The Beer Facts

You have to wonder what the FBI will be investigating now that Senator Jeff Flake had a moment of conscience or courage (or if he is playing a game like Susan Collins was when she voted Betsy Wetsy DeVos out of committee knowing she would have enough votes to be confirmed even though Susie voted against her. But I digress…). I’m hoping they look into his Georgetown Prep yearbook references.

schlitz beer brett kavanaugh

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From  SLATE:

It probably was neither Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse’s or Brett Kavanaugh’s proudest moment when the Rhode Island Democrat asked the Supreme Court nominee to explain what a “devil’s triangle” was, referring to a note in Kavanaugh’s now-infamous Georgetown Prep yearbook. An exasperated Kavanaugh claimed it was a drinking game with “three glasses in a triangle,” similar to Quarters. Right.

This was just one example where Kavanaugh offered the most innocent possible explanation for his yearbook entries that a reasonable person would read as references to sex or excessive drinking. It’s not a stretch to say most of Kavanaugh’s explanations don’t pass the smell test.

Take devil’s triangle. While it’s remotely possible that Kavanaugh and his friends used an idiosyncratic definition, the euphemism typically refers to a threesome with two men and one woman. This is directly pertinent to Christine Blasey Ford’s allegation for obvious reasons.

…snip…

And then there’s boof. The reference in the yearbook is “Judge—Have You Boofed Yet?” That’s his friend Mark Judge, the alleged witness to the assault on Ford and, by his own admission, a man with a severe drinking problem at the time. Yet Kavanaugh said in the midst of testimony, during which he mentioned his past and present fondness for beer dozens of times, that he was referring to “flatulence.” Oh, please.

In the yearbook, “Boofed” came right before “Beach Week Ralph Club—Biggest Contributor,” a superlative Kavanaugh said he earned not necessarily because of heavy drinking but because “I’m known to have a weak stomach … whether it’s with beer or with spicy food or anything.” When Whitehouse pursued the “Ralph Club” question further, Kavanaugh cut off any discussion of his possible excessive drinking with a recitation of his résumé. When Whitehouse tried to bring him around back to alcohol consumption—”Did it relate to alcohol? You haven’t answered that.”—Kavanaugh said, “I like beer. I like beer. I don’t know if you do” and “Do you like beer, Senator, or not?” Do you?!

…snip…

Look, it feels silly to parse yearbook notations that are, literally, juvenalia. But it matters: One of the only ways to square Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony with Kavanaugh’s adamant denials is to presume that he attacked her while he was so drunk he later blacked out and had no memory of doing so. The crass sexism in these references is relevant too, as Kavanaugh has referred numerous times to his respect for women and friendship with women in high school, college, and beyond as a reason to not believe Ford’s account.

A straight-A student with a close knit group of friends who enjoyed some beers on a summer weekend before going off to Yale sounds like someone who could be a Supreme Court justice. A binge-drinking football player who, along with his friends, boasted of their supposed sexual exploits at the expense of women sounds like something else entirely.

And let’s not FFFFFFForget “I Survived the FFFFFFFourth of July.” According to the Urban Dictionary, it’s short for Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, Fuck them, Forget them, Forever.

Isn’t that special?

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8 Comments

Filed under Advertising, Betsy DeVos, Democrats, FBI, humor, John Cornyn, Mike Crapo, parody, politics, Republicans, satire, Senate Judiciary Committee, Sheldon Whitehouse, snark, Supreme Court, Susan Collins, Wordpress Political Blogs

8 responses to “The Beer Facts

  1. Getting the Schitz must be kind of inconvenient for boofing purposes.

    Impressive job modifying the writing on the two appearances of the label to remove the L. It couldn’t have been easy with that font.

    I understand the “Devil’s triangle” reference in the background, but I don’t think Satan would want to be associated with this bunch. Dude’s got standards. Even he would cringe at this moronic slang.

    I really don’t envy the Republicans right now. “We put Bluto on the Supreme Court [or tried to]” isn’t exactly a campaign theme for the ages.

    • Infidel, manipulating difficult fonts is one of my favorite things to do. I always like to use the original letters as much as possible. This one was easy. I just cut and pasted and stuck the letters together. The hard ones are when only some of the letters are already available, and I have to come up with a way to make the letters I need match the font. If there are too many letters missing, I have to look for a similar font. That usually takes longer than making the rest of the poster.

