Twitler’s Love of Pecker

You can’t make this shit up, kids! The Chairman and CEO of American Media and publisher of the toilet paper called The National Enquirer (among other tabloid rags) is name David….are ya ready?….Pecker!!! So, anyway, the latest is that the Twitler-loving Pecker has been bashing anyone Twitler perceives to be his enemies (like Joe Scarborough and bloody-faced girlfriend Mika Brzezinski) and covering up anything that might be detrimental to the Shithead-in-Chief. Put on your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…

pecker

Original DVD cover

From CBC NEWS:

There’s more to The Morning Joe / Donald Trump spat than was apparent when the U.S. president launched his Twitter attack at the show’s hosts on Thursday. New details add context to the story that make it both curiouser and curiouser and muckier and muckier — not to mention worrisome-r.

On their MSNBC show and in a Washington Post op-ed on Friday, host Joe Scarborough and his on-air/off-air partner Mika Brezezinski [sic] suggested that the White House had tried to blackmail them earlier this year.

They said that “top White House staff” had warned them that the National Enquirer supermarket tabloid was ready to publish a “negative article” about them unless they “begged the president to have the story spiked.”

“We ignored their desperate pleas,” they wrote.

…snip…

Earlier this month, the Enquirer did indeed publish a story about the infidelities of Scarborough and Brezezinski under the headline “Morning Joe Sleazy Cheating Scandal!”

But after Friday’s program, an executive with the Enquirer’s parent denied the story had anything to do with the White House.

…snip…

But it seems there was some kind of discussion, at least at high levels of the White House.

New York Magazine reports there was an exchange of text messages between Scarborough and Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. Kushner apparently said the president would get the Enquirer story spiked if Scarborough called the him to apologize for his show’s negative coverage of him.

Trump acknowledged something was going on when he tweeted about Scarborough that, “He called me to stop a National Enquirer article. I said no!”

Scarborough tweeted back, “Yet another lie. I have texts from your top aides and phone records.”

…snip…

The possibility that Trump could pick up the phone and spike a story at the National Enquirer is not the least fanciful. In fact it’s almost a certainty.

Trump is much admired by American Media CEO David Pecker. They have known each other for decades. Pecker launched a magazine about Trump in 1997 called Trump Style that flattered his man in the glossiest ways.

…snip…

Guided by Pecker, the Enquirer went after Hillary Clinton last year with a special investigation under the headline: “HILLARY: CORRUPT! RACIST! CRIMINAL!”

It’s covered the Trump presidency with front page stories such as: “TRUMP TAKES CHARGE! SUCCESS IN JUST 36 DAYS!”

[Jeffrey] Toobin quotes another media magnate, Gus Wenner, as saying Pecker told him, “very bluntly that he had killed all sorts of stories for Trump.”

What’s that, kids? What kind of stories did he kill? Glad you asked. From The Slot at Jezebel (November 4, 2016):

In a story that dropped late Friday night, the Wall Street Journal reports that a Playboy model who says she had an affair with Donald Trump got a $150,000 paycheck from the National Enquirer, which curiously sat on the story after buying it.

The Journal, citing documents and “people familiar with the matter,” reports that in August, the tabloid paid $150,000 to Karen McDougal, the 1998 Playmate of the Year who said she enjoyed a consensual relationship with Trump in 2006—a year after his wedding to his third and current wife, Melania.

The Journal categorizes the exchange as a “catch and kill,” where the tabloid bought her story to silence her. A source tells the Journal that despite paying out six figures for the story, the Enquirer’s parent company, American Media, “didn’t intend to run it.”

The Enquirer put out a statement saying nuh-uhhhhhhh!!! They said they gave her 150,000 bucks for 2 years worth of fitness columns and cover pics.

McDougal has not, since the August deal, done any fitness columns or magazine covers. The Journal also reports McDougal’s contract with the agent who represented her in the American Media deal specified that their business concerned “claims against Donald Trump and or assisting client in negotiating a confidentiality agreement and/or life rights related to interactions with Donald Trump and/or negotiating assignment of exclusive press opportunities regarding same.”

And don’t forget all that stuff during the campaign, kids. From Esquire:

Writer Jeffrey Toobin describes Pecker encouraging his writers to look the other way when it came to negative Trump coverage during the campaign, a practice which has continued now that Trump is in office.

“We used to go after newsmakers no matter what side they were on,” a former Enquirer staffer told Toobin. “And Trump is a guy who is running for President with a closet full of baggage. He’s the ultimate target-rich environment. The Enquirer had a golden opportunity, and they completely looked the other way.”

Of course, the tabloid didn’t shy away from stories about Trump’s opponents during the campaign. They famously published a story linking Ted Cruz’s father to John F. Kennedy’s assassination—which Trump referenced publicly. (This is ridiculous.)

They also suggested Cruz was cheating on his wife, Heidi Cruz, with at least five different women. (Cruz denied the allegations.)

Seriously, he had to deny it? I defy anyone to find  women who would voluntarily screw Ted Cruz. But let’s continue…

They reported that neurosurgeon-turned-presidential candidate Ben Carson once left a sponge inside a patient’s brain. (Carson addressed this and basically said: it’s complicated.)

And they published countless nasty stories about his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, like “Hillary Clinton’s Satanic Inner Circle.” (Also ridiculous.)

You have to read all of the articles in full. I wonder what the movie will be called. All the President’s Peckers?

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Hillary Clinton, humor, Joe Scarborough, movies, MSNBC, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

2 responses to “Twitler’s Love of Pecker

  1. ”All the President’s Peckers?” Love this.. What a complicated mess. Nat Enq, is trashy just like Model T. I have no doubt that all of this is true. Great job here Noonie.

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