So kids, did you watch the presidential debate at Hofstra University last night? In case you missed it, Donald Trumpelthinskin snorted, sniffed, drank, gesticulated and then snorted, sniffed, drank and gesticulated some more. And Hillary Clinton? Well, this is all you really need to know.
Seriously kids, I never said “Holy shit!” that many times in one day, and that includes when I was in labor for 14½ hours. The only thing more astounding than Orange Foolius’s performance was Kellyanne Conway’s explanation of how her boss was awesome. Then there was Chris Christie spinning so hard he almost threw up the whole pizza he devoured right before going on camera.