      I think the devil wouldn’t associate with this asshole, because the devil likes people who can think on their feet. With all his self-congratulations about how brilliant he is, St. Brett the Virgin might be book smart, but he’s not street smart. If he was, he would have answered that he did a lot of shit in high school he isn’t proud of, he drank too much, and there are things he doesn’t remember, he apologizes to anyone he might have harmed, and he has learned from his mistakes and has become a better man. He couldn’t do this, because Mrs. Eleanor Shaw Iselin…oops, I mean Mrs. Bates…oops, I mean Mommy Dearest Prosecutor Kavanaugh raised her only child and holder of all her dreams to believe that he is special and he was born to sit on the Supreme Court. Actually, Chief Justice, so someone might have to flash a queen of diamonds to get John Roberts out of the way. Mommy Dearest would not be happy to hear that St, Brett the Virgin did anything that might jeopardize the future she envisioned for him, so he can’t knock down that house of cards he constructed in his head by admitting he acted like an asshole. The more I watch him, the more I think he’s a psychopath. He doesn’t seem to have an empathy for anyone other than himself. I think he didn’t step away from the nomination, because he really doesn’t care about his wife and family. I think they are just accessories he picked up along the way, because it fit the picture of what a judge or justice would look like.

      This is a lose/lose for the Rethugs. If the FBI can corroborate his lies, they can’t confirm him, and Twitler’s base is pissed that the Senate didn’t pull this off. If the FBI can’t corroborate, the left will be pissed off, because we know St. Brett the Virgin lied under oath, and we will be spurred into voting to secure a Democratic House (and hopefully Senate) who will conduct actual investigations with actual subpoena power to expose the truth.

      Well, that was a lot longer than I had planned. Sorry, Infidel!

  2. the rub

    how did you get this photo of kavanuagh? it’s perfect! he has all the classic symptoms of an alcholic. and i cringe to think what the fbi is going to come out with this week.

    • Loonietic! The pic is just a little bit of Photoshop magic. I took a pic of St, Brett the Virgin with his eyes closed and stuck on an open eye from another photo and then added the mussed hair. Sometimes it takes just a little bit of desperation…I mean, imagination and no true Photoshop genius.

  3. Gee the things I learn here. I had looked up boofing and devil’s triangle. Anyhow when he was asked how much he drank and what was too many he answered in the most absurd manner, It was something about the blood alcohol level and he hemmed and hawed about that plus some other irrelevant answers. The man is a lying machine.

    How in the world can republicans say the democrats are being terribly unfair? I think all republicans are just plain ass crazy. I see their nutty and biased comments on FB and I am both amused and flabbergasted.

    One of my FB so- called “friends” who is blind as a bat, posted a share from some one saying: Kavanaugh’s wife is from Abilene,Texas. The poster was asking folks to pray for K. and his family. Prayers indeed. They need more than prayers. Of course I passed on by that post. I must say those rednecks are desperate.

    • I had to do a lot of googling as well, and when your search brings you to Urban Dictionary over and over again, you know that something untoward is going on.

      I wish that the media and the Dem senators would concentrate more on his demonstrable lies. The sexual claims are going to be difficult to prove. I know it’s not a trial, and proof beyond a reasonable doubt should not be in the picture. However, a lot of public opinion is on the line, and a lot of people who don’t pay enough attention to the important stuff and think that he is on trial. So, why not pick something that is blatantly provable, like all the lies he told? It would be easier.

      In the meantime, sexual abuse is now in the forefront, where it belongs. Let’s kill two birds with one stone. Help past and future victims of abuse and kick St. Brett the Virgin’s ass to the curb,

  4. Oh, I’m praying for his sorry-ass all right. Praying that everything nasty in his background will be revealed and the truth and nothing but the truth will be shouted from the housetop about his treatment of women and his alcoholism. Praying that he never, ever sees the judges chambers of the Supreme Court. How’s that for praying for him?

    • Hi my dearest Eleanor,

      St. Brett the Virgin doesn’t pray, he preys. His religion is just an other accessory, like his wife and kids, that he thought would have been necessary for him to look like Supreme Court justice. I think he’s a psychopath. He has no empathy or sympathy for anyone except himself. His tears were only for himself. I don’t detect any emotion from him other than anger. He’s an entitled asshole, and I suspect that’s exactly how he was raised. I bet he was told from the time he was crawling that he was expected to become a justice. I see him, and all I can think about is the Bates Motel. He even goes back to Georgetown Prep to work out. He says it’s because of security concerns, but I think he likes to relive his glory days. Whatever the reason, it’s just creepy. If he’s concerned about his security, he can get weights and a treadmill and out them in his million dollar house that he can somehow miraculously afford. The more I see him, the more I see what a dangerous person he is. Not saying he is going to kill people in a shower. Instead, he’ll decimate their lives. Don’t forget, this is the asshole who pushed the Vince Foster murder conspiracy. He hates, and he hates deeply and he never lets that hate go. That’s why he blamed the Clintons in his opening tantrum. Scary dude.

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