The Cain Scrutiny


GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain has a plan to fix the economy.  Just don’t ask him to tell you who helped him write it.

In an interview on Fox News Sunday, Mr. Cain declared that �some of the best economists in this country helped him develop the plan, which he has dubbed the 9-9-9 plan because it would create a 9% flat tax on business and personal income and create a 9% national sales tax.

But Mr. Cain repeatedly refused to name those bright minds when pressed by the show’s host, Chris Wallace.

My unnamed sources have told me where Herman’s unnamed economists come from and why he won’t say who they are.
plan9fromouterspaceOriginal DVD cover

“The chairman of my economic advisers is a gentleman by the name of Rich Lowery of Cleveland, Ohio. He worked with a couple of other people quite frankly that are well known that I’m not at liberty to mention their names,” Mr. Cain said.


An e-mail to Mr. Cain’s campaign to find out more about Mr. Lowery of Cleveland was not immediately returned.  The editor of National Review, a conservative magazine, is Rich Lowry, but he hails from Arlington, Va.

Rest assured, the plan that these secret economists helped draft will inspire the business community to generate jobs, said Mr. Cain, who is the former chairman and CEO of Godfather’s Pizza.


Mr. Cain did not address questions about whether his plan, which would cut taxes significantly for wealthy Americans and businesses, would amount to a tax increase for Americans who currently don’t pay income taxes.


Presidential candidate Herman Cain defended his “999″ economic proposal on Fox News Sunday today to Chris Wallace […]


[…] Wallace told Cain that his staff researched the 999 plan and suggested it appears to favor millionaires and billionaires (a timely subject given President Obama’s impeding proposal to increase the taxes of Americans in the top income bracket).

“It looks to us like under your plan, corporations and the wealthy will pay considerably less than they currently do, and lower-income people particularly, the 45 percent, roughly, of Americans who don’t pay income tax now will end up paying a lot more.”

Cain denied this was accurate, pointing out that under his plan, payroll taxes would drop to 9 percent. Wallace asked him about the tax increases among the 45 percent. Cain’s answer was blunt and to the point.

“A good economic growth plan should not be designed to help more people not pay taxes, Chris.”

He argued that “bad behavior would determine how much tax they pay,” and insisted his plan would incentivize Americans to be more responsible with how they spend their money.

(Video at MEDIAITE link)


Filed under Barack Obama, Fox News, humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

48 responses to “The Cain Scrutiny

  1. I think this tool stole it from Domino’s 5-5-5 Special:

  2. John Erickson

    So, a 9% National sales tax? And that would be on top of all other sales taxes? So with the additional state, RTA, County, and city taxes, you’d be paying a sales tax of at least 25% in downtown Chicago? Charming…..
    And, another 9% on the lowest earners. That’s it, time to start sharpening up the guillotine!

  3. Sorry, Godfather, you didn’t make an offer the American people couldn’t refuse.

    One of the worst economic plans ever deserves a poster from one of the worst movies ever.

    Oh, yeah, and Bela Lugosi’s dead in the movie, too.

    • never had his pizza, and i never plan on having any. i haven’t gone to dominos since i found out the founder is a crazy-ass fundie. i won’t go to pizza hut, because their pizza is disgusting. i go to one of 2 family italian restaurants near here when i want pizza.

  4. Doh! Candidate Cain just held his cue card upside down…..
    it’s really a “666” plan!

  5. But really, this 9-9-9 plan is more GOP tax hocus pocus.
    9% tax in poverty does not equal 9% tax for the oober wealthy.
    No way, no how.

    If this were a game show, his plan would require pushing the button for the loud, annoying buzzer.

    I guess these are the highlights of the GOP debates.
    Apparently the party of NO, also has NO answers!

    Perry: Name one scientist who thinks climate change is not real.
    Cain: Name the economic wizards who birthed & endorse this 9-9-9 tax brainchild

    Cue crickets….

