They’d better hope shoe polish isn’t poisonous after all that bootlicking

From Chris Cillizza:

(CNN)—Congressional Republicans gathered at the White House Wednesday afternoon to celebrate the passage of a major tax cut bill with President Trump. It was a love-fest.

history of the world part 1

Front row: Orrin Hatch Middle row: Lisa Murkowski, Twitler, Diane Black Standing: Tim Scott, Kevin Brady, Mike Pence, Eddie Munst…I mean, Paul Ryan, Kevin McCarthy

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Below I’ve ranked each of the 11 speakers at the tax cut victory lap event by the effusiveness of their praise for Trump.


11. Tim Scott: Praising Ivanka Trump and Marco Rubio for all they did to make this bill become law?


10. Lisa Murkowski: “This is a bright day for America, so we thank you for that,” said the Alaska Republican.


9. Dan Sullivan: Sullivan, an Alaska Republican senator and the least known of all the speakers, delivered a sort of central-casting note of praise for the President. “I want to thank you on behalf of all Alaskans and the American people because it’s the right policy, and we’re finally, finally doing it,” said Sullivan.


8. Don Young: […S]porting the coolest pair of glasses in the crowd, Young delivered a solid — if not spectacular — take on Trump’s #MAGA mantra. “This bill does what’s right for this nation, and the great land will be great again,” said Young. “Thank you, Mr. President.”


7. Paul Ryan: The speaker of the House was short but very sweet. He let Trump know that the tax bill “could not have been done without exquisite presidential leadership.”


6. Kevin Brady: “People often ask, ‘When did you know? When did you know tax reform could be achieved in America for the first time in 31 years?’ ” Brady recounted. “My answer’s always the same: November 8, when President Trump, you were elected President of the United States.”


5. Mitch McConnell: […] He ticked off a series of Trump accomplishments — including the number of judicial appointees in the President’s first year — noting to Trump: “You hold the record.” (Earlier, in his own remarks, Trump bragged of “records all over the place, that will continue, and then some.”) McConnell wasn’t done, though! “This has been a year of extraordinary accomplishment for the Trump administration,” he threw in.


4. Kevin McCarthy:  […]”We would not be here today if it wasn’t for you,” McCarthy told Trump. And: “This is a big day for America. This is America’s comeback.”

3. Diane Black: Black, who is running for governor in the Volunteer State in 2018, was right on brand. “Thank you to Mr. President,” she said to Trump. “Thank you, President Trump, for allowing us to have you as our President and to make America great again.”


2. Mike Pence: […] “Thank you for your boundless faith in the American people,” he told Trump. “President Trump has been making history since the first day of this administration,” he added.


1. Orrin Hatch:  […] “You’re one heck of a leader,” he told Trump. But that was just the start! “This President hasn’t even been in office even a year, and look at all the things that he’s been able to get done,” Hatch added. “By sheer will in many ways.” Then came the coup de grace, in which Hatch suggested that if things kept on like this, Trump’s presidency might go down as the greatest of all time.


Filed under Alaska, Don Young, humor, Lisa Murkowski, Mitch McConnell, movies, Orrin Hatch, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

11 responses to “They’d better hope shoe polish isn’t poisonous after all that bootlicking

  1. They are all full of them selves, have no moral fiber, love to brown nose (why?) and are like the blind leading the blind. They think they are doing themselves a favor by kissing up to Trump. They think he will not criticize then if they kiss his behind. What a bunch of trashy politicians. I hope it comes back to haunt them. Buzzterds!!!

    • Actually, they are doing themselves a favor by kissing Twitler’s asshole (they go way beyond plain old buttock smooching. That seems rather romantic compared to what they did.) At least, they are doing themselves a favor in the sense that they are lining their own pockets. That’s the motive for way too many of them. For others, they are in red districts, so getting their lips chapped on Twitler’s ass is good for them politically (at least until gerrymandering is a thing of the past). In the long run, though, they have lost their souls and their credibility. As soon as people start losing their health care and realize that they are going to have to shell out more on a local level, because the roads are shitty and bridges are falling, etc., then it will all come back to haunt these shitheads.

      By the way, if you want to know how truly evil they really are, Darrell Issa, Beelzebub himself, voted against the bill, because it would make the people in his district pay more in taxes.

  2. the loony tic

    i love all your details. pence as the pope with the mad magazine guy behind him, chick feed, knee pads. lol! toooo funny!

  3. ZOMG, knee pads! You went there! Well it serves them right. Their sycophancy is all the more sickening knowing how Trump has publicly insulted several of them over the last couple of years. They don’t even have any self-pride. And he’ll be back to insulting them again the minute anything goes wrong in the future.

    Glad to see Ryan is still working out and the guy next to him (sorry, I don’t know all these people’s faces) is wearing his tax cut on his helmet. They flaunt it these days. And it never occurred to me before, but there’s a slight facial resemblance between Alfred E. Neuman and Ayn Rand, when you see them together like that.

    Murky deserves the Chevron symbol since the price of her vote was selling out her own state’s ecological protections. A lot of this tax “reform” can be reversed next time Democrats get full control of the government, but ecosystems ruined by drilling and oil spills stay ruined.

    • I usually try to be a little more subtle, but there had to be kneepads! That was so sickening. I only saw clips of it. I couldn’t stomach watching the whole thing. I kept getting distracted by Dean Heller standing behind the podium. He looked like a grinning donkey!

      I knew I could count on you to find Eddie Munst…I mean, Paul Ryan’s barbell, Infidel! I should have added a caption so everyone would know who is who. I’ll add it now.

  4. It’s so hard not to vomit …

  5. Nonnie, I hope in spite of the Orange menace and the hard year you’ve had, that you have Happy Holidays and a much, much, much better New Year. Thanks for helping to keep me sane!

    • I hope we all have a better year next year, my blog sistah. We will keep each other as sane as possible.

      To you, my dear Elyse, and all my darling Raisinettes, a happy holiday (eat shit, fundies!).🎁❤️ 🕎🎄🎁🍸🎉🎊

  6. Thank you for making me laugh at the unlaughable.