The Hundred Days Boor

From the Mirror:

Before his election, Donald Trump repeatedly pledged to “make America great again”, laying out an ambitious plan for his first 100 days.

His “contract with the voter” lis­­­­­­ted 28 promises he would deliver.

Well, the 100 days are up today and so far he has lived down to expectations by failing to deliver on a single major issue.

In the run-up to the milestone day, he moaned: “This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.”

But one thing the US President has managed is to achieve more mayhem and confusion than any of his 44 predecessors.


Since entering the West Wing he has become king of the 180 degree turn – re-imagining almost everything he has ever spoken about.

Among those flip-flops and failures:

NATO obsolete. Not obsolete.
No intervention in Syria. Bombing Syria
China is a currency manipulator. What manipulation?
Relations with Moscow is a disaster! I love Vladimir Putin and want to have his baby!
“I love golf. But if I were in the White House, I don’t think I’d ever see Turnberry again. I don’t think I’d ever see Doral again. I own Doral in Miami. I don’t think I’d ever see many of the places I have. I don’t think I’d ever see anything, I just want to stay in the White House and work my ass off and make great deals, right? Who’s gonna leave?” 19 trips to golf courses so far.
Draining the swamp. Appointing every billionaire he knows to cabinet posts.
Repealing Obamacare. Making Paul Ryan sick.
Travel bans. Trying to ban judges.

Oh yeah, and he warned North Korea that naval carrier, the USS Carl Vinson, was on its way and ready to kick some ass. Except it was headed in a different direction.

And this isn’t even counting our favorite Press Secretary evah, Sean Foot-in-the-Mouth Spicer!  Like all men, Little Seanie has a tenuous grip on reality when it comes to size:

This was the largest audience to ever witness the inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe.

He tweeted his own password. Twice.
Holocaust Remembrance Day–Jews? What Jews?
The horrific terrorist attack in Atlanta that never happened.
Joe” Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada and Malcolm “Trumball” of Australia.
Repeatedly talked about the need to destabilize the Middle East (not sure if that was a gaffe or not).
Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy after all. He didn’t use chemical weapons…well, not counting the Holocaust centers. Happy Passover!
Paul Manafort had a “very limited role” in the Twitler campaign. He was the campaign manager.

But maybe we’re picking on them too much. It’s possible that none of these things ever happened, and the lying media just made up some alternative facts. Right, Kellyanne?

Have fun, kids, and add your favorites in the comments!


Filed under Books, China, Holocaust, humor, Media, NATO, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Vladimir Putin, Wordpress Political Blogs

6 responses to “The Hundred Days Boor

  1. Friend of the court

    one of my favorite books. One Hundred Years ago, I can’t write about that POS without censoring myself.

  2. Model T said the presidency was hard job and more than he expected. Of course as you have written he’s only played golf about 19 times now -must be a record for any sitting president. Doesn’t it make sense that he accomplished virtually nothing in his first 100 day trial by fire of his own making?

    I love your list. Model T has signed papers to undue a number of laws that were beneficial to the environment, woman’s health, harassment in the work place and, and not to omit his continual efforts to undue the Affordable Health Care Act.

    • If having lunch with people, tweeting and playing golf is so difficult, I find it hard to imagine what his life was like before if it was really easier than it is now.

  3. the loony tic

    the man boy is an a-hole. nuff said.