His Shitstain is on Every Can!

From  at Esquire:

On Tuesday night, the voters in the great state of Alabama pushed a lawless theocratic lunatic named Roy Moore one tiny step away from a seat in the United States Senate. Moore lost his job as chief justice of that state’s supreme court twice; on both occasions, he lost it by flaunting the authority of the federal court system as though he were Orval Faubus in 1957.

dinty moore

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Lawless.

Moore believes that homosexual conduct should be illegal, and, as he said, he believes:
“God is sovereign over our government, over our law. When we exclude ‘Him’ from our lives, exclude ‘Him’ from our courts, then they will fail We’ve forgotten that God is intimately connected with this nation. Without God there would be no freedom to believe what you want.”
Theocratic.

And, to conclude, from The Washington Post:

“There is no such thing as evolution,” he said at one point as he waited for his lunch. Species might adapt to their environment, he continued, but that has nothing to do with the origins of life described in the Bible. “That we came from a snake?” he asked rhetorically. “No, I don’t believe that.”

Lunatic.

Period.

…snip…

And, no, when it comes to the people who voted for Moore, I don’t have to “respect their beliefs.” I don’t have to “understand where they’re coming from.” I don’t have to “see it from their side.”

…snip…

Why do I not have to “respect their beliefs,” besides the fact that most of those beliefs belong in a cage? I don’t have to “respect their beliefs” because the U.S. Senate to which they are preparing to send him is in the process of screwing them with their pants on and they could care less.

The Senate’s tax plan emerged full-grown from the forehead of Mania on Tuesday. As is customary for some documents, it is vague in almost all its major details. But we do know that it eliminates the estate tax entirely—a plutocratic goodie that probably caused a postmortem emission from the grave of John D. Rockefeller that looked like the gusher from his first oil well—and it gives to the middle class with one hand while taking it away from the other, thereby robbing Peter to bribe Paul.

…snip…

What I do know is that the people who elected Roy Moore elected him to join the Senate majority that will pass this thing, if and when it ever comes to a vote. Then, come some April morn, they will be stunned to discover that they can’t deduct what they pay in state taxes anymore, and that their charitable contributions don’t count any more either. How could ol’ Judge Roy let this happen?

Because he’s a lawless theocratic lunatic, that’s how. Because you voted for him specifically because he was a lawless theocratic lunatic. It was the basis of his campaign, no matter how many times Steve Bannon tells you you’re part of a bold populist crusade. He very likely doesn’t know enough about tax policy to throw to the cat, so he’ll go along on that as long as they let him make his floor speeches about how Cecile Richards is an imp from hell. (Condom: The Devil’s Party Hat.) And you’ll cheer him so loudly that you won’t even notice that your pocket’s being picked again by someone with a solid-gold Rolex on his wrist.

Read the whole righteous rant at the link above, kids. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

From THE HUFFINGTON POST:

In February, several months after being suspended from court for defying federal orders on same-sex marriage, Moore appeared on the radio show of a pastor who has claimed the Bible calls for the death penalty for gay people.

He’d appeared on pastor Kevin Swanson’s program several times over the years, and there was a clear affinity between the men who believe they are two lone crusaders for Christ. Moore lamented to Swanson: “Our problem today is we’re denying that there is even a God or that he has sovereignty over our country.”

When the pastor asked him: “What does one do when God’s laws conflict with man’s laws?” Moore responded, “God’s laws are always superior to man’s laws.”
It’s an extreme view that would put an elected judge far outside the bounds of the legal mainstream: The U.S. government relies on its judicial branch to maintain checks and balances and uphold the law of the land.

But, for Moore, there’s no contradiction. The Vietnam veteran and lifelong Christian holds the view that the U.S. Constitution is a kind of extension of the Bible, and that the Founding Fathers intended their America to be a Christian nation.

In 2014, he went so far as to suggest that the First Amendment applies only to Christians. Speaking at an anti-abortion luncheon, Moore said: “Everybody, to include the U.S. Supreme Court, has been deceived as to one little word in the First Amendment called ‘religion.’”

…snip…

“They don’t want to do that, because that acknowledges a creator God,” Moore argued. “Buddha didn’t create us. Mohammed didn’t create us. It’s the God of the Holy Scriptures. They didn’t bring a Quran over on the pilgrim ship, Mayflower. Let’s get real. Let’s go back and learn our history.”

Moore, who counts former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and “Duck Dynasty” star Phil Robertson among his supporters, has a long history of flouting U.S. law in favor of his own religious beliefs.

