The Predisent’s Laywer

It appears that Twitler’s lawyer has convinced him to not tweet during the Comey testimony and allow him to be his mouthpiece. Lawyering up or lawyering down?

From JOE PATRICE at The Atlantic:

Donald Trump’s personal attorney Marc Kasowitz is in a curious position.

Hiring a New York civil litigator for the highest of high-profile government investigations would seem, to most people, completely insane. Equally insane would be sending a lawyer out to deliver a ridiculous, wooden statement at the National Press Club that only puts a further spotlight on their client’s troubles.

criminal20lawyer

Original DVD cover

And now Kasowitz’s press conference has concluded. He took no questions and didn’t deviate much from the written statement released to the media before he began. That written statement was hilariously riddled with typos so maybe it’s good Kasowitz took a few liberties here and there.

Contrary to numerous false press accounts leading up to today’s hearing, Mr. Comey has now finally confirmed publicly what he repeatedly told the President privately: The President was not under investigation as part of any probe into Russian interference.

Many have noted that Trump is a nightmarishly hands-on client and that comes through in this statement. While everyone is talking about possible obstruction, Trump — through his sock puppet — wants everyone to know he wasn’t involved in Russian interference. He really wants you to know he doesn’t know any Russian hookers but that didn’t make it into this draft. Again, the idea that Trump was a Russian agent wasn’t really the discussion on the table, but thanks for letting us know.

…snip…

Unsurprisingly Kasowitz is in tune with the GOP Senator talking points that Trump couldn’t have pressured Comey to end the investigation if he never used the words, “I want you to end this investigation.” One shudders to think how these people would handle a mafia wiretap. Gosh “send our friend from the union on a little trip.” What can that possibly mean?!?

And when I said the statement was riddled with typos, you may think I’m blowing stuff like the missing period in “Mr.” out of proportion. Trust me that we have not yet begun to hit the typos in this bad boy.

This is the first LINE of the statement:

statement

Read the rest, kids, and you will undoubtedly see that the Predisent hires all the best people! Just a side note…I guess we have to wait for his Attorney Genital for the full scoop on the Russian hookers.*

(Video at The Atlantic link above)

*Okay, I admit I added that only because Attorney Genital popped into my head, and I wanted to use it.

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7 Comments

Filed under FBI, humor, James Comey, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Russia, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

7 responses to “The Predisent’s Laywer

  1. I’d be willing to let bygones be bygones. Trump can be “Predisent” and Hillary can be “President.”

  2. vincelamb

    I guess the LSAT doesn’t test for spelling.

    • There’s the problem. He couldn’t spell LSAT.

      Actually, the problem is that Twitler hired someone just like him. A loud and pushy bully who tries to stare down or yell down an opponent. He’s like Roy Cohn, but straight. That might work in some parts of New Yawk when you have half the politicians on the take and the Mafia backing you, but it’s not gonna work anywhere else.

  3. Hehe. Love the Attorney Genital. The little gnome bastard with the elf ears and the eyes of a snake. I got so angry when McCain went off the rails when questioning Comey, He JUST had to being up Clinton’s emails, etc to try to make a point of how her emails compared to the investigation of Trump. I don’t think I worded that right- I just know that McCain caused my blood pressure to rise and I was getting dizzy and had to walk away from my TV.

    And the lying New York attorney was “another matter” as well. Of course that is just what I expected- that they would deny it all and accuse Comey of being disgruntled and also out to get Trump. I could not watch the entire testimony, I was about to get sick, no kidding.

    And Model T not tweeting? He is most likely quite miserable since he has no idea what to do with his idle fingers.

    • I still have only seen snippets. I recorded it and plan on watching it until i fall asleep. I did read about Grandpa Underpants (McCain’s Raisin name), and I think it’s long past time for him to retire. He’s only still in government because of his ego, not because he is doing anything good for the country.

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