Widdle Ewic Wets His Pants, Creates a Job for Diaper Changer

From philly.com:

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor abruptly canceled a speech Friday at the University of Pennsylvania that had become the target of Occupy Philly and other groups. Hundreds of protesters gathered at Penn nonetheless, carrying signs and shouting slogans.

Cantor (R., Va.) was scheduled to speak at Penn’s Wharton School at 4:30 p.m. but backed out earlier in the afternoon, indicating that it had been his understanding the speech would be open only to people affiliated with the university.

In a statement, his office said it “was informed last night by Capitol Police that the University of Pennsylvania was unable to ensure that the attendance policy previously agreed to could be met.”


The university in turn issued a statement saying it “deeply regrets” that Cantor canceled and suggesting that there had been no change in the attendance policy.

“The Wharton speaker series is typically open to the general public, and that is how the event with Majority Leader Cantor was billed. We very much regret if there was any misunderstanding with the majority leader’s office on the staging of his presentation,” the university said.

porky pig sylvester Original image

The Twitter account @OccupyPhilly, which has about 6,500 followers, raised the possibility of a protest at Cantor’s speech on Monday, and the idea quickly gained traction. A Facebook event page for the protest was created that evening.

Mike Morrill, executive director of Keystone Philadelphia, a liberal advocacy group, said he learned of the cancellation when he arrived on campus around 1 p.m.

Morrill said the protesters expected to demonstrate outside Huntsman Hall while Cantor spoke inside. There were no plans to disrupt the speech, Morrill said.


Sean Kitchen, a protester and a member of the Occupy Philly outreach committee, said Cantor’s cancellation “shows cowardice.” The group later stormed into Huntsman, surrounded the lobby, and shouted: “Eric Cantor, come out, come out, wherever you are.”

On the balcony above, one student held a sign directed at the protesters with the message “Get in Our Bracket,” to which the protesters responded in unison, “Shame! Shame! Shame!”

The student later said the sign was a joke intended to persuade the protesters to leave. “I respect their right to organize, but this isn’t the right time and the right place. These aren’t the people they’re mad at. These are students.”


The Daily Pennsylvanian did, however, acquire a copy of the speech Cantor was preparing to give on the nation’s worsening income gap, which started off by riffing on the metaphor of a “ladder of success,” even acknowledging that many are unable to reach the ladder’s bottom-most rungs.

We know that we all don’t begin life’s race from the same starting point. […] The fact is many in America are coping with broken families, dealing with hunger and homelessness, confronted daily by violent crime, or burdened by rampant drug use. Recently I was asked, “What does your party say to that 9-year-old, inner city kid scared to death, growing up in a life of poverty? What can you do for that little girl?”

He answered: “That child needs a hand up to help climb the ladder.” More money for schools so she can get a good education, perhaps? Or a jobs package so that girl’s mother or father can adequately support her? Cantor’s got something a little more free-market in mind, what he calls the “Steve Jobs Plan.”

I believe that the most successful among us are positioned to use their talents to help grow our economy and give everyone a hand up the ladder and the dignity of a job. We should encourage them to extend their creativity and generosity to helping build the community infrastructure that provides a hand up and a fair shot to those less fortunate, like that little 9-year-old girl in the inner city.

So we’re supposed to rely on the kindness of, basically, the rich to solve the problems of the poor. Sounds an awful lot like trickle-down economics, swathed in Apple’s sleek brushed aluminum.


Filed under Congress, humor, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

34 responses to “Widdle Ewic Wets His Pants, Creates a Job for Diaper Changer

  1. OK. I give you that Cantor is a total Woos, a Toad, a horse’s ass. Yes, he is that and more. But, you know, some of us wet our pants and it had nothing to do with far right wing politics. And I, ma’m am nothing like Eric Cantor. Thank God.

    • childbirth and age can weaken a bladder, but i don’t think widdle ewic has given birth, and he’s not that old. widdle ewic’s party always tries to convince us that they’re the tough guys, but anytime they think they’ll confront any resistance, they tuck their tails between their legs and run in the other direction.