In 1997, Moore defied a federal court order to halt Christian prayers before sessions and remove a homemade plaque of the Ten Commandments he kept in his courtroom. He counter-sued the ACLU for allegedly infringing upon his freedom of speech and declared that the Constitution is “founded upon a fundamental belief in God.”

Four years later, he erected a massive granite monument to the Ten Commandments in the Alabama Judicial Building in Montgomery. When a federal judge ordered Moore to remove the monument, he refused. As a result, Alabama’s judicial ethics panel removed Moore from office ― his first tenure as chief justice.

…snip…

Over the ensuing years, Moore twice sought the Republican nomination for Alabama governor ― in 2006 and 2010. And in 2012, he launched a campaign to reclaim his old post as the state’s chief justice.

Moore toured anti-abortion rallies during his campaign, telling crowds: “This is not just about religion, this is about law; the organic law of our country.”

For Moore, issues like abortion and same-sex relationships are part of this “organic law” and are as clearly defined as the law of gravity.

…snip…

Moore has said he believes “homosexual conduct should be illegal” and that same-sex relations are akin to bestiality. After the U.S. Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states, Moore, who’d been reelected as chief justice of Alabama, instructed state judges to flout the order. In September 2016, he was once again removed from court for the remainder of his term.

…snip…

Equally ludicrous to Moore is the idea that non-Christian faiths have the same religious legitimacy as his own. During a campaign stop this summer the candidate called Islam a “false religion” that’s “completely opposite with what our First Amendment stands for.”

Moore has also suggested that the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks happened because the U.S. has “distanced” itself from God. He claimed God was angry at Americans who “legitimize sodomy” and “legitimize abortion.”

He used the same logic in August to say that “shootings” are also a result of rulings against prayer in public schools and council meetings. “We’ve asked for it,” Moore said at an event on defending religious liberties. “We’ve taken God out of everything.”

 

7 Comments

Filed under abortion, ACLU, Advertising, Christianity, Homophobia, Homosexuality, humor, parody, politics, religion, Republicans, Sarah Palin, satire, Senate, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

7 responses to “His Shitstain is on Every Can!

  1. Hey kids! So sorry for my absence. I had no TV and no internets for 2 days! 😮 Luckily, AT&T has a superhero named Adam who came here, made friends with Macho, The Raisin’s puggle substitute mascot when Raisin is busy, and fixed everything. He even gave me new remote controls that light up! 😀 I didn’t have a lot of time, so I threw this together. Going to try to catch up on what’s happening in the world. But, first, I’m hungry.

  2. Friend of the court

    do not eat Moore Stew. Why does mad cow come to mind? This guy gave a sermon, and has a holy fucking mission to bring his god, to everyone.

  3. Lord have mercy on the Senate and the USA and I’m not trying to be funny here since Moore is apparently a religious fanatic. How in the world does one become so obsessed with how folks have sex? I’ve seen this before. People who are so vehemently vocal about something are often hiding what they are mouthy about. Could he be a closet gay man? Just wait till the gay community gets ramped up. Furthermore what in the world is wrong with folks in Alabama?

    • Ol’ Roy protests a bit too much, doesn’t he? I wouldn’t be surprised if he walks around the house dressed in the little woman’s lingerie.

      Want to see what a good religious upbringing results in? Here’s a little something I found about one of Ol’ Roy’s sons. From ALABAMA POLITICAL REPORTER:

      Caleb Moore, son of suspended Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, was arrested over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend – his eighth arrest in the last five years.
      …snip…
      A source familiar with the arrest told APR on Sunday that Moore had been arrested for trespassing and hunting without a license.

      It is the latest in a long line of arrests for the 25-year-old, dating back to 2013, when he was arrested for third-degree domestic violence in Troy.

      A few months later, he was arrested in St. Clair County on possession of drug paraphernalia and given a three-month suspended sentence. He was also ordered to attend a drug rehab clinic, where he later tested positive for drug use. A judge ruled he met the conditions of his treatment plan.

      In 2014, he was arrested twice – in both Florida and Alabama — for driving under the influence and on drug possession charges in Baldwin County.

      In 2015, he was arrested again for drug possession, this time in Troy. Those charges were dropped when he entered a pre-trial diversion program.

      In all, despite multiple DUI arrests and three arrests on drug-related charges, Caleb Moore has never been sentenced to jail time.

  4. the loony tic

    a fanatically religious, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, redneck heading to congress?! say it isn’t so!

  5. Yeah, loony, how will we be able to distinguish him from all the other ones? It’ll be like looking at a Where’s Waldo? poster.

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