The Chuckleberry Charade

All the factors say go, but my heart says no, and that is the decision I have made, and in it, I have finally found resolution.-Mike Huckabee

From Jennifer Rubin at POSTOPINIONS at The Washington Post:

I am not surprised in the least that Mike Huckabee is passing on the 2012 primary. He’s got a great lifestyle, wealth beyond his and his wife’s imagination, and no reason to lessen his speaking value by losing a presidential primary.It was cheesy to hype an announcement and then say, “Never mind.” But no one ever accused Huckabee of going light on the show biz presentation. (Former senator Chuck Hagel, who called reporters together to say he had no news about a 2008 presidential run, has now been bypassed in the “You hauled us out here for this?” category.)

I’m not surprised either. Chuckleberry was always in this just to make money. You get a lot more attention and get paid more for speeches when you make believe that you’re running for president. Chuckleberry was a grifter, and he’s still a grifter.
Original DVD cover

The immediate beneficiary of this is former Pawlenty, whose prospects in Iowa just increased ten-fold. There is no other solid social conservative in the race, he’s from a neighboring state and he’s got a ground game up and running. (Expect Romney to now “not try so hard” and prepare to discount a loss there.) Moreover, unless a credible alternative such as [Mitch] Daniels, [Chris] Christie or [Paul] Ryan [huh?  really? Even Newt Gingrich threw him under the bus on Meet the Press for his ridiculous health care plan] enter the race, Pawlenty is the not-Romney. If you think Romney can’t get past Romneycare, start putting money on Pawlenty.

Conversely, this is dreadful news for Romney. His prospects largely depended on either being the not-Palin or competing against a large field that would divide up the not-Romney votes. [Another grifter, Sarah] Palin doesn’t seem to be running, and the field is shrinking every day.

Lastly, the new dark horse may be Jon Huntsman. He’s thrown cap-and-trade under the bus, he doesn’t have Romneycare around his neck, he is fresh to the field (and hence not yet a bore), and he has some style and verve.

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16 Comments

Filed under Chuck Hagel, humor, Iowa, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, movies, Newt Gingrich, parody, politics, Republicans, Sarah Palin, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

16 responses to “The Chuckleberry Charade

  1. sorry to be late, but i had to slap this together at the last minute. i think i might have the flu, and i’ve spent most of last night and today in the porcelain and tile library.

  2. Late!

    Timing seems just fine on the West Coast.

    Cannot sleep at night without my fix to see the person getting your special treatment.

    I think McClintock may not be able to help himself and at least act like he is getting in. Not a single person on planet earth further right than Tom. He would be new on the National scene but almost became CA Governor just before Arnold messed stuff up. He also is IN with the Tea Crowd. The Tea Party Patriots was actually birthed here in Nevada County and Tom shows up for their meetings as the speaker very frequently.

    Get better.

    • glad i didn’t keep you up, curtis! i didn’t know that mcclintock almost became governor. i hadn’t heard of him until you told me about him. i have another movie to use for him when he makes the news again.

  3. John Erickson

    Ooh, not good. Another blogger I read is also sick, although she was having some fun because the doc prescribed codeine in her cough medicine. Something about dancing Smurfs. I offered to pair them up with my Vicodin-induced dragons, but haven’t heard back yet. 😀
    Gee, Huckabee went for the bucks. I am so shocked. (Sorry, monotone doesn’t come across well through the keyboard. 😉 )
    Hope you feel better soon!

    • as it happens, i made a doctor’s appointment on friday. i’ve had the referral for months, but i never called. they just happened to have a cancellation, so i got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. he’s an ear-nose-throat guy, so he won’t be doing anything about my stomach, but my throat is rather scratchy, and i’ve been sneezing, so maybe i’ll get my money’s worth! 😉

      i had no doubt that chuckleberry was going to go for the money. i thought that, if he was going to run for anything, it would be bill nelson’s senate seat. however, he hasn’t satisfied his greed yet. he needs to make a lot of money, because he’ll have to support his loser sons for the rest of their lives.

  4. jeb

    What will Chuck Norris do now?

  5. I’ll act surprised. This certainly explains his birfer outburst a few weeks back. But he has a higher calling that has put those $ $ in his eyes, a piece of rectangular paper with Evil Ruperts name on it. Now we wait for the bearwoman to come up with her ecumenical excuse that has nothing to do with filthy lucre. This race has all the excitement of choosing the chairman of the Petrograd soviet.

    • i can’t believe that people still fall for this shit. if he was the pious man he keeps making believe he is, all that money he’s making would be going to feed the poor. instead, he’s building himself a mansion.

  6. Most importantly, hope you are feeling a better today.

    Good take. I also see Romneycare as his albatross, thus still him having a tough climb. The crazed Minnesota woman will get some of Huckabee’s vote in the early primaries. T-Paw will benefit from those with sanity. I’m also with you on Daniels and Huntsman. Daniels as got to be running …. why else a book release?

    • thank you, frank. i’m still feeling rather crappy, but i was able to make my doctor’s appointment and then to the drugstore, so odds are that i’m going to live.

      timmeh will benefit most from people not knowing much about him. i think daniels and huntsman are the grown-ups in the race, but daniels loses points for kowtowing to the teabaggers and defunding planned parenthood.

  7. Pawlenty????? He has that deer in the headlights look whenever he is asked a question harder than what his favorite ice cream is. Even there he waffles between Rocky Road and Maple Nut. the Chipmunk living under my porch is smarter. and much more entertaining.

  8. God told the Huckster not to run. Let’s hope Palin talks to the same god & he/she tells her the same thing!

    I was just thinking the GOP was just rolling out the same old losers to run them again. have they now fresh/new ideas?
    Even weirder, Trump was up in the polls only behind Mitt Romney!

    Thankfully, the Donald has fired himself from a presidential run.
    Probably not a hard decision…. make $42 million a year or $400,000.
    Yea he opted for making 93 x more money.
    Plus he gets to fire people on his cheesy TV show.

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