  2. well of course widdle ewic would give that child a hand up the ladder….as long as it was because she was about to paint his ceiling and would work for $2 an hour

  3. John Erickson

    As a lifelong fan of Apple and Steve Jobs, I am seriously offended that this horse’s ass would even DARE to compare ANY of the crap coming out of his mouth OR brain to Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs put thousands to work, even if the bean counters drove many of those jobs to China Eric Cantor can’t even show up to a pre-scheduled event! What a complete and utter SOB!

    • i resent that he pretends to know what life is like for some 9-year-old living in the inner city. i also resent that he tries to pretend that he gives a shit about her. he’s never known what it’s like to worry about where his next meal was coming from or if he could take his sick kid to the doctor. he never had to sit at home and wonder if his kid will be shot on her way back from school. it’s difficult to act like you have empathy when you’ve never actually felt it.

  4. jay

    I have a solution for Cantor:

  5. All Mr. Cantor has to do say anything, and the odds are I will simply shake my head.

  6. Seriously, how is the Republican Party even still around?

    Shouldn’t the Whigs, or the Bull-Moose, or the Libertarians, or SOMEONE be able to kick them out of the way by now?

    I mean, if this is what they call leadership, then how tough can they be?

    • i keep thinking that this is the perfect time for a third party that can one day replace the rethuglican party. i don’t know why independents and reasonable republicans are hesitating.

  7. The mobs! The mobs!

    Cantor is such a jerk. He’s the kid stealing lunch money in the locker room who has an anxiety attack (and wets himself) when the victims demand justice.

  8. elizabeth3hersh

    I’m going to go out on a limb here (a mighty long limb and I’m going a little off topic here): no one seems to want to address the fact that we live in a society whereby a nine-year old inner child has to be scared for their life or grow up in abject poverty because there are no societal constraints (I would argue there are incentives). I THINK I speak for some Republicans when all they advocate is a little personal responsibility. It is bullshit to think that a job is going to fix a lot of these families because it won’t (why do we have a Humane Society and not also a Human Society?). Ah, that Margaret Sanger were alive today to continue her crusade albeit in a new direction: one whereby every child born has a parent who has the means, intellect, temperament and will to care for them and love the hell out of them (birth control kiosks where they are needed most!). Just because someone is a Republican doesn’t make them evil nor does it make them a bumbling idiot. As someone who passionately embraces education, liberalism and progressivism, I can still appreciate the merit of a Republican viewpoint. Okay, I’m off my soapbox and have wiped away the spittle and dusted myself off…footsteps softly fading while muttering “these are not evil people.”

    • i can understand the personal responsibility argument, and to a degree i agree with it. however, it has to be mixed with a large dose of empathy and sympathy. should a child born to people who don’t take a lot of personal responsibility be punished with hunger, a lousy education, and no health care? on the other side, should someone born to wealth and who is totally irresponsible be rewarded with tax cuts so s/he can keep the entire trust fund set up for her/his benefit? when there is an actual level playing field, then we can talk about personal responsibility being the defining societal factor. until then, it’s a real cute phrase that serves to distract rather than to fix what’s wrong.

      p.s. people who applaud people being put to death, applaud allowing people to die because they didn’t buy health insurance, and boo a soldier in harm’s way are evil. either that, or they are unbelievably stupid or willfully ignorant.

      • elizabeth3hersh

        I liked your P.S. (good point!) although I would disagree they are ‘willfully’ ignorant. I think it is just plain ignorance (on further reflection, some may very well be willfully ignorant even when presented with the facts). You know I am a HUGE child advocate…even with the safety net that scared shitless 9 yr-old inner city child in all probability will live an unfullfilled life. Perhaps sometime in the not too far off future, we will have a sociology czar or a federal panel of sociologists to work out these issues (would that even be allowed in the Constitution?). In the meantime, it would behoove us all to open a dialogue and attempt to inform, teach and persuade those who are ignorant, willful or not.

