So, if you’ve been watching TV news lately, you would know that Donald Trump is softening…or hardening his stance on immigration. According to new campaign manager and supposedly brilliant strategist Kellyanne Conway, she doesn’t know shit and won’t know until Wednesday when her boss makes his big immigration speech. Will there be a deportation force to rid the country of all immigrants here illegally? Well, maybe, but maybe not, because Kellyanne said Trump hasn’t mentioned it since his speech at the convention. However, according to Trump surrogate and all-round moron Jack Kingston, the deportation force is on. In fact, Donald bragged to a crowd of lots of white people in Iowa on Saturday that he will wave his tiny fingers and get rid of all the criminal immigrants within an hour of his taking the oath of office (I am not making this up), while Donnie, Jr. the Elephant Killer says Daddy is going to take baby steps. Anyway, Trumpelthinskin apparently has the magic prescription that will end the immigration problem in this country. And, tell me, who better to dispense that medicine?
But wait, kid, there’s more! The campaign announced tonight that Tiny Digits Donnie is going to Mexico tomorrow to meet with el presidente Enrique Peña Nieto! Uhoh, I think he had better stop and see Dr. Bornstein before he leaves. He doesn’t want any stomach upset before he delivers his big speech. Not a problem, because Dr. B has just the right medicine.
If the softening proves to be too soft, no worries, kids. He already has hardening of the Breitbarteries, so he’s covered.