Monthly Archives: May 2017

Covfefe: If You Have the Mirror, We Have the Smoke

Washington (CNN)At 12:06 a.m. ET, the President of the United States tweeted this: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”

By 6 a.m., that tweet had been deleted. Shortly after, Trump tweeted this: “Who can figure out the true meaning of “covfefe” ??? Enjoy!”

It was easy to figure out with just a little research and a phone call to Dr. Harold Bornstein, Twitler’s medical doctor.

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Does This Mean “Fake News” is Fake?

From GIZMODO:

On Tuesday, Sean Spicer held his first press briefing in two weeks, following Donald Trump’s first trip abroad as president. It didn’t go well.

As became increasingly clear during the briefing, Spicer no longer has a handle on the White House’s collapsing definition of “fake news.” One minute, it was anonymous sources in news media (except when they talked to Fox). The next, it was factually incorrect tweets (except when they’re about climate change). Spicey should be pretty good at his job by now, which simply requires him to provide an unrelenting defense of Trump’s tweets, whether he agrees with them or not. But after weeks of dismissing all bad press as fake news, even Spicer seemed unsure what the president’s favorite epithet was supposed to mean.

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Twisted Misters

From TIME:

Secretary of Homeland Security John Kelly defended Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner Sunday following reports that he had attempted to set up a backchannel of communications with Russia.

“There’s a lot of different ways to communicate, backchannel publicly with other countries,” Kelly told NBC News’ Chuck Todd on “Meet the Press.” “I don’t see any issue here relative to Jared.”

Uh-huh. Hope he didn’t hurt himself.

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Now the world can hate him as much as we do!

From the INDEPENDENT:

The alpha-male handshake. The deadpan reaction from NATO leaders. The presidential push to the front of the pack.

Even if Donald Trump hasn’t done a lot of public speaking during his big trip abroad, the body language of the president and those around him has spoken volumes.

Day after day, with no presidential press conferences on the schedule, Trump watchers have instead parsed the president’s movements, and taken away messages that are at times painfully obvious, at times puzzling.
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(Don’t strain your Raisinette eyes. The lizard is Steve Bannon, and it appears Jared Kushner is the most afraid of it.)

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Secrets & Lies Unveiled

From REUTERS:

U.S. President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and close adviser, Jared Kushner, had at least three previously undisclosed contacts with the Russian ambassador to the United States during and after the 2016 presidential campaign, seven current and former U.S. officials told Reuters.

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Instruction of Justice?

From CBS NEWS:

The Department of Justice claims Attorney General Jeff Sessions was “instructed” not to disclose meetings with foreign dignitaries.

Sessions, who met with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak at least twice last year, didn’t list those interactions on his security clearance application because he was told he didn’t need to, according to the DOJ. The forms require applicants to list any contacts with a foreign government or its representatives.

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Vatican Shitty

Vatican City (CNN)–At the most highly anticipated meeting on President Donald Trump’s first foreign odyssey, the ever-shifting pecking order of a tumultuous White House was on full display.

Not seen was one of Trump’s most visible hands: Sean Spicer, the embattled press secretary and Catholic who was eagerly anticipating the meeting with Pope Francis.

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(Yeah, it’s a real book!)

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