        • unfortunately, those who are ignorant and not willfully so are the ones who don’t have what they need to be informed. there are those brainwashed by the propagandists that masquerade as journalists, and they are the willfully ignorant. if they wanted the real truth, they could find it with a little searching on the internets. however, they are quite comfortable with what they want to believe is true, so they won’t bother. there’s a saying that people are more comfortable with an old lie than a new truth. people look for and accept whatever fits their ideology rather than for what they should know and base their opinions on. the ones who are truly ignorant are those who are too poor to afford access to information. many are in rural areas as well as in the inner cities. a big part of the problem is that giant corporations control the mainstream media, and they only give people the information they want them to have. they don’t want a public that’s too informed, because they want to continue to pay people shit wages and make them grateful to get them.

    • I agree with you, Elizabeth, that most Republicans I know personally are not evil people. However, I’m not sure about their party leaders so much. I don’t think those guys believe in personal responsbility–I think they believe in getting as much power for the wealthy as possible, and using the myth of “personal responsibility” to get the gullible to vote for them. Sadly, I think that the storyline of “If you just take responsbility for yourself, you’ll be successful and achieve your goals” is less and less likely to come true in America, as the gap between the rich and the poor widens and the rich get more control.

      I also agree with you that the basic safety net is not going to make the little girl’s life worthwhile–however, most civilized countries in this world have decided to have a basic safety net, because they are modern human societies and not packs of wild animals. The Republicans want to take even the basic safety net away, which would make them a pack of wild animals in my eyes, except that’s an insult to wild animals.

      Whew! Sorry, in turn, about my long ramble.

      • ramble on, bratty one! amen to all you said.

      • elizabeth3hersh

        Thank you eurobrat for your kind words. I think there are gradations of Republicans. Some are benign, and some could possibly turn this country around. I put my Republican leanings more in the Jon Huntsman camp (I’m actually a Democrat on paper since I‘m a vegetarian, tea drinking, atheistic, science loving, gay loving, PeTA loving, Dawkins worshipping friend of Moses [and friend of ‘Bill’s’]…the kind of person who would die blissfully happy if they spent every last second on a college campus). I feel our current spending patterns are unsustainable and Republicans bring something to the table (fiscal restraint among other things). Seems like solutions, innovation and brain-storming would be more effective tools than fierce partisanship. I can see why a lot of people think the current candidates are a bunch of clowns, but I didn’t see any ‘stars’ on the left either last election. American politics is starting to resemble the Israeli Knesset where there is too large of a divide in ideology for any kind of national cohesiveness and collective cooperation in the political arena.

        Sometimes, I take commenters barbs ‘personally’ so your words were extra nice.

  9. Eric is “Harried by the Mob,” again, I see.

    In other news, Now Keith Olbermann is calling it “Plan 999 from Outer Space”. Clip at the link. I love it when a meme I’m promoting catches on.

  10. Why all this sudden concern for the anectdotal 9 year old? Back in 1900 this child would have full employment and a 15 hour workday changing bobbins down at the cloth mill. And we could use many boys down there in the breaker sheds using bare hands to seperate the shale from the coal. This is why the worst enemy of basic robber baron capitalism is the camera. And let us not forget the most important point made during a debate in 1980 by the godman Reagan, saying the worst thing you could do at school for the poor and underprivelidged was give them something to eat. …”And I asked for bread and you gave me stone”….

    • what they need to do is to throw away regulations that don’t allow 9-year-olds to work. after all, she could be working at mcdonald’s. according to that fucking bitch state rep, cynthia davis, they’ll feed you free during your break. that is, if they don’t make breaks illegal.

  11. Ridiculous. Why on earth would someone schedule a speaking event at such a place and NOT have it open to the public?

    • because widdle ewic lives in a bubble. look at the new-style townhall meetings the rethugs hold. they do them in secret, or you have to pay to get in, or they have security goons shaking down old ladies and taking their video cameras.