Plastic Bag


Over the last two days, both The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, perhaps reacting to Newt Gingrich’s announcement of his forthcoming announcement concerning his presidential ambitions, have published pieces about Gingrich’s “secret weapon.” According to The Times, it just may be Callista Gingrich, Newt’s former mistress and current wife, while the Journal identified Gingrich’s “secret weapon” as his conglomerate of “advocacy and for-profit groups,” known unofficially as Newt Inc.

Yeah, because women are going to flock to a woman who calls herself a religious Catholic and was cheating with a married man who later ditched the ex and married her.

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So which is more secret, more weapon-like? Callista, a French-horn player and former House Agriculture Committee employee, might do well to turn up the enthusiasm. “At Villanova University on a recent Thursday night, Mrs. Gingrich warmed up the audience for a showing of the couple’s movie about Pope John Paul II by signing books and DVDs in her left-handed curlicue,” The Times reported. “But when asked whether she is ready for the scrutiny a campaign would bring, she smiled tightly and grew silent.”


Lo, behold mighty Newt Inc., the catchall for Gingrich’s post-House extracurriculars, which includes a grassroots organization, American Solutions; a Spanish and English Web site,, the self-described “home of today’s top conservative Hispanic news and commentary”; and a religious-advocacy organization, “Renewing American Leadership,” which combats the dangerous secularization of public services. According to The Journal, Gingrich’s “network has amassed more than 1.7 million voter and donor contacts and raised $32 million between 2009 and 2010—more than all his potential 2012 rivals combined.”

And, in a stunning synergistic turn, Callista Gingrich is the president of Gingrich Productions, the cultural arm of Newt Inc.


Filed under Catholicism, Congress, humor, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Republicans, Scandals, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

13 responses to “Plastic Bag

  1. jeb

    There is nothing more admirable than accomplished grifters.

  2. Don’t they make a lovely couple! Now the key to understanding that great picture is that tome tucked under the Grinchs arm. It prove that gopers are indeed biologicaly different than mere mortals because they posses a gault bladder, a hyper organ grown to excesive size by monetary inflamation, that give mega-bile into the system of red meat issues allowing prolonged anal retention allowing them to be more full of shit than anybody else.

  3. //the cultural arm of Newt Inc.// ??????? is that the one he uses to spank his monkey?

  4. Mr Newt is going nowhere … well, besides to the circus.

  5. Pingback: Chris Christie Still Not Running/Olbermann Feuds with Bill Simmons/Trump Trumps Cain: PCW Extreme Political TV « Political Championship Wrestling

  6. “Callista, a French-horn player”

    As someone who started out his musical career as a French horn player, I can tell you from first-hand experience that French horn players have to deal with the smallest mouthpiece of all brass instruments. I’m sure that talent comes in handy for Callista when dealing with Newt’s, ah, “trumpet.”

    • neon vincent! what a dirty mind! i’ll never admit that the first thing i thought was that the fact that she knows how to blow was what attracted newtie to her in the first place.

  7. John Erickson

    My magical vanishing Email system has re-appeared, so I’ll hopefully be back to form tomorrow. For today, I’ll second the vote on the Gault bladder!