No Courage and His Conniptions

So, kids, by now you have heard that Ted Cruz has joined ranks with the likes of Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan and other cowards in endorsing Donald Trump. Once again, a member of the party of big tough guys has checked his balls at the door in order to back someone who is less qualified than an iguana to be President. I guess Cruz has decided that Trump was right; his wife Heidi is not very attractive, and his father was handing Lee Harvey Oswald bullets in the book depository.

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Original DVD cover

Just to review, here are just a few quotes from these archetypes of bravery about their fearless leader:

Lyin’ Ted Cruz on Mr. Babyhands:

  • “This man is a pathological liar. He doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies.”
  • “The man is utterly amoral.”
  • “Donald is a bully. Bullies don’t come from strength; they come from weakness.”

Little Marco Rubio on Trumpelthinskin:

  • “Here’s the guy that inherited $200 million. If he hadn’t inherited $200 million, you know where Donald Trump would be right now? Selling watches in Manhattan.”
  • “The Republican Party would be split apart if [Trump] became the nominee, because we cannot allow the party of Reagan to be taken over by a con man.”
  • “[…] the Republican Party will be taken over by a con artist portraying himself as the fighter of the ordinary person fighting for the working man — but he’s spent years sticking it to the working people.”

Paul “Cowardly” Ryan on the Hairy Cheez Doodle:
When Hair Fuehrer said U.S. District Court Judge Gonzalo Curiel could not be fair in the Trump University suit, because he is of Mexican heritage:

  • “I disavow these comments — I regret those comments that he made. Claiming a person can’t do their job because of their race is sort of like the textbook definition of a racist comment.”

When the Crockwork Orange said he wants a ban on Muslims entering the country:

  • “Freedom of religion is a fundamental, constitutional principle. It’s a founding principle of this country. Normally, I do not comment on what’s going on in the presidential election. I will take an exception today. This is not conservatism. What was proposed yesterday is not what this party stands for, and more importantly, it’s not what this country stands for.”

When Orange Foolius joked about guns solving problems when ballots can’t:

  • “I heard about this Second Amendment quote. It sounds like just a joke gone bad. I hope he clears it up very quickly. You should never joke about something like that.”

I can’t wait to see the new campaign signs.

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2 Comments

Filed under humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

2 responses to “No Courage and His Conniptions

  1. Friend of the court

    “crock work orange” LOL. the country is getting drug backwards down a rabbit hole. Don’t babies scream when Cruz holds them?

    • I think I did a movie poster with that title about Boohoo Boehner. Handy that they are relatively the same shade of orange.

      Good parents don’t allow Ted Cruz near their children. I don’t think his own kids like him. That’s why they needed Carly Fiorina as a buffer.

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