The Worst Ladies

Oh, kids, you are gonna love this story! So, Ivana Trump, the first in a series of mistakes, wrote a book called Raising Trump. I guess she wants the rest of us to know how she bred and nurtured the three horrid grifters she squeezed out—Ivanka, her brother Daryl and her other brother Daryl— so that we don’t make the same mistakes. So, anyway, she managed to do an interview on Good Morning America through lips so inflated by fillers that is says 34 psi CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE inside her mouth, and she made a funny.  She said she has Twitler’s phone number at the White House, but she doesn’t call him, “because Melania is there. And I don’t want to cause any kind of jealousy or something like that, because I’m basically first Trump wife. Okay? I’m first lady.” Well, kids, Melanoma Melania was pisssssed!!!

HUMORESQUE

Original movie poster

We might have wondered if Melanoma Melania was really angry, since she hasn’t been able to really move her face and show emotion for the last 7 or 8 years, but we have the proof. Her spokesperson sent out a statement:

[Melanoma Melania] plans to use her title and role to help children, not sell books. There is clearly no substance to this statement from an ex. Unfortunately only attention seeking and self-serving noise.

I’ll wait until you all stop laughing about Melanoma Melania planning to use her role to help children who are not related to her and/or her stringing together enough English words to write a book.

It appears that the first and the third Mrs. Twitler are not exactly friendly. Back in 2015, Fat Lips Ivana talked to the New Yawk Daily News  about #3’s qualifications to be First Lady:

[Melanoma Melania] can’t talk, she can’t give a speech, she doesn’t go to events, she doesn’t (seem to) want to be involved.

There has no comment yet from sloppy seconds, Marla Maples, who is trying to find some ransom money for daughter Tiffany who has not been seen for months, or from wife #4-in-waiting Hope Hicks.

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5 Comments

Filed under humor, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

5 responses to “The Worst Ladies

  1. Drama: Real housewives of NYC.

  2. the loony tic

    yep, trump has turned this country into a reality tv show. i wonder if there will be bells and whistles and prizes awarded to the winners? and to think this story was considered newsworthy. oh that’s right, news has been replaced by entertainment news. my bad.

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