    • don’t forget botox batshit bachmann: name one doctor who says that gardisil causes mental retardation.

      i hope the gameshow is the one with the trapdoor that opens so the losing contestant falls through.

  6. maggiejean

    Well, if this is true according to Cain:

    “A good economic growth plan should not be designed to help more people not pay taxes, Chris”

    and corporations are people, then a good economic plan should not be designed to help corporations/people not pay taxes. Republicans=help the rich hold on to as much money in circulation as possible.

  7. ‘Domino’s founder is a crazy-ass fundie.” You don’t have to tell me. I lived in Domino’s home town for a decade and was a frequent visitor for a decade after that, so I got to see his works up close and personal.

    • maggiejean

      I refused to eat Domino’s pizza and I know many people who refused as well. Crazy women haters.

      • John Erickson

        Can you forgive some of my friends and I buying Domino’s Pizzas back in Chicago? I’m sorry, but they were the cheapest replacements for bicycle wheels we could find! 😀

    • does he still own the tigers?

      • No, he sold it to the other pizza magnate in town, Mike Ilitch, who owns Little Caesars. Good thing, too. Ilitch is a big booster of Detroit and wants to keep the team here. Monaghan wanted to move the Tigers to Ann Arbor, which pissed off everyone in both Ann Arbor and Detroit. The Ann Arborites didn’t want the team and the Detroiters wanted to keep it. Since he couldn’t get his way, he sold the team.

        Also, for a big businessman, Ilitch is fairly liberal. His daughter is a Regent of the University of Michigan, and a Democrat.

  8. I just subjected my wife to “Plan 9 From Outer Space”! She’d never seen it before.

    She may or may not forgive me …

    Anyway … Note to Mr. Cain: the voices in your head do not count as a team of advisors.

    • i’m not sure if i saw the movie or not. i think i might have many, many years ago.

      i wonder if he hears the voices in his head after he’s ingested too much godfather’s pizza. nah, now that he has money, he wouldn’t eat that crap.

      • On the one hand, the movie is pretty hard to forget. It’s weird.

        Aliens animating the dead to prove that they’re there, then threatening to kill anyone who knows about them … all to prevent the Earth from inventing some new kind of bomb that will blow up the universe, because it’s a natural progression from fireworks to blowing up the universe.

        On the other hand, the memory might be blocked as a traumatic event.

        That would make perfect sense. It is generally considered to be one of the worst movies ever made.

  9. Pizza can be quite political. My kid turned me on to a great local chain in the mid-cities, first class eating. A few years later I stop in to pick up an order and, right on the counter, is a rack full of Dianetics books. Never went back…..Cain might discover his his calling by going into the toast business. I can’t decide my favorite crazy story of the last 24- Bitefart calling on his followers to start shooting liberals or Sheriff Joe calling up a posse (with Jerome Corsi) to bring the userper prez to justice…..Like Andy Borowitz said today “It’s like a sitcom without a main character, just wacky neighbors”.

    • i never knew you had a kid, jerry! you don’t want to eat at a place that endorses scientology, because you can only get koolaid to drink. i read that about arpaio. “posse” might be okay in arizona, but he’s not doing the rethugs in the rest of the country a favor by stirring up the racist image of the rethugs again. well, it’ll help in some places, but will hurt in places where rethugs need the most help. i love andy borowitz. i hope that keith olbermann makes him a regular.

  10. jeb

    Oh dear, Chris Wallace and FUX News are suddenly concerned about a Rethug plan that would favor millionaires and billionaires and corporations over the peoples? What the…? Couldn’t be because Crazy Cain ain’t THEIR candidate. I’m sure it’s just that they’ve suddenly grown a conscience.

    If Herm can’t sell them a pizza with a triple order of fecal toppings, nobody will be buying it.

  11. ya, what DCap said….. how can you take seriously a guy who can’t make a decent pizza…….