R.I.P. Irony

So, kids, are you watching the impeachment trial? I’m having a little trouble doing so, because my cable company keeps changing the channel. Instead of the Twitler impeachment trial, I have seen the impeachment of Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, Barack Obama and everyone else who is not Twitler.

the laugh out loud 3 movie collection

Original DVD cover

So far, I have not seen any of the talking heads on TV take notice of the multiple crimes that took place on the Senate floor today. Ken Starr murdered irony. Then he desecrated its corpse as he lectured us on how impeachment is used too much these days and for the wrong reasons, not important stuff like blowjobs. I missed what happened next, because I was trying to retrieve my eyeballs from the back of my skull. After poor irony suffered all of that, Bribery Barbie Pam Bondi resurrected poor irony and flogged it to death once more as she complained about conflicts of interest and nepotism pertaining to Joe and Hunter Biden. Once again, I was on eyeball retrieval duty. Forgive me if I am not recalling the correct order of Twitler’s defenders. Patrick Philbin spoke, but I have no idea what he said, because he triggered an immediate coma. There was also Jane Raskin. She was apparently hired as Rudy Giuliani’s defense attorney, because she spoke of little else. She said that Democrats are using FruityRudy as a distraction, but I really think she was just trying to distract us. Eric Herschmann dug up irony once again and chastised Hunter Biden for trading on family connections to make money. He also tried to impeach Barack Obama retroactively. He said a lot of other shit, too, and all with a straight face.

Who wasn’t mentioned even once all day? The mustachioed elephant in the room. From THE HILL:

Former national security adviser John Bolton is adding fresh uncertainty to President Trump’s impeachment trial.

Bolton’s accusation, made in a forthcoming memoir, that Trump tied $391 million in aid to Ukraine to the country helping with investigations into Democrats — including former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden — ricocheted across the Capitol.

Democrats quickly characterized the allegation as a “thunderbolt,” a “bombshell” and “gut check time” for Republicans, arguing that it underscored the need for additional witnesses and documents.

Republicans, caught flat-footed, struggled to get on the same page, as some GOP lawmakers indicated Bolton’s allegation strengthened the need for witnesses, while others argued the memoir offered nothing that would change the outcome of the impeachment trial.


Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) set off alarm bells for Republicans when he told reporters that he thought it was “increasingly likely” that other members of his caucus would support hearing from Bolton. He threw in the caveat that he hadn’t spoken to his GOP colleagues.

“My thoughts about how we may all react are personal,” he said.

His statement earned him a public roasting by new Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.), who previously donated to a 2012 pro-Romney super PAC. She accused the Utah senator of trying to “appease the left.”

But Romney was quickly backed up by [Susan] Collins, who said in a statement that she thought Bolton’s allegations “strengthen the case” for witnesses. Collins reiterated that she will wait until after opening arguments and questions from both sides before she makes a decision but said she is “likely” to support calling witnesses.

Sens. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) and Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), two other potential swing votes, were tight-lipped as they made their way through crowds of reporters.

“Well, I read it. I’ve said before I was curious what Ambassador Bolton might have to say, and I’m still curious,” Murkowski said Monday when asked by The Hill about her reaction to a New York Times story about Bolton’s forthcoming memoir.


A rotating cast of Republican senators was spotted going into [Mitch] McConnell’s office ahead of the start of the trial on Monday as the caucus grappled with how to handle Bolton. In addition to normal members of leadership such as [John] Thune and Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), Sens. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and Mike Braun (R-Ind.), part of a group that’s taken over messaging for the caucus during the trial, were spotted heading into the leaders office.

Monday, the start of the second week of the trial, had been expected to be focused on Trump’s legal team, which is making its defense of Trump after a short two-hour preview on Saturday.

Instead, senators, House managers and Trump allies found themselves besieged with Bolton questions, underscoring how completely he had taken over the debate in the Capitol.

No word on the other elephant in the room, Lev Parnas Gump.


Filed under Barack Obama, Democrats, humor, Impeachment, Joe Biden, John Bolton, Lamar Alexander, Lindsey Graham, Lisa Murkowski, Mitch McConnell, Mitt Romney, movies, parody, politics, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, satire, Senate, snark, Susan Collins, Wordpress Political Blogs

15 responses to “R.I.P. Irony

  1. Hello mikk2. The gaslighting by this administration is at a level never seen before. The US has to stop this or we can never trust any statement from the government. Hugs

    • Hi Scottie! Call me Nonnie. What is really frightening is that the Rethug side of the Senate will either buy this bullshit or not believe a word of it but will swear it is the gospel truth anyway. They are so short-sighted. All the crap they are putting forth now is bound to come back and smack them in their smug faces later. If this doesn’t make Dems get off their asses and vote, then nothing will.

