REALLY hard for me to resist supporting a guy with the balls to publicly call China a bunch of “motherfuckers” destroying America who should be stopped in their tracks with tariffs etc and that the Saudis should be “bitch slapped” for ripping us off, or however he phrased it. That’s exactly the kind of talk a candidate Sedate Me would use. Lead pipe to the head politics puts the lead in my pencil.

              It’s hard for me to resist. He’s like an ex-girlfriend I loved who cheated on me, abused me and dumped me, but is now trying to win me back with low cut tops, mini-skirts and promises of mind blowing make-up sex . I’ve just got to keep my shit together, remember all the bad times, and realize she hasn’t changed a bit. No matter how much her dirty talk turns me on, she is still an evil bitch.

          • elizabeth3hersh

            Sedate Me…so this is where you have been hiding!! All my wordpress subscriptions were mysteriously cancelled and I have been scrambling to resubscribe (I’ve missed your posters nonnie!). I heard Trump say today he would withhold the 3+ billion in foreign aid we grant to Pakistan annually unless they gave up their nukes. I’m starting to warm up to the Trumpster.

            Trump/Busey 2012

            • welcome back, elizabeth. i was wondering where you were. i was afraid you were mad at me. πŸ™‚

            • John Erickson

              Elizabeth – It might not have been your Email – unless you’re with Omnicity. My Email totally ignored WordPress for 3 days. Then, about 2 hours ago, I started getting everything through en masse. I’m STILL wading through stuff over 3 days old! So beware – your Email may start regurgitating all your old post notifications and comments notifications. Good luck!

        • it might be entertaining if the show was nothing but an hour-long commercial to promote anything that trump can make a profit from. i can’t stand him or his creepy kids.

          as for his interesting ideas, what are they exactly? all he does is repeat the complaints of ordinary people that he hears on tv. he hasn’t come up with anything even resembling solutions. saying he’ll call the chinese motherfuckers isn’t exactly a foreign policy, and screaming at arabs to lower the price of oil isn’t an energy policy. he’s an asshole.

  7. jeb

    Watched the clip of Obama and Seth Meyers roasting Trump at the Correspondents dinner. I love the line that Seth threw out about Trump owning the Miss USA pagent so the Republicans already have their field of VP candidates.

    • i watched that last night. he was hilarious, and that was one of my favorite lines! what was even more fun was watching trump looking like he wished he had used preparation H. i don’t trust anyone who can’t laugh at himself.

      • jeb

        The sheer entertainment value of watching The Donald sit with the pained expression on his face cannot be overstated. It did get me wondering though whether or not his head would explode and if so, would the hair be flammable or come off in one piece? I really would have liked a demonstration so that I can sleep at night.

        • did you notice the only time he smiled is when obama mentioned celeb apprentice by name? it was very clear that the only reason for this charade is publicity for his idiotic show. funny thing is that there are some advertisers who have said they won’t buy time on his show, because their customers think the things the asswipe said were racist.

  8. Welcome back. Missed you the day you didn’t post because of those “icky leaks.”

  9. John Erickson

    A friend of mine has a really funny blog called The Idiot Speaketh, at: He posted a “message from the Donald”, making fun of Trump’s commentary about knowing “the blacks” (among others), and in the fake message, “The Idiot” (my friend, not Trump) had Trump refer to women as broads, dames, skirts, and bimbos. A female reader, asked which one she was, and my reply was:
    “You’re a skirt, provided you’re wearing one.
    “You’re a dame, if you think Trump is an idiot.
    “You’re a broad if you think Trump is a jackass.
    “You’re a bimbo if you think Trump is a genius.”
    Mark, “The Idiot”, thought my answer was perfect. πŸ˜€

    • πŸ˜† by the way, thanks for the link, john. i spent some time reading the idiot’s posts, and i literally laughed out loud.

      • John Erickson

        Like I told him, I’ve got two circles of online friends – you, Melissa, and Frank (primarily) and he and his friends, and I kept forgetting who knew who! This way, you guys can get to know each other and it makes it easier on my poor fried brain. I just hope both groups will forgive me for the cross-pollination! πŸ˜€

        • John,
          FYI: I found Nonnie through Melissa … found Melissa via Al (@2012) … and we meet via comments @ the Padre’s place. And I can’t believe I remembered all this! Then again, my wife says my brain is consumed with useless (but accurate) information.

        • John Erickson

          “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we try to surf some blogs.”
          (THUD!) πŸ˜€
          OK, so it don’t scan. I keep trying to figure out where I met The Idiot. Beats the crud outta me! I can trace everybody else – he came out of the blue. Well, him, and my buddy the naval historian in England. But there’s no way I’m gonna inflict y’all on him! He’s got enough trouble dealing with ME! πŸ˜‰

  10. John Erickson

    This just in: Donald Trump will NOT be driving the pace car in the Indianapolis 500. Official sources are not revealing the reason, but the automotive grapevine says it’s because the couldn’t find a car with enough horsepower to tow his ego around. πŸ˜‰

    • awesome! i saw that there were petitions to have him removed as the pace car driver, and i was hoping they’d disinvite him. trump’s shitlist gets a little longer again! πŸ˜†