From Rex Huppke at the Chicago Tribune:
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from President Donald Trump it’s that “chain migration” is extremely bad and dangerous and it’s allowing truly evil people into our country.
That’s why we must all come together as Americans — right now — and demand the immediate deportation of first lady Melania Trump’s potentially truly evil parents.
I know it sounds extreme, but I’m 100 percent certain it’s what President Trump would want us, as patriots, to do.
Chain migration is a crazy immigration process that allows U.S. citizens to sponsor immediate family members for legal residency.
It’s technically called a “family reunification policy” and it has technically been a bedrock part of the country’s legal immigration system for more than 50 years, but Trump is smart enough to know that “family reunification” doesn’t sound mean or scary or vaguely racist enough, so he goes with “chain migration.”
Anywho, Trump has warned us over and over and over about the dangers of this policy.
He has called for “an END to the horrible Chain Migration” and railed against it even more during a bipartisan meeting with lawmakers in January: “Chain migration is bringing in many, many people with one, and often it doesn’t work out very well. Those many people are not doing us right.”
Clearly this chain migration business has to stop. Just the other night, Fox News host and avid Trump supporter Laura Ingraham lamented how “both illegal and legal immigration” are irrevocably changing America.
Well, you can imagine my shock Thursday when I read that the parents of Melania Trump became U.S. citizens during a naturalization ceremony in New York. And how did that happen? CHAIN MIGRATION!
Viktor and Amalija Knavs were sponsored by their daughter, the first lady.
A pair of Slovenians were foisted on the America we know and love.
The family’s lawyer, Michael Wildes, when asked by The New York Times if they obtained citizenship through “chain migration,” said: “I suppose.”
Back in December, a tweet from the White House Twitter account read: “This system of Chain Migration de-skills the labor force, puts downward pressure on wages, increases the deficit, and undermines national security.”
The tweet came with a graphic that said the policy “endangers national security” and “imperils the economic security of vulnerable American workers.”
If that’s all true, then Melania Trump’s parents are a clear and present danger. And they’ve got to go.
After all, what do we really know about these two Slovenians? According to news reports, the mother worked in a textile factory and the father was a traveling car salesman. And if that’s not suspicious enough, Victor Knavs was a member of the Communist Party.
If there’s one thing the America I know and love doesn’t need, it’s a dang communist. And a Slovenian communist car salesman? He’s just going to take a job away from a hardworking American communist car salesman.
I realize this may be difficult for the first lady, but as her husband has noted many times before, America has the “dumbest laws on immigration in the world.”
So there’s no way the president could allow his in-laws to use one of the immigration laws he has specifically condemned to become legal residents, right?