Looking for lies in the White House is like looking for a needle in a needlestack

From THE HILL:

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) said Thursday that President Trump should use lie-detector tests to find out which senior administration official authored an anonymous op-ed in The New York Times this week blasting the president.

meet the parents

Original DVD cover

Paul said Trump should investigate and use lie detector tests to identify the person, who also claimed in the op-ed that Cabinet officials have quietly discussed using the 25th Amendment to remove Trump from office.

“It’s not unprecedented for people with security clearances to be asked whether or not they’re revealing things against the law under oath and also by lie detector,” Paul said.

…snip…

Paul warned that if the op-ed’s author has a security clearance, he or she could also divulge national security secrets to the media.

…snip…

But when asked whether Congress should also investigate, Paul shook his head no.

A number of Trump Cabinet members on Thursday rushed to distance themselves from the op-ed, which Trump has blasted, accusing the author of “treason.”

They need to hook Little Randy to a lie detector and ask him the following questions:

  1. What the fuck is up with your hair?
  2.  Are you afraid of not being reelected, so you are kissing up to Twitler in hopes for a position in the administration so you can put it on your resume when you attempt to run for president?
  3.  You do realize, don’t you, that most of the country thinks you’re a ridiculous asswipe and won’t vote for you, don’t you?
  4.  If you think you are so good at looking for a mole, why didn’t you become a dermatologist instead of an eye doctor?

I’m watching CNN on TV now, and so far the White House has a list of 12 suspects. They reported that Empty Barrel John Kelly is okaying this moronic idea, but he is delaying its implementation until all cabinet members buy shares in lie detector companies, since they will no doubt throw away a lot of taxpayer money on this bullshit. I don’t yet see any newspaper reports confirming that Kelly gave the okay, but it wouldn’t surprise me a bit. Anything to keep the peace in the adult daycare center.

 

 

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17 Comments

Filed under Congress, humor, movies, New York Times, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, snark, Wordpress Political Blogs

17 responses to “Looking for lies in the White House is like looking for a needle in a needlestack

  1. the rub

    your photoshopping skills are admirable as is your cache of details. and that’s no lie! honest!

    • Thanks for saying that, because I posted the image three times, because each time, I noticed another mistake that I hadn’t noticed when I had it open in Photoshop. I think I need one of those super-monitors like Infidel has.

  2. “Universal laughingstock” indeed. There could be some positives to this idea. Given how notoriously unreliable lie detectors are, it would ratchet up the paranoia among the staff even higher and make the whole operation even more dysfunctional. Actually the op-ed alone is already bringing benefits — the more Trump focuses on ferreting out the “traitor” (“list of suspects” indeed), the less he can focus on inflicting more evils on the world.

    In your scenario, if Trump is going to gobble McDonalds and KFC during interrogations, the resulting flatulence could constitute additional torture to extract confessions. (Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition?) Either ex-military guys have started adding military decoration to their PJs, or the uniforms look a lot more comfy than they used to be. I don’t get the significance of the bunny slippers, though.

    • I just heard Nicolle Wallace suggest that everyone on staff at the White House should have the lie detector tests and have them televised. The first question should bd, “Do you think Twitler is fit to be President.” I like that idea, even though I still look at Wallace through a jaundiced eye, because she continues to defend Chimpy and pushes the McCain myth.

      You have to wonder if someone in the White House wrote the op-ed specifically to distract Twitler, because s/he knew that he had his mind set on something ever more outrageous than usual. S/he knew he would be like a dog with a bone once he heard about the op-ed. That opens more possibilities as to who Anomonomomous (Twitler pronunciation) might be.

      I knew you would notice the medals. When I think about what Kelly’s pajamas would look like, I imagine he would have his military paraphernalia on them. I was going to say that I added the bunny slippers just because I thought it would be funny. That would have been true, but after you asked, I thought about it, and I think it was a combination of my adding my disrespect for Empty Barrel Kelly as well as the juxtaposition of his persona as some big tough guy keeping order in the White House as opposed as his general flaccidity when it comes to actually standing up to him.

  3. I like the descriptions of the WH staff. At any rate, the poster is a good one. And it just might be more fitting that one could imagine.