  2. Sherry Shirk

    You’re a genius. Should be working for Colbert. Hate to say it because I love him but his material is getting stale. Needs a dose of nonnie.

  3. I agree with Sherry Shirk. Love her name. I am trying to remember what the psychology was of the people that refuse to admit the truth. Well I suppose I can begin with my own two cents. For a start: party loyalty, a type of brain washing, refusal to admit they are wrong and the opposing party has been right all along, inability to accept that they have been snockered by a loser because “they” would have egg on their faces, love of money more than moral conviction, inability to stand up to a bully, no moral compunction, fear of not getting reelected by a base that believes Twilter’s every word, etc. I have more, but Ken Starr who was Baylor University’s president in my town really takes the cake Just what is in it for him? He was head of a Baptist University, and oh dear, that is supposed to be so upright and Bible fearing. I can not believe the level of deceit that the republican party has stooped to. There appears to be no depth too low that they will not stoop. Surely history books will reveal this, but who knows, maybe history books will be cooked too.

    • There’s a difference between knowing the truth and admitting that you know it. The Rethugs, with the exception of a handful who are delusional mouth-breathers, know what Twitler did, know that it was illegal and know that he should be convicted. However, they cling to power. I don’t know what they are so afraid of. They will all be able to use their political careers as launchpads to lucrative positions in lobbying enterprises or just as a picture on the wall of some company that thinks it will gain some gravitas by hanging the picture. I have to wonder how many are being blackmailed, either by Russia or Twitler’s hoods. They put all their eggs in the basket of a pussy-grabbing moronic loudmouth with an inability to listen or learn. Now, they are putting their eggs in the baskets of Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz and Jay Sekulow. Ken Starr only got the job at Baylor because he was famous for the Clinton impeachment (talk about hiring someone just for the name). He had no affiliation with Baylor. Then he got fired for looking the other way when sexual assaults were occurring on campus. We know Alan Underpants Dershowitz’s sordid history. I’ve said before that I don’t blame lawyers for what their clients are accused of. Everyone deserves the best defense they can get. However, Dershowitz takes cases, not because he reveres that concept. He takes the cases that will get him the most media attention and money. The little bow he took at the end of his speech today tells the story. As for Sekulow, he’s under investigation for a scam in which his organization Christian Advocates Serving Evangelism (CASE), which is supposed to be nonprofit funneled $60 million to him and his companies and relatives. Then there’s Bribey Barbie Bondi. I’m sure there’s dirt on the rest of Twiter’s apologists masquerading as attorneys.

      P.S. I changed the font after someone said the old font was too small and hard to read. Do you like it? I can change it again.

      • Yes, I like the larger font size. My easier for my eyes since I wear glasses but I am presently using readers since I just got a current refraction after laser cleaning of the artificial lens post cataract surgery two years ago.

        • Good. I didn’t know I could change the font or I would have asked way earlier if anyone was having trouble reading it. I hope this makes it easier for everyone.

  4. therub

    i like the larger image and larger font. of course i do, i’m an old fart who can’t see anymore. but what i really enjoy is your wit and humor to help get us thru this horrible chapter of history. rethugs no longer represent the people. they’ve designed a system that benefits the wealthy and powerful. our government is broken and needs to be put back together again. i’m hopeful this will happen as gen-xers and millennials replace baby boomers. let’s hope the people of the future refuse to put up with any of this crap. otherwise, we’re toast.

    • Perception is a funny thing. While the font is a lot bigger, the image is actually the same size as always, though it really does look bigger. Someone on Twitter said she wasn’t able to read the small font, and I aim to please (second child syndrome).

      I think the Rethugs are unbelievably short-sighted, and in this case, they completely miscalculated. They should have known there would eventually be a Bolton, and now a Kelly, hiding in the shadows ready to emerge. Now, Mittsie Romney is the bad guy, according to the appointed senator from Georgia. Lou Dobbs is already painting Bolton as a tool of the Democrats. They are turning on each other, and this will be even bloodier than the Bowling Green massacre.

  5. Pingback: R.I.P. Irony – FairAndUNbalanced.com

  6. Yes, irony died here — as the alien Republican plant pod split open and released its evil twin, hypocrisy.

    Not sure what Bolton would be bringing to McConnell, but definitely not flowers. Poison ivy or a bombshell, perhaps. In any case, his consternation is well merited.

    • Bolton is very clever. He has a hand grenade he nicknamed Rudy hidden in the bouquet, and he’s going to pull the pin as soon as he’s in the door.