    The Rand Paul guy, well, I have always believed him to be a first class jerk as well as a rear end kisser. His hair is his crowning glory, Make no mistake about that so he had to go gussie it up, so he’ll look purty. He is also adept at running his mouth while accomplishing nothing.

    A lie detector to be used in the White House. Must this country keep being the laughing stock of the world.? I can imagine what England, France, Germany, Canada and all the rest of our allies is now saying. The leaders are probably crying from laughing so hard.

    • I have to wonder if Putin has kompromat on every single member of Congress. Little Randy used to pride himself on being the contrarian libertarian like his moronic father. They made their bones on being against the White House, no matter who was in the Oval Office. Suddenly, Rat Top Randy is Twitler’s best friend and his pseudo-ambassador to Russia. Something stinks big time, and I don’t think it’s the rat’s nest sitting on Little Randy’s head.

      • I only know what my instincts tell me, Rand Paul has always seemed like a flake to me. R. Paul and all the rest of the snow flakes that kiss up to El Trumpo surely can not be there out of loyalty? Are they as demented and clueless as El Trumpo himself? Do I understand correctly about what you have written that R. Paul is a collaborator too because he has dirty fingers as well as Trump? Or is he hoping to get a prominent post?

        • My Spidey sense says that he is an ass-kisser who wants a position in the administration to put on his resume and that he has been compromised. Maybe he was compromised first, and he feels that his only option is to kiss up to Twitler and the Russians. Both can be true, There is not other explanation for him delivering messages to and from Moscow. I don’t remember Ragtop Randy being such an enthusiastic Russiaphile in the past. This is not libertarianism. Randy wanted to run for President in 2016. Did they approach him just like they approached Twitler? Or did his daddy owe the Russkies a favor? Remember how he defended Putin after the downing of the Malaysian airplane a few years ago? Or maybe, when Russia was trying to clear the Rethug field to knock out all contenders so Twitler would be the nominee, did they hack all the other contenders? Does Russia have dirt on Little Randy that they keep in their pocket for when they need to remind him he had better behave? Maybe some investigative reporter has to look at all these politicians who seem to be ion Russia’s side. We can’t trust Beauregard Sessions to do it, and inquiring minds want to know.

          • I think you are correct on all accounts. I forgot about Randy’s defense of Russia and the Malaysian airplane . Yes, indeed he is crooked curly mop, top. It is baffling has this rear-end kisser continues to get re-elected. It is way past time for him to go back to his state and his rocking chair.

  4. Should have become a dermatologist. You are brilliant, Nonnie.

  5. Brilliant! These jokers might pass a lie detector test, actually, given the complete lack of conscience about lying that seems to abound in the WH. Rand is, I’m sad to say, my Senator. The only thing he has going for him is that he is marginally better than my other Senator (McConnell). Maybe he admires *rump’s Tribblehead. Straight Tribbles look slightly more real than curly Tribbles.

    • Hi Elena! Nice to see you.

      My condolences on having two such loathsome senators. I feel half your pain, as one of mine is Little Marco Rubio. Not a lot of people know that the last name Rubio gets its root from a long-forgotten Latin word for jellyfish. (Don’t google that.)

      I think the first person who should have to take a polygraph test is Little Randy himself. They should ask him what all the trips back and forth to Russia are really about and if he is being blackmailed by Pootie-Poot’s thugs.

      Remember the days when we would laugh at ourselves for being paranoid? I miss those days, because nobody should be laughing now.

  6. My guess is Pence, and I’m sticking to it!

    • Nah, he doesn’t have the balls. If a Pence did pen the letter, I think Mother is a better bet. Seriously, though, Pence is too chicken to get his hands dirty, even though he is the only one Twitler can’t fire. However, I can see him encouraging someone else to write the letter, leaving himself the ability to deny any knowledge. I suspect there is a lot of winking and nodding going on. One of my first guesses was Marc Short. He used to be Pence-ildick’s chief-of-staff, so he would be familiar with Pence’s speech pattern and might have even written his old speeches, including those that contained the famous “lodestar” references. He now works in the White House for Twitler and would be categorized as a “senior adviser.” All that said, I still think it was a collaborative effort, but one person was elected to write the actual letter. It might be the only election in the U.S. that wasn’t tainted.

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